Calling child the wrong name

[purplepuffa]

Would you be offended if someone called your child the wrong name several times in a row?

At my child's birthday party, I called a 6 year old the name of another 6 year old who was there. They look sort of similar, build and hair etc. I did it quite a few times including directly to the child before the mum reminded me of their actual name 😥

They are both kids of friends I know well, so felt terrible and apologised a lot! Obviously I did actually know the child's name - I think I was just in a bit of a weird headspace with all the party planning and hosting!

I've been awake worrying that I've really offended my friend even though she was polite about it.

YABU - I would be very upset if that was my child
YANBU - Not a big deal!

I often work with groups of children I don't know well. Eg scouts. I always say 'if I call you the wrong name tell me the first time or I'll be calling you that forever'

So funny especially that it's not even your own dog!
I used to call my youngest daughter by our dog's name and vice versa! My excuse was they had similar energy 😅

Thanks all. The kids do look similar in terms of build and hair colour/ style, but no there wasn't a racial element.

Id be more worried about the fact you worried about it so much it kept you awake and then you felt the need to post on MN about it.

That’s a well known and studied issue. We are all better at recognizing faces of the types of people we are familiar with when growing up. So anyone who grows up in a multi-ethnic community will be fine with a range of different people. For someone who grows up in a place where almsot everyone is white, they will struggle with recognizing Asian and black people.

I grew up in a place where almost everyone was white and I don't struggle because I make an extra conscious effort in that scenario. I don't think it's an excuse.

I was pretty mortified that this happened - but I would have made damn sure it didn't happen if they were only two Black or Asian kids at the party.

If I got them mixed up in that scenario I think I'd want the ground to swallow me whole.

I'm not great with names, and then when people have kids there is another tier of names to remember also!

We had friends around the other day with two teenagers and I totally called one by the wrong name. She didn’t say anything but I clocked it later. Oops! But whatever.

It happens! I’ve spent all year mixing up 2 brothers in school! The other kids now remind me it R not R and we all have a laugh! Their mum is roughly the same age as me and says she does the same! we look at each other and go ‘perimenopause’ 🙄

My nan had 11 children, so it was a bit of a roll call until she got your name right🤣🤣🤣🤣

Worrying about this is a very Adhd thing.

My much loved MIL never got DS's name right. It was a name from her country of origin but we used a slightly unusual diminutive. In over 20 years she never got to grips with it. DS wasn't bothered. He loved her regardless.