Disappointed by summer tech club

[BetweenUandMe]

NC for this.

aibu to feel frustrated that my ds isn’t able to enjoy his holiday club because of kid with SEN?

My ds8 is at a summer technology/coding club this week from 10am to 3.30pm for primary school age kids. It’s a specialist club that needs lots of focus as it is quite technical. It’s only a little club and there are ten kids attending this week (goodness knows how they are turning a profit as there are two adults).

So the “problem” - there’s just one older kid in the group -I’d guess he’s about ten years old. He clearly has some kind of SEN as he constantly yells and runs around - and they are in a cabin which is incredibly echoey so the stamping and shouting is almost unbearable. The adults running the club look jaded and even just being in the room for drop off I feel totally overwhelmed by the noise level. The kid seems to have lungs like a bellows!

I can totally see why his parents wanted him out of their house but oh my god it’s horrific to be trapped in an echoey building with him - like some kind of torture. Surely a kid like this would be better at an outdoor active club where his behaviours might be better absorbed?

I don’t feel like I can say anything to the club as his parents would have paid for him to be there too and not their fault their kid is totally unruly and disruptive.

My ds8 hasn’t really been able to enjoy the club because of the endless shouting and has come home sad and exhausted and fractious.

Luckily ds only has two more days there. I can’t afford to rebook him to a different club and I don’t have any spare vacation from work to use up.

I really wanted ds to have a nice time at the tech club. Should I just let go of my frustration ? Help me to be reasonable MNetters!

I think you are too nice - I’d complain. You have paid for your DS to do a great activity and one he needs to focus on. Someone bellowing and running around isn’t right for that activity and they need to be told that. Tech camps are not cheap - I know as I had 2 DS that did them.

I have no idea about the rights and wrongs of all of this. Obviously the child’s needs should be taking into account and if the provider cannot handle children who don’t sit nicely and face front then I don’t think it is the child’s fault, nor his parents.

Your post is quite mean. “I can see why his parents wanted him out of their house” that is an appalling perspective. Did you want your child out of your house too? Or did you need to work? Or do you want him to experience a hobby and social interaction?

Anyway…. You perhaps could just speak to the provider about it. Sooner rather than later. Ask them if there is another class running on another week, your son hasn’t been able to enjoy it this week (but Jesus Chris please be diplomatic about it!) and wondered whether he could try next week as well for free. If they happen to have a place available I imagine their costs will be the same whether they have 8 children attending or 9, so it’s a long shot but perhaps worth a try.

I would explain this to the people running the course and send him with noise can’t headphones

I don't understand why you wouldn't tell them. If the child is being disruptive and is spoiling the sessions for everyone else, he needs to be taken out and the parents need to be informed. Yes, his parents have paid for it, but so have you.

If the child has SEN (which you don't actually know), then there should be a plan in place to support this child appropriately without it impacting everyone else.

Nne thankful your child hasn't got special needs.

Actually my ds does have a special need as he has hearing loss. Background noise can be uncomfortable for him and he has to work twice as hard to filter and focus so he can understand what’s happening, but he’s good at technical practical things - picks up what to do intuitively - so he doesn’t rely on being verbally coached as much as he might otherwise.

I think because I know he’s frazzled in this environment I’m more sensitive than I otherwise would be.

I didn’t mention my ds’s SEN to the club as he had chosen not to wear his hearing aids (his hearing loss is usually manageable in small environments ). I just didn’t expect this club to be so chaotic.

Regarding the comment about parents not wanting their kid in the house - I was being flippant and that was tactless. But being honest I think MANY parents with behaviourally challenging kids go to work partly so they can afford a break! Summer clubs are often a good way to occupy kids in a long long summer so you aren’t stuck for seven weeks trying to keep kids with SEN occupied productively and off screens and gaming!

I am honestly a bit scared to complain. The kid goes to my son’s school . It’s only two more days. I’ll sit it out and make a mental note I won’t book this club again.

send your in with noise cancelling headphones to wear when he needs to concentrate?