AIBU to stay part time rather than earn another £30k?

[Snecco]

I work in a corporate job and am well paid, but with COL, large mortgage, DC in independent school is meaning I don’t have much money left and am always running worryingly close to the line with my finances. This makes me quite nervous and insecure.

I went down to 4 days a week about a year ago because I was struggling with stress, and it’s made a positive impact. At the time it was sensible as it was one of the ways I (just about) kept my taxable earnings under the £100k threshold.

I’ve since had a job change and a notable pay rise. I’m now not able to stay under the threshold and have worked out I could, by going back full time, increase my income by >£30k and potentially afford independent senior school too. We are in a grammar school area, so we are considering both options but at the moment a good independent senior school is looking beyond our income level.

AIBU to not take this up if I could increase my salary by this amount? I feel on one hand like I am being selfish and I need to toughen up. On the other hand, I have felt so much better and able to cope with life working part time. So as not to drip feed, my DH works long hours and can’t take up any more slack at home. He also earns well.

I am in a very similar position. I temporarily did the step up for extra money on an interim basis recently & concluded I'm not giving up the flexibility. The extra money isnt worth it for how stressed & run ragged we were as a family.

@Shatenoeuf were you giving up something specific by making this decision?

Hopeful bump

i d work the extra day anyway as most 4 days a week gigs end up expecting 5 days output.

schools is a separate topic. if he can in the grammar and you like it do that.

If you are happy stick with 4 days

If you work the 5 days it sounds like your stress levels will go up and you’ll spend the extra money anyway.
That said the plus side is your child can go to a private school.
People make much bigger sacrifices to get their kids a good education.

I am in a similar position in terms of good job but high COL. I would be too stressed to enjoy the day off knowing that I could be working and earning that much more. But that is my personality.

It is a different job so might be less stressful I'd stick to the grammar school option but do it for a year or two and put all the extra money into my pension pot. Obviously if you already have a huge pot you might not consider this.

I think for your future you should go back up to full time, and then drop a day again later on.

I’m in my late 50s and no kids at home and only just starting to think I’ll drop a day. We have a cleaner that helps.

I’m a high earner and those extra days means I have a good pension pot and savings. So does dh and no plans to split. But it’s a good feeling knowing I have independent money.

can’t help you on the grammar independent school.

I’d prioritise your mental health and spending time with your DS over anything and everything else.

Theirs and your health (physical and mental) is more important than anything. If he’s not able to get a grammar school place (how realistic is that?) then you need to look carefully at your current spending and work out what can be reduced and if it’s enough to cover secondary school fees (which are likely to continue to increase quite substantially year on year).

You can't buy back your time or your mental health.

Its a difficult one, stress shouldnt be mininised but I can see the lure of the extra money. Personally i would keep to 4 days, you are not on the breadline or going without necessities

You won’t get the time back so stick to 4 days. Presumably you get to spend more time with your child on your day off as they don’t need breakfast and after school club? That time is precious.

You both earn extremely well anyway. You literally don’t need the extra money for a good life.

i think factor in all the potential new taxes coming your way - if you are in England and talking about going from £120k to £150k, once you get over £125k you hit the 45% bracket and your personal allowance has gone so your marginal tax is much higher . If Burnham brings in a 50% rate, it will be even worse.

£100k to £125,140 - your marginal tax rate is about 62% with NI

£125,140 to £150k - it’s about 47%

I’m just about to take a 20K pay cut to go part time and I cannot wait. Health, wellbeing and more family time are worth a lot more. I’m a single parent so this has been a huge decision for me but I know it’s the right one. Things will be a bit tighter and the reality is I’ll have 1K less a month coming in but I’m exhausted. The holidays, the mindless tapping of the debit card, the thoughtless online shopping will all need to be adjusted but that’s fine. I can pay the bills, buy food and essentials, there will still be holidays etc but I’ll be less tired, more organised and less resentful of my very busy job. I’m 46 and have worked full time since I was 23, DD went to nursery at 10 months old. All this has enabled me to be in a well paid role so I don’t regret it and I’m now in a position to take a step back. I’ll be earning 68K but only working for 33 weeks of the year. I ultimately feel very lucky to be in this position.

I think yabu because an extra 30k just the one day extra a week means you could pay for help to ease things at home. It's so much money. Or are you rich anyway and that wouldn't make a difference to you?

Ultimately - many parents - mostly women but - plenty of men too - do keep their hours restricted below their full potential in order to be parents - to be there for some of the times they would otherwise miss and let's face it because life admin and childcare is very hard to juggle.

My husband dropped a day and pay - it isn't only a feminist issue - it shouldn't be anyway.

I honestly think keep that day off - that's playdates/ picking your kid up/ being able to be at the school gate sometimes/ knowing your neighbours more/ having time at home to keep on top of life.

We are all rushing through life - take a bit of time to smell the flowers!

@DogGawn I’d be over that threshold if full time, this is part of what makes it a difficult situation in some ways!

If you don’t have much money left on over £100k why bother stretching yourself to send them to an Indy you can’t really afford?

Send them to state, enjoy your life!

Would working full time but buying in more help at home be an alternative solution? Perhaps even a nanny housekeeper who will cook, clean, do school runs and wrap around care for (presumably older primary age) DC?

Especially if it will mean you can concentrate full time on the new job and not be at risk of trying to cram a full time job into 4 days for 80% pay? More will go into your pension that way too.

Because getting the best possible education I can afford for DC is very important to me.