To feel so scared and stressed?

[Rugrats102]

I’ve been referred for a lump in my breast. I’ve had lots of breast cysts over the years, I’m always down at the breast clinic (or so it seems) this lump feels different. It’s been a hellish 2 week wait, I have my appointment tomorrow.

TMI but I found a lump in the inner side of my bump cheek about a year ago. I went to the drs but the nurse practitioner said that she couldn’t feel it. So I thought I was just imagining it. Except I’m definitely not as it’s there all the time now and the last couple of weeks and become very painful.

I went to the drs this morning about that and she said she needed to refer me to a lower GI surgeon as she thinks it may need surgery to see what it is/ remove, but that she didn’t think cancer at this stage?! I was like WTF?! Thanks, now im definitely worried. Luckily, thank god I have private healthcare so I’m trying to get an appointment sorted out in the next couple of weeks.

I start a new job in 2.5 weeks, I’m so worried that all this is going to impact it, I feel they’ll just sack me

But my biggest fear is that I have a 4 year old DD who I’m terrified that if it is something horrible, I’ll end up leaving without a mum. I know that’s catastrophising but I’m a very anxious person anyway.

I’m stressed trying to work my notice in my current role which is hugely busy and ducking out for all these medical appointments too. I’m worried they’ll think I’m just sacking work off because I’m working my notice.

I’ve tried to be really strong the last couple of weeks but this afternoon I just feel done. I’m so worried about this appointment tomorrow and potentially needing a biopsy which will probably then be another how many weeks worrying.

Im just fed up.

Anyone

So sorry youre feeling so stressed and seem to have everything going on at the same time.
Try to do something nice for yourself tonight or keep yourself distracted with your daughter - go for a walk, play some games, go to the playground etc - to get you through until after the appointment tomorrow.
And block work out of your mind. Better to get all the appointments done in your notice period for an old job where it doesnt matter what they think.

I am sorry that you are going through this. Do something nice with your daughter tonight. I would also plan something nice for the weekend as it will give you something to look forward to.

Thank you. Just finished putting my daughter to bed, hugged her v tightly. Felt really guilty tbh as I’ve snapped at her a few times tonight as she was acting up and I just don’t have the headspace to be able to calmly deal with it today.

We’re actually going away this weekend so I hope it will help.

Managed to get an appointment for the ‘bum lump’ for Friday so hopefully will have a few more answers then!

It's such a stressful wait but on the other hand at least you're getting it checked and not burying your head in the sand. I'll have my fingers crossed for you tomorrow!

You are massively catastrophising and I would consider getting help for your anxiety as as much of priority as getting your lumps and bumps checked out.

I understand that the waiting is difficult as I have recently been through the same, but even if you do get bad news, which you probably won’t, there is plenty of treatment and support available. You are a million miles away from needing to worry that you won’t be around for your dd.

Didn't want to read and run. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time and I know it's so easy for us all to say try not to be anxious or worry when we aren't the ones going through it. Main thing now is you're being seen and fingers crossed it is absolutely nothing to worry about. Do you have anyone you can talk your worries through with? I find that helps take some of the pressure off and rationalise a little bit more. Or write them down just to get them off your chest, including the ones you know are your mind getting to you.

I totally get the whole new job thing as I have had this although mine was different health related circumstances.... All was fine and is fine with work. If they are anyway decent they will understand.
Enjoy your weekend away, hopefully it will take your mind off everything and give you a chance to breathe.

Please keep us updated on how you get on.