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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to have changed jobs?

4 replies

gundigirl · 26/07/2026 10:27

I've recently accepted a new job and, although I was initially really excited, my DH's anxiety is now making me second-guess myself.

My current employer has been through three rounds of redundancies in the past year. Next month another eight people are leaving, including several members of senior management. Morale is pretty low and, honestly, I was increasingly worried that I could end up without a job by the end of the year if things carried on as they are.

I was offered a new role in a field I'm genuinely excited about. It comes with a £10k pay rise and seems like a great career move. The downside is that I'll need to commute to London once, occasionally twice, a week (Vs my current job which is mostly remote with the occasional day of travel).

My DH says he's happy for me and agrees it's a good opportunity, but he keeps bringing up all the practicalities - childcare, school runs, what happens if one of us is delayed, whether we'll cope, etc.

My view is that plenty of families manage this sort of arrangement, and we'll just have to work out the logistics as we go along. It doesn't feel sensible to stay in a job that seems increasingly unstable just because it's easier day to day.

AIBU to think this is a risk worth taking? Or is DH being the sensible one and I'm underestimating how difficult it'll be?

OP posts:
Fieldday26 · 26/07/2026 11:02

What he actually means is what if he’s got to step up and do more parenting.

DahliaDelights · 26/07/2026 19:28

Fieldday26 · 26/07/2026 11:02

What he actually means is what if he’s got to step up and do more parenting.

This 100%

He's not raising concerns, he's seeing that he will need to be more of a parent. That you doing it all is going to end, that you always being the one is going to end.

QuaintBeaker · 26/07/2026 19:30

It sounds like a no-brainer OP!

Yes things will change, there might be challenges, but like you say... you will deal with them if and when they arise.

HiHoCoaching · 30/07/2026 09:26

Change can be harder for some people and your DH may just be considering what this will mean to the family but if you can go through each day with him, almost create a calendar and spell out what you'll both be doing on each day it may help to settle his nerves. It sounds like a great opportunity and one you're really excited about. It hasn't been that long since couples both had to commute into London everyday as well as juggle childcare so it's not that it isn't possible, it's just a change for how you've been living.

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