Summer holidays with tricky 4 year old

[flobo3]

4 year old is going through a bit of a phase at the moment. Lots of hyperactive behaviour which is in her character and is normal, but bad behaviour too. Screaming, demanding, tantrumming. Today I took her and my older dc to an NT place and she was fine for a while but then got a grump on because the park was busy and she couldn’t get on everything she wanted. Everytime I tried to guide her somewhere else she screamed at me and threw herself down crying. Older dc were embarrassed and pissed off and after a while actually asked to come home.

Another tantrum on the way out as I wouldn’t allow 4 year old to have an ice cream due to behaviour. I had warned her and she carried on so felt I had to follow through with this.

This is a common thing at the moment. I try to have plenty of chill time so she doesn’t get overtired and overwhelmed during the holidays with activities but it is sad that days out get spoilt. I do try to calm her down and distract in the moment but sometimes it passes a point where I can’t do anything with her and it’s not nice being in public with her acting like that. Back home now and she’s fine so maybe it was just a bit much for her. I don’t want the whole of the holidays to look like this. We go abroad soon and I don’t want it to spoil that either. Does anyone have advice?

Bump

I clicked YANBU but really it’s not fair on your older kids. Has her behaviour always been like this, any ND traits? Does she want to go on holiday?

I think big days out can be really overwhelming for small children - maybe stick to low-key activities for now and take the older DC out separately if possible?

Yeah my 5 year old is the same. Thankfully we have a huge garden so we're spending all our time outside with loads of slides and paddling pools and bikes. He needs to be moving constantly or he kicks off just for something to do. I'm avoiding places where he actually needs to follow rules or do as he's told ATM as it's just setting him and me up for failure. We're just letting him free play and maintaining basic human decency rules.

I'm 30 odd weeks pregnant, with him and a 1yo and DH is working the entire summer holidays bar a couple of long weekends he's booked with his leftover leave.

Lower expectations and just survive the phase.

Agree that days out in busy places can be hard for younger children. I wouldn’t call it naughty behaviour that needs punishment of no ice cream. It’s just overwhelm and tiredness due to end of nursery/school and change of routine. If you can’t leave her at home with Dad or relative then I’d just be slacker on rules to get through the day.

I agree it’s unfair on older kids. But I can’t exactly leave her at home, Dh is working and I’m only part time so on my days off it’s just me and the kids. She hasn’t always been like this, her behaviour has definitely got worse over the past few weeks. No ND issues flagged by nursery.

Flat out saying no to me, screaming in my face and tantrumming over nothing isn’t good behaviour and I get it could be overwhelm but I’m not over loading activities it was just meant to be some chilled outdoor time in the park. I’m at a loss of how to manage it other than remove her from the situation.

Regarding the holiday she is excited to go but I’m worried about what the behaviour will be like when we’re there