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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you find this a bit rude/off?

5 replies

Gottobeperfect · 24/07/2026 13:41

Mil messaged me to offer me a kitchen appliance. She’d been given it but didn’t want it.

I said yes thank you, that dh and I would have it.

For context, dh does most of the cooking in our house and is a very good cook. I have got the impression in the past that this rubs my mil and fil up the wrong way. They are very traditional and they don’t see cooking as a man’s job. When my mil went away sil went round and cooked for fil.

Theres also a backstory of sil being the golden child.

Anyway I arranged to collect this appliance and in the days leading up to it, mil did not stop going on about it and fil also messaged dh to say make sure I said thank you to mil when I went to collect it. I felt this was a bit off as I’d already said thank you, I would have said it again I’m not a child that needs to be reminded and it was something mil didn’t want.

On the day I went to collect it. Mil handed it over and her words were “I offered it to sil first but she didn’t want it so I thought you might as well have it”.

Aibu to not even want to bloody thing now? FWIW it’s a small appliance like a slow cooker that’s worth about thirty quid.

I’ve edited to add mil and fil have form for giving us things then retracting the offer. Twice before they gave us things then demanded them back claiming we’d had them too long. I put it down to forgetfulness at the time.

OP posts:
MeatyMagda · 24/07/2026 13:43

I know everything that I need to know about them solely based on the fact that SIL went round to cook for FIL because his wife wasn't there. Ridiculous humans.

LightningTree · 24/07/2026 13:47

Yes, that is a bit rude. It’s also odd that she offered it to you rather than DH given that she knows he does most of the cooking. I wouldn’t let this upset you though, as that just plays into her game.

Sesquioxides · 24/07/2026 15:16

They sound delightful. I wouldn’t accept anything else from them. I can’t stand people who take back gifts.

ShetlandishMum · 24/07/2026 22:48

Next time refer her to DH. He can deal with her.

HoppityBun · 24/07/2026 23:49

Just get your DH to ask her “Are you going to be wanting this back?”

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