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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say something sarcastic?

13 replies

PollyBananarama · 24/07/2026 09:49

Ok bit of an odd one. There’s a woman in my town, has kids but different ages to mine, I hadn’t ever spoken to her or really known who she was until one day she knocked on my door. Her car had broken down outside my house and her phone had died and she was a bit flustered as she was supposed to be going to to work … anyway I let her in to call her husband. He didn’t reply so we googled his work place and rang there. They said they’d pass on a message with my number. I made us tea and biscuits while we waited. I was working from home but couldn’t just leave her stranded so later requested it count as an early lunch and did an extra half hour at the end of the day. She was with me about an hour and a half in all, we got on well, had a nice chat, and I even added her on Facebook at her suggestion.

So. Since then she has blanked me. I’ve seen her many times, as is common in our small town. We’ve even walked right past each other on the same pavement. I’ve looked at her (expecting to say “hi!”) and she’s kept her head down. I’m not imagining it, it’s happened multiple times. After realising she doesn’t want to speak to me I’ve accepted it, I find it a bit weird but whatever.

She accepted me on Facebook but no contact. It’s fine, I don’t need a friend, but I find it rude to ignore me after I helped her. I cannot think of anything I said that could scare someone off. No politics no controversial topics.

Anyway, I’ve just learned on Facebook that she has a new job in a shop in town. This is a shop I like to go to now and then to buy gifts for people. It’s the kind of place where there is only one staff member at a time and they always say hi and smile. What would you do/say if you were in my shoes and go into that shop when she’s working? Something sarcastic? She’ll have to acknowledge me then surely?

OP posts:
RocksByThePool · 24/07/2026 09:51

You don't give her any further headspace at all. You go in, shop, leave.

3luckystars · 24/07/2026 09:52

Absolutely not. You have no idea what’s going on. You did a good deed move on.

He could have beat the crap out of her, she might be embarrassed, she might have that thing where you never recognise people’s faces.

Do not say anything sarcastic. You are obviously a lovely kind woman, don’t let others behaviour change you. Ever.

Lexy2345 · 24/07/2026 09:53

Why don't you ask her why she's not talking to you?

ThePeppyOpalScroller · 24/07/2026 09:53

"Hi, sorry, can I use your phone, my car has broken down"

ChalkOutlines · 24/07/2026 09:56

I’d say she was probably embarrassed as fuck and wanted to pretend it never happened, and by extension, she doesn’t “know “ you. Some people are like that.

Some people struggle with recognising faces/people, especially if she was flustered, in a heightened situation.

Or she’s just a dick, but as long as she’s professional and polite if/when she’ll be serving you , keep it at that.

Loulou4022 · 24/07/2026 09:58

I’d just go on and say hi, she may be wondering why you’ve not spoken to her?

AwayWiththeGoblins · 24/07/2026 09:59

I am a deeply unmelodramatic person, but I once created an entire psychological drama after a woman I had once had a very nice chat to in the village park (to the point where I’d contemplated asking for her number with the idea that we might have a coffee, as I was new to the area) afterwards completely blanked me. I had in jest said something that tuned out to apply to her (an inadvertent reference to an educational institution) and was afraid I’d really insulted or incensed her, even though she laughed at the time when I’d apologised profusely.

Turned out a year or more later when I’d got to know other people locally, that she had severely impaired vision. Not to the point of using a cane, but she couldn’t drive, her reading was audiobooks, and she would only have been able to recognise a face within very close range. When I thought she’d blanked me, she just hadn’t seen me. I had created this whole internal drama of insult and offence out of nothing.

I’d not give it another thought, OP. Certainly not say anything sarcastic.

user784970 · 24/07/2026 10:04

No, dont be sarcastic. Just go in, pay and leave and be civil. Thats all.

I totally get why you are upset but this could be nothing to do with you. I recently reconnected with someone I havent seen for years and then something really stressful happened in my life and I havent got back to them yet. They are probably wondering why, but I just dont have the emotional headspace to have to explain it all to someone I havent seen for like, 20 years, and am no longer close to. So much has happened in 20 years it just feels exhausting to go through it all. Anyway, point is, this is likely nothing at all to do with you and its stuff going on with her.

Inmyuggs · 24/07/2026 10:04

Go into the shop
Forget the reasoning or why she is not talking to you.
Humans.. we are strange creatures.

nomas · 24/07/2026 10:07

She needed you and used you in that moment.

Take control of the situation by removing her from your Facebook, deleting her number and walking past her without eye contact next you run into her.

Similarly if you go into the shop, go in and act like you’ve never met.

Ponoka7 · 24/07/2026 10:08

Why would you target her at work? Going straight to sarcasm is also a strange choice. I'd try to avoid going in when she's in, but that's just me. Unfriend her on FB and move on. There could be a host of reasons why she's blanked you. As much as I'd often like more friends, I just don't have time and then it gets awkward.

Ethelspagetti · 24/07/2026 10:18

I’d return the same vibe and just go into the shop and speak to her like you would a normal worker. My childhood best friend’s dad got a new job working at my grandmas care home. I said hello how are you?! He looked embarrassed and disappeared?! It was really bizarre. My husband thought I’d got him confused with someone else. I asked a member of staff if it was Alan? They confirmed it is and his new role there as maintenance guy. I couldn’t believe how rude he was to me! I messaged my friend to say I’d seen him and she replied yes he is working there! Next few times I went and he hid from me! People are weird! I think he was embarrassed as he lied to get the job as he is only a qualified painter and decorator?! And didn’t want me asking questions?! Who knows! You are a lovely person, don’t ever change. This is a them problem, not a you problem!

JLou08 · 24/07/2026 10:29

Why didn't you just say hi? I'm in my own world when I'm out sometimes and don't see who's around me. I've got a friend who looked right at me and didn't acknowledge me once when I waved at her across the street so I called her name, she didn't have her contacts in so hadn't seen me.

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