AIBU to think child maintenance rules seem unfair in this situation?

[Anon1216]

My son is 7 and I broke up with his dad 6 years ago. In that time I have received £60 in total from his dad. I have never asked for a penny.

A month or 2 ago I submitted a child maintenance claim. I’m meant to receive my first payment… £112, in a week. Today I received an email from CMS saying he is now in receipt of benefits and therefore owes nothing. He works and earns £25k, unless he has quit/lost his job but he was recently promoted!

AIBU to think what a joke? I’ve received £60 in 6 years and the moment I ask for something towards our son he does this. I’m surprised he’s entitled to anything!

Morning. If he's on benefits he should still be paying something. I currently get £7.50 a week for two teenagers. Also shouldn't CMS backdate the claim to when it started? keep on at them, sometimes you have to be persistent.
Good luck x

CMS will believe anything the paying parent tells them. If you know he’s working you need to tell them.
My ex told them he earned 1p….they believed him. It’s ridiculous.

Report him for benefit fraud.

Yea it’s very unfair, a stupidly run system and facilitates deadbeat men to be arseholes, while their children live in poverty.

I bet he’s laughing and having a great day.

You can appeal the decision I believe. Meanwhile, get as much evidence as you can about him working, and if your appeal fails (which they usually do the first time), you can ask for a mandatory reconsideration, and they have to look into your appeal again.
This happened to me a few years ago, so I assume rules are unchanged, and I went all the way to Tribunal and won.
The only difference is I could prove where my ex worked, and I understand you say your ex is on benefits, but, as I say, if you can provide evidence of any employment he has, or the lifestyle he's leading, you may well be able to convince the CMS that your ex is working cash in hand even, (which comes under unearned income.

Don't give up! I didn't, even though it was frustrating at times, and I came out the winner in the end.

If he is in receipt of disability related benefits (even if working) he will be exempt.

Ridiculous system. In my country they have access to tax records so no use lying about income, they see exactly what you earn (except for cash in hand but its unwise for people to work primarily cash in hand here because unemployment benefits and pension are linked to your taxable income so low official income means bare minimum benefits and no pension)

OP I would find all the evidence you can of how much he earns and appeal the decision.

Is this a government or state agency? I have only ever heard complaints about them here, never a good word. That’s disgraceful.

Thank you all. I will definitely be phoning them and doing everything that I can.

It’s not even about the money, fortunately I can provide for my son by myself. It’s about the principle and the fact I continue to be expected to pay for everything. Dad sees our son 7 days a month. My career is on hold so that I can do the school runs etc. meanwhile he had a promotion not so long ago.

What I don’t understand is a month ago they confirmed all of his details. I provided his work details as I know where he works. They confirmed how much he was earning, calculated and confirmed how much he should pay and now this! Also, he pays for another child and has done for 13 years so they already have all his details. He doesn’t have any disabilities unless one has sprung out of nowhere.

It wouldn’t surprise me if he has quit his job just so he doesn’t have to pay for either child as he was also wanting to get a council house. But I’m not sure if he’d be entitled to any benefits if he quit? What a joke of a man! I didn’t think he would stoop so low. I’m inclined to send him the bill for the summer holiday clubs and ask him to pay half! That will work out a lot more than the £112 he was meant to be paying me this month!

Unfortunately when I applied it said they can’t back date claims. But I will be asking about this when I phone. This is not the kind of male role model I want for my son!

£7.50 a week for two teenagers is outrageous. If the government thinks that’s all he can pay they should be topping up what he isn’t paying because there’s no way 2 teenagers cost £70 a month!

I don’t understand. Why did you “not ask for a penny” for six years? That’s your DC money and it’s your responsibility to claim it.

I was more interested in keeping the peace, and too soft! I earn double what he does and felt sorry for him as he struggles with money. I also saw him having our son most weekends as his contributions as weekends can be expensive.. but most of the time he doesn’t doing with him! Overtime though I’ve felt taken advantage off and slowly got fed up of it. He was given £5k last year which he was meant to spend on moving as his flat is a mess, but instead he’s blown it! He’s had multiple opportunities to better himself/his situation but thinks like a man child with no responsibilities!
I’m not too fussed about the last 6 years, that’s been and gone and is my fault for being too soft!

I would ask for a reconsideration.

If he’s on benefits he should be paying £7 per week. The only time that would be lowered to nil would be if he had priority debts being taken from his benefits already.

The other thing is you need to make sure there hasn’t been an error with him receiving non-means tested benefits - if he receives pip or contributions based ESA and works alongside them then he should not be paying the set £7 rate. That only applies to income based benefits, but the training for CMS staff isn’t brilliant and sometimes the questions asked are unclear (“are you receiving any benefits?” for example).

I’ve always been ready to catch him almost. As in, it was always in the back of my mind that if he ended up homeless (because he doesn’t pay his bills), I would have to be there to take him in. I was even considering re-mortgaging and buying a flat to rent to him at a cheap rate so I knew he was secure. I feel a mug but have always wanted to put my son’s interests first. Then he does this!

What??! Why does a disability make someone exempt from looking after their child?

Perhaps it's for the best he did this now and opened your eyes before you put yourself out there for him (financially) in a way that 99% of women would not even consider.

If I stole from a shop, it’s a crime, but men can do this to their own children and it’s not punishable at all. Bonkers!

Thank you, that’s really helpful. He will definitely have debts. I will ask about the non means tested benefits. I’m not sure how much they will be able to tell me?

it’s all just a bit fishy that he’s now suddenly receiving benefits.

Errr no .... the tax payer shouldn't be picking up more of the bill because he's a deadbeat

Just ask for a reconsideration based on the employment information and say you do not believe he’s receiving non-means tested benefits that mean he should pay the £7 a week rate.

if he does qualify for the £7 rate unfortunately there are multiple things that are treated as a priority debt before CM. Council tax is the most common one, then electricity. They’re only allowed to take a certain amount from benefits so once it hits that limit all other debts, including CM, get told ‘no can do’.

Re the fishy timing - from working with CMS briefly on two occasions it’s amazing the number of men who suddenly quit their jobs, whose self employed income drops drastically, who end up on benefits or who suddenly become SAHP (especially common in self employed businesses where their partner swaps from SAHP to plumber/electrician/business owner overnight) just as a claim is processed.

Its equally amazing how many suddenly go back to work, go back to a high salary, and whose businesses boom as their obligations end. 🙄

Mines just decided to up his pension as high as he can to pay less.

It won't take place until next year though, I hope.

Not asking for money for 6 years is not putting your son first...

Why would you have to take him in if was made homeless?

You sound awfully up to date with all his financial dealings and his life...

@Anon1216 there dad is on benefits due to life long mental health issues. We still see him regularly and he helps out when he can x

Wow that’s terrible! They shouldn’t be able to get away with it!