AIBU to think that my DH has ADHD?

[Sam9769]

I recently read an online post that made me think that my DH has ADHD and was wondering what you think and if you think he has, what your experiences of dealing with this is and the symptoms you noticed?

The reasons I think he has it are as follows:
Drops things a lot.
Can't leave the house without having to run back inside having forgotten his phone, wallet etc
Is forgetful
Leaves it to the last minute to leave the house when he is due to attend an appointment even if he had plenty of time before to leave in good time.
Can't seem to plan to do jobs around the house and even if he has decided to do a job won't get the materials he needs until I arrange it.
Will often not finish a job and will certainly not be proactive if something needs to be done around the house.
In fact if things need to be done he will happily live with it until he has no option but to fix it.
However if I organise things and say I need you to do this job today or tomorrow he will do it and do a good job
I often feel that he lives in the moment and really doesn't think of things that need to be done until he is directed to it.
I used to think that he had a case of "couldn't be arseditis" but now I'm not so sure....

I’m all that but I can also hyperfocus. It’s more of an attention disorder than deficit. I use lots of tools- timers, alarms and routines. What does DH think? Can you see any signs in other family members?

Maybe but why does it matter?

Well you know him. But the only person who can diagnose it is a psychiatrist. Diagnosis in adults isn't always especially helpful.

When you ask him if he thinks he has it, what does he say?

My partner said they thought I had it. And my mum didn't seem surprised either when I was diagnosed. She said she thought my dad was ND. But they didn't really have ADHD as a concept until the 90s, and even then it was only for 'naughty boys'.

This

I know I have ADHD as the diagnosis has significantly stretch to include just about 25% of the population nowadays, if not more.

I probably wouldn't have met it 45 years ago because I was never disruptive and it was the only criteria that warranted a referral at the time.

A diagnosis nowadays means nothing more than confirming we're in the 25 percent.

Maybe I should ask my GP to officially write to me to confirm that I'm left handed?

Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn’t sound hugely out of the broad brush that is just being slapdash. I do a lot of that stuff and I don’t have ADHD: I’m just a bit lazy, prefer to do things I find enjoyable than things I don’t, and don’t have massively high domestic standards.

I guess if can be frustrating to live with when you’re a couple with somewhat different personalities, standards and approaches to what needs to be done and when; does it genuinely create problems for him in his life which he doesn’t feel in control of and which he himself wishes he could do differently but just doesn’t seem to be able to make happen?