Watering neighbours plants and suggesting a gardener

[WhereIBelong]

A neighbour has asked us to water her plants when she is away for 3 weeks. She has a big garden with lots of pots and a greenhouse that she said would need watering daily and other flower beds with plants and shrubs that would need watering 3 times a week. We said no due to the time it would take but offered her our gardeners phone number who we use to water our garden when we are away.

My parents were here when she asked and they said it would have been nice of us to help and that we were rude for giving them the gardeners number. I think we were helpful offering a solution and don’t see how it was rude. What do you think?

if you're in a hosepipe-ban area at the moment yanbu. It would be a lot of time consuming work to water a large garden by hand. Even if you could use a hose, if you don't have the time you don't have the time. That fact it would have been "nice to help" doesn't mean you must help, if you can't spare the time. However most people help out their neighbours in hopes of reciprocity - but it sounds like you are self-sufficient re garden watering, so completely up to you.

I'm with you and think the gardner is a great solution. There's also the option to have a timed irrigation system which can be used in pots as well.

She was fine to ask, you were fine to say it was too much for you to manage. You offered a solution that you yourself use (and a recommendation is always better than looking up a service for yourself). I really don't see the problem! But maybe they are used to a community neighborhood feel where all just pitch in. Or maybe they are just people pleasers and couldn't bear you saying no?!!

A weekend yes, 3 weeks no chance.

Three weeks is too long, and if in a hose pipe ban, and you'd need to use a watering can, completely unreasonable.

Your parents are probably more amenable because they are retired and less time pressured.

That should say 2 weeks not 3 weeks.

Too long. I’d be paying a teenager on my street to do it.

It’s cheeky. We’re exhausted from doing our watering and plan to put in an irrigation system for next year. My gardeners comes in when I’m away. I wouldn’t even ask family or friends!

I think you are fine saying no. My neighbour has lots of plants in pots and tubs. I water them when she is on holiday and it really does take a long time. However my neighbour always looks after our house when we are away, which is a lot more than she is.

I can understand why your parents thought it would be “nice to help” but it’s easy to be nice when it’s not their time and energy that’s being given! How did your neighbour take your response? She presumably realises it’s a huge ask to expect you to water such a large number of plants for two weeks, particularly when she doesn’t do the same for you. In her shoes, I would have been too embarrassed to ask for such a huge favour when I did nothing for you.

Maybe they can’t afford a gardener and are simply used to neighbours helping neighbours. That works great in some areas, but not in others. Your parents are making assumptions that may or may not be valid. It was your absolute right to say “no” and it was thoughtful of you to offer them an alternative that has worked for you. I’d have done it, but my children are grown and DH and I are retired. Maybe they could pay a teenager in the neighbourhood to take care of watering.

I once helped a neighbour with her plants, same situation as OP, put all my best efforts but ended up killing some of her tomatoes. Guess who never got asked again

two weeks is quite a big ask, particularly as they were so particularly about how regularly you water.

People with fancy gardens need to plan their holidays better. I used to do pots and baskets, and they looked beautiful. We started going to a specific festival type trip that was always the week after school broke up. I stopped doing the pots in the end. No outdoor tap, so hard for neighbours or a gardener to help anyway.

It never ceases to amaze me how generous some people can be with other’s time and money.

are your parents the ones who also said you should drive a neighbour an hour to hospital and back every week for 6 weeks?.if so they love trying to volunteer you for stuff!
Tell them they can help if they are so keen

Tell your parents you'll give your neighbour their number instead lol

I think it would be reasonable if it was some hanging baskets but that sounds like a huge task. I'd be worried with the heat the plants would die anyway if I did anything wrong.

I have a big garden with lots of pots and a greenhouse, and last night it took me 45 minutes to water everything - and that was with a hosepipe! It’s too much to do 3 times a week for a neighbour for 2 weeks, she’ll have to pay somebody. Your parents may not understand how big a job it is.

Agree with you I am sick of watering my own garden. No way I would ask anyone else to do it. We take holidays in February for this reason

It’s not rude to deny someone hours and hours of your time when you don’t have that time to spare.

If there’s a teen on your street suggest she gives them £100 or so to do it

Just hear to lol at everyone watering their gardens all the time.

Mulch people mulch!!!

And watering every day. Even for pots that’s ridiculous.

She was basically asking you for a full working day of free labour. Is she retired by any chance?

Not at all unreasonable for them to ask, and not at all unreasonable for you to say no.

If I ask for a favour like this, I really really want the neighbour to feel free to refuse. I would only want them to accept if either (a) it would be mildly pleasurable for them to do the favour (or at worst just neutral), or (b) there was some reciprocal favour that they would like to be able to ask of me, such as watering, guinea pig care, etc.

What do you mulch with? How thick and how much does it cost for a huge garden?