AIBU to think weight loss conversations in the office are unprofessional

[Officechat]

I’m really struggling with something at work and I’m not sure if I’m being overly sensitive or if this genuinely crosses a line.

My office has become completely dominated by weight‑loss chat — not just casual comments, but detailed discussions about procedures they’ve had or are planning, extreme dieting, and very negative body talk. It’s constant. I’m sat there trying to work while listening to women openly hating their bodies, comparing what they’re doing to shrink themselves, and talking about medication requests like Mounjaro as if it’s just another office topic.

I find it genuinely distressing. It’s not the same as reading about weight‑loss trends online — hearing real people around me talk about themselves this way feels heavy and bleak. It’s hard to stay neutral when the atmosphere is so focused on self‑criticism and appearance.

This morning I’d been up since 6:30 cooking lunch for myself, and by the time I got into the office and the conversation started again, I felt physically tense and mentally drained. I even had to force myself to eat because the environment made me feel awful.

Comtext : i have previously had treatment for anorexia which later developed to B + P disorder. I am now considered "recovered" but im finding it really tough. Please note i have used Ai to clarify my thoughts as it was a jumbled mess for my therapy notes.

I personally do not find that comment about the tummy tuck operation to be full of self hate and self loathing. To me, the person who said that didn't like an aspect of their body and took a course of action to change it. I have no issue with that at all, and that sort of comment wouldn't have produced much reaction from me at all other than a moment's interest and curiosity and then I'd have mentally moved on.

I agree. They are allowed to feel how they feel about their own bodies. For example, I am in my mid 40s and the other day one of my colleagues was going on and on about turning 30 and how "old" it made her feel and how its all downhill from there etc. I just nodded along. I am not going to start throwing a tantrum about how that makes me feel as I am even older than her so what does that say about me? because I know it was a throwaway comment about her and it wasnt directed at me.

Unless someone is being directly rude to you, you cannot take every comment so personally because otherwise you will spend your life feeling offended.

One track conversations that are incessant or dominant are not ok, regardless of the subject. Same if you had an office where they talked all the time about Love Island or football or something else.

I think you’re being sensitive due to your history. You could easily say by your logic anything that isn’t work related is unprofessional. People chat at work about non work stuff all the time. Even if you didn’t disclose your recovery id still think you were being sensitive.

I don’t think it’s completely unprofessional as a one off if you’re in the sort of office that talks about those things, but if the chat really is “completely dominated” by it then I can see how that would wear any normal person down, never mind one with a history of related issues.

I used to really dislike it when colleagues went on and on about weight loss. It was so boring and not really something I could join in on as i have tended to be underweight especially if stressed. I don't mind the odd conversation but it did dominate.

People have been discussing dieting at work since dieting and work was invented. And they always will.

that being said given your mental and physical health history you might consider discussing with HR what support they can offer you.

I would still think it is perfectly ordinary work place conversation but your context explains why you have such a strong reaction to it. Put it this way, if you hadn’t had your struggles you would most likely not find it problematic (you will of course say otherwise).

I actually think you’re really unreasonable to ask your boss to try and stop people talking about weight loss. What would be acceptable topics of conversation to you? I bet whatever you come up with, bar the weather, would be uncomfortable to someone.

I maybe the colleagues coukd stop talking incessantly about weight loss and get on with their work. I don't have an eating disorder but did mention that it was a bit boring and excluded me from conversations as I have never dieted

Maybe agree with them once in a while. Omg I'm such a pig, i ate 5 maltesers, look how fat I am, don't you think I'm fat? 'Yeah luv, maybe a bit'. That will shut them up.

Realistically you will need to become self-employed if you want to avoid these conversations in the workplace.
You could possibly try an all-male working environment but that comes with its own troubles.

I don’t think weight loss conversations at work are unprofessional at all but given the context I think it would be kind of your colleagues not to talk about it in front of you.

I presume they know about your challenges? If they don’t then they’re not doing anything wrong at all and tbh even if they do then in all honestly it’s a bit of a you problem although I do get it isn’t much fun for you.

Can you wear earbuds at work and listen to something? I do that when I’m trying to concentrate on something and need to tune out the chatter.

