AIBU to hope long term bowel and bladder symptoms can improve?

[onarollercoaster]

Hi everyone,
I’m hoping for some reassurance or success stories because I’m feeling really overwhelmed.
For the last six years I’ve had ongoing bowel and bladder problems. Looking back, it all seemed to start around COVID. I was in a very stressful, emotionally abusive relationship at the time, and I got into the habit of holding my bowel movements because I didn’t feel comfortable or relaxed enough to go. That gradually turned into constipation, and over time I started developing constant bladder irritation and the feeling that I always needed the toilet.
Since then, it’s felt like one thing has fed into another. The constipation seemed to make my bladder symptoms worse, and now I honestly can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel like I needed the loo for either my bladder or my bowel. It’s become my normal, and I’m exhausted.
I’ve had blood tests, stool samples and urine tests, and they’ve all come back normal. I’m currently waiting for an abdominal ultrasound scan.
One thing that gives me hope is that if I’m 100% strict with my diet (eating really clean and avoiding foods that trigger me), my symptoms improve noticeably. They don’t disappear completely, but there is definitely an improvement, which makes me wonder if there is something functional going on rather than something sinister.
I’ve recently left the six-year emotionally abusive relationship, and if I’m honest, I put getting all of this properly investigated on the back burner for far too long because I was just trying to survive day to day. Now that I’m out, I’m finally trying to get to the bottom of it, but I’m also terrified.
I’m so mentally and physically exhausted from constantly managing my symptoms and planning my life around toilets. I’m scared that this is just how my life will be forever.
Has anyone else had years of bowel and bladder symptoms that eventually improved or resolved? Did you ever find the cause? I’d really appreciate hearing any success stories because my anxiety is through the roof at the moment, and I could really do with some hope.
Thank you so much for reading. ❤️

I have had a lot of issues in these departments
And it took me many years to go to the doctor
Bowel wise I am on some powder you mix with water and it gives me the shits ,can't trust a fart on it .
So I can't always tolerate It ,and sometimes just take 2 senna
The more I drink the more it helps my bowel .
But obviously the more I drink the more I wee
Bladder wise ,id spent years thinking I had damage from birth of my last child
On examination I didn't and it was overactive bladder syndrome,which I'm now on medication for .
I also thought the bowel issues were from the last birth to
But seems it was long term constipation
Really wish I'd gone to the doctor's years ago .
My entire life rotated around toilets ..if there was a toilet,I was fine ,relaxed and didn't think about it
If there wasn't,I would cancel the plans
Before medication for bladder I was using the loo ,more than once every hour
Now on the medication it's about 5 big wees a day
No idea how that compares to other people,I'm just glad it's not every hour any more .
I also have OCD , autism and ADHD..these have definitely contributed to these toilet issues, because my brain just hyper focused on toilets and that made me constantly try to wee ,when I didn't need to
The trick is to not keep emptying your bladder with only a little wee in ..
So when we were little and encouraged to wee when we didn't need to ,that was setting our bladder up to recognise the feeling of small amounts of wee and our brain then felt we needed the toilet.
When we need to only wee when the bladder has a decent amount of wee in .
Otherwise we will always feel like we need a wee ,when only a tiny bit comes out ,as was happening with me ,weeing every hour

Best thing to do op
Is get thee to the doctor's for examination and good discussion.
Best thing I did

The bowel issue due to holding it in - it could be related to your pelvic floor. You can look for a physiotherapist who specialises in pelvic floor dysfunction and consult with them (privately) or discuss with your GP if this is something you can get on the NHS.

The pelvic floor issue can also affect bladder function so it would be worth ruling it in or out.

You can also get more bladder testing done if you haven't had a cystoscopy and a urodynamic study done. So I would push for a referral to a Urologist or a Urogynaecologist. There is a diet for Interstitial Cystitis (AKA bladder pain syndrome) which might be similar to what you're avoiding. So you could have a Google of that and see. Also, as part of the treatment for overactive bladder can be bladder training, which again you can Google and try yourself.

More generally - relating to the impact of long-term abuse/trauma on your body. I recommend reading or listening to The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk.

You might find looking into somatic therapy helpful. It is something I want to investigate myself at some point. I am convinced that a lot of the trauma I experienced due to SA/DV is stored in my body, and that somehow I must be able to clear this with the correct guidance.

OP I hear you! I’m sorry you are going through this. I had issues with my bladder about 18months ago. Constantly needing the loo, kept feeling like I had a UTI. It felt worse if I was constipated. I cut out caffeine which for me was the main trigger and apart from the occasional flare I’ve been fine for about a year. I hope your symptoms improve x

We can self refer to a continence clinic, it’s really good. Are you walking and drinking plenty? Both have an impact. It’s good you are having investigations but you also need to keep to good habits thst eventually train your bladder nd bowel to behave better.

I just remembered as well , someone said up thread about caffeine,to cut out ,which I forgot to mention really helps me ,but also fizzy drinks ,the sweeteners ,I'm pretty sure would constantly irritate my bladder as well ,and I just drink decaf now if I have a hot drink ,or fizzy water if I want fizzy .. definitely helps me cutting those things out x