Children’s sport

[Squidgemoon]

AIBU for being frustrated with the fiercely competitive nature of children’s sport? My DS is 10 and has been playing a team sport for 5 years. He does not come from great sporting stock (DH and I are not sporty at all) and he has no ambitions to become a professional, play for the county or win the league. He just enjoys playing in a low key, keeping fit kind of way. But there doesn’t seem to be any room for that anymore - it was fine when he was 5/6 but now everyone else is so competitive (the parents worse than the kids!) that he just isn’t enjoying it now.

Adult sports teams seem to exist that are just for fun so why not children’s ones? There don’t seem to be any, at least round near me.

He has pretty much decided now that he doesn’t want to go back in September so I’m on the hunt for a replacement activity. He does martial arts which he enjoys but I liked him doing a team sport as I think being part of a team does teach important skills. Anyone got any bright ideas for a non-sporty, non-competitive 10 year old?

You could perhaps separate the teamwork and the sport? So e.g. scouts, theatre studies/choir, orienteering etc would involve some elements of teamwork, and then he can do martial arts, swimming, running etc for the exercise aspect?

What team sport does he play now??
There must be other options. Other teams even in the same sport..

The sport he currently plays is cricket. We have thought about moving him to a different club but honestly they all seem to be as bad as each other round here - you obviously get to witness the behaviour of the opposition’s coaches and parents at matches!

@takealettermsjones that is a good idea to look for another team orientated activity that isn’t sport.

Agree. I think it's a real shame that it has to be so serious so young. Worse, scouts pick out such young children, and it can all become super intense, they can signed by the Reds but are then kicked out if they're not good enough, at a very young age-and I really worry that in some families, the child is then given no support (maybe the parents are very disappointed and take it out on the child?)
Even if my kids were very good, I would be worried about them being so serious so young.

My nephew is a professional cricketer so I have a pretty good idea of how the county pathway scheme operates.

I’m not sure what area you live in but my best suggestion would be to find a less aspirational club for your DS to play at.

In every county there is a hierarchy of cricket clubs with certain ones being seen as sources of future talent. They attract the more competitive parents and are not the best place for a lad to play socially with no desire to play at a higher level.

Search for less aspirational clubs more along the lines of village clubs and you’ll find a totally different atmosphere there. Another tip is to look at clubs with a lot of adult teams as when you get down to 3rd and 4th XI’s you are very much in the social cricket territory which for many people is far more appropriate than more competitive cricket.

Once you find a suitable club for your DS I think you’ll all enjoy it far more.

Thanks and maybe I will look into other clubs more before throwing the towel in completely. DS plays for our local club but I guess it must be one of the more serious ones - they train indoors throughout the winter which I know many clubs don’t, and in the summer they have two nights a week of training plus weekend matches and sometimes midweek matches as well so it all becomes very intense in the summer which DS has been struggling with. I think he’s feeling fed up with it generally but he might feel differently if I suggest he has the winter off and joins a less serious club next summer.

What you have described is a typical “serious” cricket club. It will inevitably attract those who are looking for more than just social cricket.

Definitely have a look at some lower profile local clubs and go and tell them about what you and your DS want from the game. You’ll soon find somewhere far more suitable for him to play.

One of my boys was similar - loved the activity and social side of everything he tried but mostly stood around chatting and wasn't competitive. Eventually he got into sea scouts and was in his element - I'd be stood around for ages waiting for him to get out the river and come home. He's tried a few other water based activities and loves every one. He's out several times a week, weekends away with various groups and has started racing in the last couple of years.

One of my other boys threatened to give up his sport so eventually we moved him to another club and he's much happier and more committed now.