I do wonder if this is actually incessant, or it just feels that way to the op. I actually very much doubt they are sitting there for 8 hours every day saying horrible things about their bodies and not discussing anything else or working.

of course it’s feasible but suspect it’s more it feels like that to the op who is sensitive to any mention;

In the open plan office. We have specific break rooms and a canteent for lunches. Due to nature of the work with phone calls to members of the public in other teams we are not allowed to be having discussions like this on the floor as it can be heard in the recordings of the calls. Complaints were previously made hence the rule but it appears to have fallem by the wayside... its a heavily regulated enviroment - eg my gaps in posting are because my phone is not on my person so i activelt have to be on break / in a private meeting room

I can understand why it may be boring if all the time but I wouldn’t say inappropriate. We talk about a whole host of things in our office. Some people are sharers and others join In but are more private. I don’t think weight loss is an off limits talk as long as no one is being rude about anyone else

And how would you feel if a complaint was made about you saying that?
if someone interpreted you saying “I’ve never had to diet” as “I
perfect and slim and have control over what I eat unlike you disgusting fatties!!” ?

Well if there are rules about any kind of chat on the office floor then that’s a totally separate issue and the topic of the conversation would be irrelevant. Presumably even business specific topics would be an issue if it could still be heard on recordings. So that’s what you could legitimately complain about, that when working in that specific office location there is no chat at all allowed.

Boring and slightly annoying chat but very common. I remember this topic making me feel bad when I was post partum and really struggling with my weight etc. It is what it is, people are allowed to talk about stuff. Personal things are discussed in the office all the time, people are not robots. Not much you can do but I sympathize given your history.

Any conversation is technically unprofessional unless it's about the industry you're in. So that would mean you can't discuss Traitors/quiz shows unless you're in TV etc.
This is slightly different in that it's triggering for you personally. You could quietly ask a manager to tell people not to speak in the office (no wonder people get more work done at home!).

It would be their problem if they interpreted it like that.

It’s bloody tedious and, although I am not blaming women as it’s societal , it makes me fear for people’s intellect. I once had to deal with a client on a project team of all
Women all overweight and always talking about diets they were on. None of them ever looked any different or had lost any weight over the course of probably 18 months.

Groups of women working together and weight loss chat has been a thing forever. Some women are obsessed by it. I find it do weird some people have never experienced this.

OP, I don't have an eating disorder but having grown up in the diet culture of the 1980s I refuse to have weight based conversations. I don't comment on anyone's weight loss/gain or actually make personal comments about how people look at all if I can avoid it. If somebody says they can't eat something because they are being 'good' I don't comment and find another conversation/something else to do.

I am quite into fitness but I equally don't participate in conversations about exercise for weight loss or as a way to eat more, and other than answering questions about where I am going if I leave in gym kit, I don't talk about that either.

I have just opted out of conversations about punitive exercise/dieting/weight loss/how people look. If someone tells me I am being 'good' by going to exercise I say I'm not and that I enjoy it, which is true.

Self loathing is pointless and awful to listen to, and I just don't get involved. Let the diet folk do their thing. Headphones? Change of topic? New job? I do very much feel for you, OP. I don't think you can ask them to stop but you can opt out. If that isn't enough I do wonder if another job would be worth some thought. Your mental health is the most important thing and I could see this not being ideal.

If your colleagues are breaking the rule that these discussions cannot be held on the floor then you should mention it to management to ensure it is enforced again.

On the subject of weight loss conversations, I have not suffered as you have, but I would find it it tedious and mind numbingly boring to hear this all the time and would very probably snap and ask them to change the record. I find it interesting how those who are overweight, dieting, etc., tend to do this and also tend to comment on the weight and eating habits of their colleagues who are not overweight. Of course, no-one is ever allowed to comment on their weight or eating habits, that's a big no-no but they feel free to ram their opinions and details of weight loss on everyone else.

I don't care about your (general your) weight loss journey, your eating routine or anything else related to your weight, I am not interested in the slightest.

Yes, taken to the extreme, but some topics of non -work conversation do fit more comfortably within professional boundaries e.g. the weather, television/music/film/theatre/books, sport, possibly holiday plans.

Some people are more comfortable than others sharing personal information but the comfort of listeners should also be relevant!

There is a difference between e.g. sharing that you have a family and sharing very personal information about those family members.

Also a difference between sharing that you had a lovely lunch at the weekend and sharing the details of your weight loss or cosmetic surgeries!

I take on board that perhaps my circumstances are making me unreasonable in this scenario although i wish id left that context out as ive since had other team membere complain about it without this context
weight loss is dull and i hate that it governs some of us so horrifically. Anywhoo it wont be an issue any longer as i've found a suitable resolution. Hope you all have a good weekend