To think ex should have had DS tonight overnight

[SplashSplashh]

I’ve had DS all of this week and since last week (8 nights) including his birthday. DS is autistic and was offered an overnight respite stay last night (my night) which was cancelled. Ex picked up DS this morning and the respite place offered the stay tonight instead, ex accepted straight away and dropped him off straight away.

DS only saw his dad for 2 hours the day before his birthday and I was surprised ex sent him off tonight as he’s only seen him for a few hours. He will only have him for 1 night this week.

I badly needed the respite night this week as DS has struggled with the change of being off school. Ex has also requested to the respite place that they split his nights between us equally even though he’s with me 5 nights a week.

I’ve done loads with DS this week and his behaviour has been challenging but I’ve done my best and taken him out lots (his dad doesn’t take him out) do you think ex should have accepted the respite night?

I think the respite nights should be all yours but proportionally probably reads more fairly even if it isn’t. I hope you have time to recoup while he’s at his Dads. Just do your bit as well as you can or you will waste valuable peace on thinking about how crap dh is.

That is appalling. Who offers the respite? Your ex clearly doesn’t need respite as he’s had a week of respite already.

What’s the usual split between you? If it’s EOW, then he doesn’t need respite.

I’m surprised it’s being offered at all, to be honest- so many people don’t get any, even when they are single parents with no involved ex.

He's a piece of shit. But I suspect you know that.

Respite from what exactly? The two stress-free hours he spent days ago?

That’s terrible he accepted it given he hasn’t even done his normal amount this week. Hope you get the chance to recharge a bit

He has him two nights a week and when the respite night falls on his night - only one night. Yeah we are lucky to get respite, he’s offered two nights a month but they do cancel his nights a lot!

Thanks ☺️ I felt bad for DS as all the birthday presents from his dad are in dad’s house and he hasn’t had a chance to play with them.
I’ve got an annual leave day today and I’ve had a lovely day wandering around galleries, walked along the beach and had an ice cream 🍦 Perfect!

Thats not fair but im surprised you csn choose your respite
nights ?
My son gets 4 overnights / month
But the respite place allocates which nights
As they want children with similar challenges on the same night etc
I with you really needing respite though
My son is going on monday
Summer holidays are really full on.

We can’t choose our nights, we are allocated two nights a month but as the last one was cancelled they offered tonight as they had a cancellation? Hope that makes sense!

Ah right
Dies your ex have set nights?
If so somtimes respite is going to benefit him
It should predominantly for you though as you do lions share.

There’s no way someone who has their child 2 nights a week needs respite. What a cheeky fucker. He isn’t spending quality time with him like that.

My apologies if it’s one of those situations where it’s very inflexible and you are stuck with however it falls. I would think it’s a good experience for your son, having more people involved and a wider range of experiences. Good foundations for his future.

How much of a dick is your ex? I would be tempted not to be at home when he drops him off after 'his time' with your son...I would send a message saying how sorry I was that the respite fell on his limited time with his son so I was graciously allowing him the extra hours the next day.
This obviously only works if he isn't stupid enough to leave your son on the doorstep unattended.

It’s pretty random when it falls but earlier they text saying - hey, we’ve had a cancellation for tonight, do you want DS to stay over? And ex text straight away that he was on his way with DS - he had only had him for 1 hour at that point!

The good thing is DS will get to go out and socialise with other kids and he does enjoy it there.

He can’t be arsed. Let’s be honest. Contact will probably tail off as DS gets older.