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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Daughter's Hair

5 replies

alexdoahundredfarts · 30/07/2026 14:20

One of my children has really really curly hair. If it doesn't sorted every day then it becomes matted and really hard to unravel, and it really hurts her.
Her dad and I don't live together and often when I send her in to school on one day with a hairstyle, she comes back to me a few days later with the exact same hair style, but much messier and matted, it's clear nothing has been done with it and it's up to me to sort it out which takes a long time and is really agonising for her. I have mentioned this a few times but I get lies and defensivenss in return so I stopped.
She just got back from a long time with him and her hair was absolutely appalling. I thought I was going to have to cut it all off. Fortunately with a hair wash, a very intensive condition, and lots of careful detangling, it got sorted.

AIBU to address this with him? Nothing will come of it because he won't hear anything that sounds like criticism from me but I am I doing the wrong thing to just let it go? She looks like such a state sometimes I really feel bad for her.

OP posts:
CeciliaMars · 30/07/2026 14:26

Of course address it with him - he needs to learn how to take care of his daughter’s hair!

OrsolaRosso · 30/07/2026 14:29

How old is your daughter? Can she in any way prompt her Dad to help her? Or start learning how to deal with it herself?

Pinkywoo · 30/07/2026 14:40

Can you send her with her hair in two french plaits? In curly hair they should last a few days.

Devilsmommy · 30/07/2026 14:44

Pinkywoo · 30/07/2026 14:40

Can you send her with her hair in two french plaits? In curly hair they should last a few days.

This is what I was going to say. At least that way she won't end up having to have it painfully untangled. Though her dad is a complete twat for letting it get that way and I wouldn't give a shit if he doesn't like criticism. He should sort it out so there's nothing to criticise if he can't handle it

alexdoahundredfarts · 30/07/2026 14:45

shes 5 and she doesn’t really allow anyone to do her hair. I make sure it gets done but he just caves in to her and I feel thats irresponsible.

whenever I send her to school when he is collecting her I always make sure her hair is in plaits, and either she undoes the plaits and it gets left like that, or he leaves the plaits in for days and they look a mess. I did say to him all he needs to do is redo the plaits every morning but it doesn’t look like he does it. Ive not said anything about it for months because there just seemed no point but this time after the holiday with him it’s been really shockingly bad. It was like one big dreadlock.

OP posts:
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