Can a binge drinker ever become a moderate drinker?

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I am a binge drinker, never have cravings but at least one day over the weekend Dh and I turn off the telly put on some music and drink from 7pm until bedtime,
I will easily sink a bottle of wine and him 6-8 cans.

I did consider giving up completely but I look at my mum 80 this year and enjoys a glass of wine most nights but she’ll only have a drop about a small glass measure and make it last but when it’s gone it’s gone and she doesn’t make a night of it.
I don’t want to binge anymore but is it realistic to think I could enjoy one glass in a restaurant or one glass in the garden or even relaxing in the evening without the need to go back and finish the bottle?
I seem to be fine not drinking for a while but then I wish I could just have one when others do.
Would my tolerance level lower enough to get used to one glass?

This is debatable. There are plenty of studies that argue for the opposite

www.southampton.ac.uk/news/2009/03/daily-drinking-rather-than-binge-drinking.page

I used to be a binge drinker. I stopped by giving up wine completely. The only drinks I had after that was fruit cider or cocktails which I didn’t want to binge on in the same way. I didn’t have an off switch with wine no matter what I tried. I have now pretty much given up alcohol completely. I drink at a large party a few times a year (not wine still!). I don’t miss it.

I think on MN any thread about alcohol will bring out the posters who feel smug about how little they drink. See also posts about diet/weight.

There are plenty of studies showing obesity is worse than drinking yet you wont find such self righteous preaching on those threads.

Personally, I can't. I have to stay completely alcohol free. In my brain, there is no such thing has having a couple of drinks and then stopping.

Hats off to any binge drinkers who can genuinely and consistently moderate their drinking.

from what you have written OP, I don't think you will find it easy to be a moderate drinker.

you sound like a classic all or nothing type.

id suggest you stop completely - at least try - you can always start again if you get bored.

I think if you can work out what you are getting from alcohol and your reasons for drinking it, that is a start. For me, I was chasing that dopamine hit and kept drinking so the hit would stay. I was also using alcohol to tune off from the weight of responsibility/life issues. I am going to use this reset to get back into appreciating the small things in life.

OP, it sounds like it's a fun way for you and your OH to connect and the amount while technically a binge, isn't a massive amount. I'd like to get back to that level.

This, it's pretty simple really.

Can you stop at a glass? If you can't, if you find it too tempting to go back and finish the bottle because it's there, that's likely to always be the case and it's unlikely you'll ever find it easy to moderate.

It's the same reason I'm 7 years sober. Because I could never stop at one, I know no matter what I put in place I would never stop at 1 for long, it would creep back up and up and up and eventually the cycle would take me back to the dark place.

To answer your question: yes - I was a binge drinker from late teens to mid thirties.

Have cut down with life changes and job/kids. Happened naturally.

In my 20s and early 30s I drank heavily frequently. I would easily drink 1-2 bottles of wine or 6+ pints. I don't think I've drunk more than two drinks in a sitting for several years now. So it's definitely possible- for me it was pregnancy and then parenting that forced a transition, and provided a resit with such a long period of not drinking at all. But I think you can do that too, it just needs more active thought. The half bottle idea is a good one, maybe trying other kinds of drink (maybe with a bit of novelty to it - e.g. those cocktails you get in cans, flavoured ciders) so that you drink less but the difference isn't as stark as still having wine but less.

Oh and yes - your tolerance will reset, but it takes a while. I now feel a pleasant buzz from a glass of wine - when I drank a lot, one glass wouldn't have registered.

A liver function test won't show fatty liver, fibrosis (damage) or even early stages of cirrhosis.

Your liver function tests will only show a problem when it's too late.

There will be damage to your liver which likely will only become apparent when your liver is put under pressure from something else - cancer, serious infection, natural effect of ageing etc

Yep I'm fully aware of this having had a serious infection which put strain on my Iiver and it performed perfectly and biopsy and blood tests showed it completely undamaged.
Thanks though!

And again, obesity is more dangerous than alcohol for your liver

It's your choice but scientific evidence speaks for itself.

Problem/binge drinkers always claim it won't happen to them

I'm not really sure of your point here - it's not like it's a choice between drinking or obesity? Regular drinkers are more likely to be obese anyway, because alcohol itself is pretty calorific.

My point is its rare to see a pile on on a thread where someone is overweight,
whereas people rush to alcohol threads to quote recommended limits.

Thanks for this.

I think often the pro daily 'moderate' drinking types are often consuming much more than they make out, a 'glass' can be pretty big and people often top up without thinking.

OP you could just make it a fortnightly rather than a weekly event? It's not a massive bender. Alternate with the cinema or something the other week?

I think a bottle of wine in one sitting does count as binge drinking, but I think plenty of people do it.

Dh and I went out last month for drinks and I had 3 glasses of wine (got over-excited as we never get out just the two of us) and realised they were larges glasses and I had drunk a whole bottle of wine. Easily done!

I don't think it is good for your health to do that but I see no reason why it would mean you are unable to moderate. Do you feel as if once you start you cannot stop even if you wanted to? I think that would be a problem even if it was only once a month or year even

That's fine by me as I don't have a problem 😁

If it’s once a week you’re not dependent.
Your liver will have to put in a bit of a weekly shift but that’s all
Its regular heavy that buggers it
It gives you pleasure and as long as you are safely at home I wouldn’t give it a second thought

I think if you think it's rare to see a pile on for someone for being overweight and lots of dire warnings about their health then you haven't read any of the many, many threads about weight loss injections!

Yeah, I'd think nothing of drinking 2 bottles of wine on a Thursday, going to work on Friday and going back out again on Friday and Saturday. Had a very sociable job too so would be out multiple times a week.

Now I've got two children who are physically incapable of sleeping in past 7am and frankly the idea of drinking more than half a bottle of wine and then getting up with them at 6.30am is horrific. I generally have two glasses on Friday and Saturday night and that's it. If we're going out for a meal I'm happy to have a glass of wine or a beer without feeling the need to keep on drinking. The last time I was actually drunk, I went up to bed to hear the sound of DC2 throwing up everywhere and that was the worse night of my life. 🤢

Having concerns about medication isn't the same as going on to a thread about weight and preaching 2000 calories to every overweight person

Buy 1/2 bottles.

I think this is a consequence of the, understandable, efforts to try and get us to reframe how we drink. A bottle is technically a binge, but it's not really in the same league as sinking half a bottle of whisky. So a bunch of not ideal, but really not terrible behaviour gets bundled in with properly dysfunctional stuff.