DS getting the blame for what he & niece watched on YouTube

[Bramblelane]

NC in case a family member is on here as don't want them reading my other posts

DS is 11, he's very close to his younger cousin who is 9 months younger than him (and still 10 for a couple of months). Nieces parents aren’t together , for context this is my DP’s niece and DP isn’t ds’s bio dad. It may be relevant it may not But I have always felt as though BIL has been somewhat put out as his dd isn't the first grandchild anymore after she was for 3/4 years - Mil or FIL don't treat the children any differently just to add it's just his own weird thing

They often spend time together just the 2 Of them during family gatherings as they don't see each other too often due to BIL’s contact agreement with her mum and they didn't go to the same primary school. And due to ds seeing his dad EOW so they maybe only see each other once a month or so. Usually they're talking about Pokemon as this is a huge interest for DS atm or music or they play Minecraft together on the switch just normal child things.

However we had a bbq yesterday at BIL and other family was there like MIL etc etc ds was a bit grumpy as he didn't want to go he wanted to stay at home “doing nothing” in his words. We went anyway and we allowed him to leave after socialising a bit and go to nieces room.

DP went to check on them as they were quiet (unusual, DS is very loud normally!) but instead saw them watching a video on her laptop with 2 shirtless men which did freak him out as they're 10&11! Thankfully it wasn't anything awful and it was a video niece had found on YouTube called hot tub confesssions (or something like that)

DP said maybe it's time we come off the laptop full stop for the evening and play in the garden, niece kicked off and then BIL got involved, he blamed ds for the video as “he's older he couldve told dn it wasn't appropriate” but he's 11! He probably didn't think it was inappropriate as he was quite confused about what the fuss was about but he said he didn't put it on it was niece, at home he also does have supervised YouTube time he only is to watch it in the living room and if I had known he was watching unrestricted youtube with DN maybe I wouldn't have let him to go to her room

DN pinned the blame on DS and accused him on saying he had a crush on one of the men which started a “no you said it” argument, he stormed off and booted a food ball all over the fence in anger and it was safe to say it was a shit show amongst this was a 4 year old having a tantrum.

BIL is still refusing to back down and he's said that DS isn't to talk to DN for ‘ a while’ until he apologizes

I could do with an outsiders opinion please! Just don't be too harsh

No child should have unrestricted access to YouTube in a bedroom so I actually blamed her Dad in all this to be honest.

Hopefully he now has some internet restrictions turned on

Shirtless men are all over … adverts etc - so it can’t be that that’s bothering anyone - they hardly had their cocks out.

Was it the content that’s problematic? What were they talking about? Most of these kind of things are fairly innocent “I had two scoops of ice cream instead of one” type things. What was the content .

It wasn’t Only Fans

Just forget about it. It was a trivial incident that the adults are making too much of because of their own rivalries.

If the niece has unrestricted YouTube access and your son only watches it in the living room, I’d believe him when he says the niece put the video on. And her dad expecting him to say to her essentially “I don’t think this is appropriate for us to watch” when he lets her have unsupervised YouTube access is a bit bloody rich!

When mine were little and played with their cousins, they always blamed each other for breakages and what not. It’s just what kids do to get out of trouble. Lots of adults do this too.

I don't know what they were talking about I've not watched the video & don't know who they are, ds watches gaming and football/Pokemon things only when either me or DP are with him, he's never watched anything like that here. Although he can do what he wants at his dads (a whole other story!) but I still doubt he'd watch that sort of thing there. DP said they seemed to be late teenage boys or young adults though so I doubt they aim their videos at 10&11 year olds!

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Letting kids watch YouTube is stupid, supervised or not. The fast scrolling, constantly playing videos is an addictive disaster for developing brains.

Everybody is at fault here except the two children who could hardly be expected to know that's not appropriate.

So your BIL can’t be arsed to control or supervise what his daughter is watching but he expect your 11 year old!!! to do so? What if his DD was watching it by herself? Who was supposed to “stop” her then? Until he starts parenting he can shove his expectations up his arse!

Adults are to blame for letting children have access to Youtube and not supervising.

Neither child can be blamed for this.

He’s being ridiculous

The adults are to blame here - for DN having unmonitored access to youtube and allowing the 2 cousins to be watching unsupervised.

Your DS doesn't owe DBIL an apology. You all owe the kids one for not having boundaries in place to protect them.

At future family gatherings, please ensure that the children are monitored or have clear guidance around what is and isn't allowed.
As they become older teens this is especially important if your DN doesn't have consistent parenting then you will have to make sure your DS is clear on acceptable boundaries and spending time alone with his cousin if all the adults are distracted so that he is protected from your DBIL and his lax parenting.

The fast scrolling is YouTube shorts similar to Tiktok and ds has no interest in this.

Like I said DS doesn't have unrestricted access to youtube only at his dads but that's not up to me

BIL is making a colossal fuss about nothing.

If I remember correctly, wasnt that the youtuber twins, the Dolans or something?

Its two brothers messing around sharing silly secrets while splashing in water.

Its also about 10+years old so they went way back in time watching that!

I agree with everyone above, BIL is an idiot.

Let your DA calm down, tell him he isnt in trouble, and remind him next time ye are at an event not to be going off unsupervised cos you know BIL will be ready to pounce on any little issue.