I need your help mums :(

[pleasesomeone]

I’m crying writing this. I know I’m gonna sound utterly rediculous but I’m desperate.

my 4th child does not sleep. He is 20 months old
I have tried everything. For long periods.
I have kept bedtime routine at 7. I’ve then tried later bedtimes.
I’ve had normal baby cot, travel cot, toddler bed.
I’ve tried silence, white noise, night light, pitch black.
I’ve tried earlier dinner, later dinner.
I’ve finally given in just to get a BIT of sleep and co slept with him.
I take him to bed no matter what time or how it takes over an hour to get him to sleep.
he’s up and hour later. And all through the night probs every hour. He’s never ever slept through from birth.

I know he’s not in pain or unwell etc.
last few nights I thought right I’m gonna let him self soothe a bit in his cot. Left him to cry for 10 mins. Next minute he’s on the landing. Climbed out the cot!!!!!! And it’s o the lowest level.

im at my Whitts end. He takes up all my time. I’m functioning on zero sleep. Feel sorry for my other kids. If he finally drifts off he’s still up at 5am. Waking the house up.
he is mardy himself most days because he just hardly sleeps.
any tips or advice? Please don’t put me down I’m trying my best and honestly I already feel rock bottom as a mum.

I’ve also tried making him over tired and under tired before bed. Still the same
even tried camomile baby tea and magnesium before bed. I feel like I gave birth to Chucky.

another one for banging down the door of GP and don’t give up.

It sounds like something medical that is waking him up when lying down (asthma/breathing, epilepsy, reflux). All which probably take a long time to diagnose in an infant but which once identified probably have medicine solutions to help you both get some rest. My dd was similar and it was both asthma and reflux. Good luck. Hang in there.

Hire a sleep consultant.

@pleasesomeone I hear you and you know you are able to.parent well because you have done it thrice before.

I'd get him checked at the GP, ears, airways, etc. I'd also no underestimate the paun some children have from teething. Have you tried calpol at bed time?

DD was similar and didn't sleep through until 4ish. She couldn't settle without me near her. Sleep training did not work, those for whom it did will raise their eyebrows because they don't understand. Ditto those who think bf is a breeze and a choice.

DD is 28 now. At 16 she was diagnosed with GAD (and depression and ADD). Looking back it all made sense and I wish I'd just let her nuzzle with me in the early years. It would have been better for both of us.

Having said that, she's fine. A fully functional adult with a professional job who manages her conditions but the markers were there from the beginning.

This too shall pass and meanwhile with love.

But she’s not there for them now because she’s spending hours trying to get the LO down and she’s running on no sleep? Honestly I’d just let them snuggle up to you if you all get some more rest that way, can’t understand torturing yourself. Sleep training doesn’t work for all babies, they’re wired to need closeness.

How do you get him to sleep? Does he breastfeed? What time is bedtime, naptime, wake ups?

I'd focus on getting the timings spot on first. I liked the Huckleberry sleep schedules to figure out what were typical wake windows and nap lengths by age. I made one tweak after reading these when my son was 17 months, he night weaned off breastfeeding and started sleeping through, it was amazing. Here's the 20 month one:

https://huckleberrycare.com/blog/20-month-old-sleep-schedule-bedtime-and-nap-schedule?utm_source=google_ads&utm_campaign=google_pmax_premiumLP&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23899893725&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiP6_vJ3ulQMVV49QBh3dpi-qEAAYASAAEgJ4svD_BwE

He's almost 4 years old now and mostly sleeps through :)

Allll my boys have just been little shites with sleep. Likewise nothing worked and hate to say nothing did change until school age. Have a cup of coffee or my gp to was a monster energetic drink 😂 he’s 20 months so your nearly there xx

There’s no bed like mummy’s bed