AIBU for snapping at my friend over endless EastEnders talk?

[PeachesComeFromACan]

I have a friend who has a tendency to go on and on about the TV programs she watches. Lately the worst one has been eastenders. She rattles on about every story line, every character, recites lines etc etc and I don’t know who any of the characters are as I don’t watch it!

Last time we met up I swear to god she went on and on about that weeks eastenders for almost an hour. I kept trying to change the subject, kept deliberately acting bored etc etc … she doesn’t notice

She messaged this morning asking if I fancied meeting up and I was reluctant as I’m in a bit of an unstable mood anyway and after the hour long transcript last time I didn’t know if I could deal with it but she suggested she was feeling a bit down and I’m a sucker so went.

Got to coffee shop, literally as soon as I sat down she asked if I’d watched eastenders this week. I said “nope, I’ve told you I don’t watch it” so she said “ok you have a lot to catch up on …” she then started on about it so I said “let me stop you there, I don’t watch it so I have no idea who you’re on about”. So she started trying to explain who is who and I just snapped and said “I don’t care! I don’t watch it! I have no interest in it! I did try to tell you this last time!”

long story short she went really quiet, we cut the meeting short and I’ve not heard from her since. She’s not replied to my text either which is unusual.

I was out of order wasn’t I? 🤦‍♀️😞 just wish I’d never agreed to go today

Of course YANBU! It's incredibly self-centred to not notice that you're boring someone to death. Conversations are supposed to be two-way. You're a saint for being so patient with her. Maybe she's got the message now you've finally snapped? I would probably give her another chance. Have some topics ready that you want to discuss/questions to ask her. If she hasn't got the message and drones on, I'd get up and leave. Life's too short!

I think you’re both unreasonable but in a normal, inoffensive way like everyone is sometimes. It’s not a big deal, ideally you’d both apologise and move on.

She’s weird for talking about the soaps like real life and you’re too tetchy to have a polite conversation but if you’re generally good friends I think this is fine.

She’s weird for talking about the soaps like real life

Even if it was real life, op wouldn't want to sit and listen to friend going on endlessly about a lot of people she doesn't know.

I don't know how you have put up with talk about TV programmes for as long as you have OP. I hardly watch TV and listening to some one banging on about soaps which I have made a deliberate decision not to watch and have no interest in would just drive me mad.

If she is offended then so be it because if you have got to the stage where you actually want to avoid her company because of the drivel she talks then perhaps the friendship has come to it's natural end.

It’s quite possible she is lonely IRL so fixates on fiction.

Don’t worry about it. Maybe suggest she joins some online soap forums etc. But if she doesn’t get the message that you’re not interested in Eastenders then yeah the friendship has likely come to an end.

That kind of talk, one-sided et al reminds me of those who bang on about their pronouns. Conversation and being friends is meant to go both ways.

As@AgentPidgesaid, 2nd post down, it's all about her, not you.

Of course YANBU!

You've told her you don't watch it and she's incredibly rude to bang on about it!

WTF is the matter with her?

Let her mull it over. If the friendship is over because of this it was a rubbish one anyway.

Is she ND because this isnt really normal behaviour.

What do you have in common?

Nd bingo...

I’m crying. This is so funny.

I can totally imagine snapping over this.
I’ve done a similar thing and snapped when people have overstayed their welcome when visiting my house. I had to message and apologise, but I was honest and said it stresses me out when people stay for hours.

Some people just don’t get hints, even when they’re obvious! I think I would message and apologise for the outburst, although I’m not sure how you’re going to say ‘I’m sorry. I’m just sick of you talking about Eastenders’.

If she wants to blather on about the soaps to her hearts content then she should go over to Digital Spy. Don't get me wrong, I love EE and Corrie but save any 'Ooh, Ravi got his shirt off last night' conversations for fellow viewers. I get bored listening to others talk about shows I don't watch and I'm sure everyone else feels the same. YANBU.

My mum does this too even though she knows I don’t watch it. Honestly I think it’s because she doesn’t have much else to say

Once you said i don't want to talk about soaps what did you suggest you talk about?
Normally the conversation would be i don't have any interest in that, tell me about your job/family/hobby/stamp collection.

Shutting a conversation down without opening another stream is rude.

Just txt and apologise and say you arent interested in soaps, and feel you dont get to hear about what's going on in her life at the moment.

I've had this before. I did the same and tried to appear interested. 10 mins is about my limit then if I can't change the script I just leave. Good luck and hopefully your friend realises for next time. It's probably just that they don't have anything else interesting in their life.

Now you know how to get them to leave without asking… just start talking relentlessly about eastenders with as much detail as possible 😆.

The first thought I had reading the OP was what an excellent way it would be to get someone to leave who had outstayed their welcome!

I know it’s ND bingo but I have a friend with autism and she does this about a really niche sport that no one else is interested in. If you get onto the topic you are stuck there, she doesn’t understand subtle attempts at moving the conversation on, saying stuff like ‘Oh I don’t know anything about it, it’s not my thing, etc.’ It can be very difficult especially as I get the brunt of it in group settings because I foolishly let her know at the start of her friendship that I had a passable knowledge of said activity (from about 15 years ago) and she sees me as a kindred spirit. I won’t meet her one on one as it will just turn into a monologue about this sport, but in a group setting you can kind of call for help and someone will steer conversation away.

She would be incredibly hurt if I was as honest as I would need to be stop her.

"Bloody Hell Amber , you've rattled on longer than the actual programme lasts . Saves me having to watch it though "

Gosh my Mum did this .

"D'you watch Home&Away"

"No , I;m not in at that time"
So she'd give me the run down of characters I didn't know , care about or follow .

YANBU. She's gone quiet because she's embarrassed, that doesn't mean you were wrong to tell her. Just give her some space.

If you wanted to "catch up", you'd bloody watch it!

F

I knew someone like this - she would talk and talk and talk about her special interest, she was unstoppable. I gave her a wide berth. Years later I learned about autism and realised she was probably on the spectrum. This may be the case with your friend.

You were not wrong and I dont care the reason anyone going on about any topic yes even their children or wedding or new weight loss gadget constantly need to be told to stop it is rude and there is only some much one sided understanding people can take

A guy at my gym talks about tv program plots in quite a long winded way. He’s a kind soul and it’s not all the time, so I don’t mind too much but he won’t for example just give a brief overview of what he liked about a new series he has started watching, he’ll tell me the whole premise of the first episode and I nod along and go “ahhh…I see….a good watch then was it? I’ll add it to my list” but he won’t take the hint to move conversation on and will say “and there’s more” and will tell me the whole plot of an episode. Like he can’t finish the conversation without getting it out. I try and avoid asking him about tv now and I do enjoy the other things we talk about.

He also writes children’s stories in his spare time for his nieces and instead of just telling me that, he tells me in detail the plot of the whole story he’s written. A common theme with him.

You were not unreasonable, I'd have felt the same. If you want the friendship to recover and continue though, you might have to eat humble pie and apologise. Tell her that you love seeing her and enjoy when you have 2-way conversations that you can both contribute to. Remind her that it's her you're interested in, not fictional characters out of a tv programme you don't watch. Offer another coffee meet up and see if she's willing to forgive and forget.