AIBU to feel overwhelmed three weeks postpartum with a toddler and newborn?

[Babyno2jul]

Can anyone tell me if this is normal 3 weeks pp or if I need to reach out to anyone?

I have just had my second baby and I’m feeling completely overwhelmed. I already have a 3 year old DS.

I had an awful pregnancy 9 months of HG and high risk, c section and (understandably) sleepless nights with baby since then.

I am starting to wonder if I did the right thing or if I can cope with baby no2. My DH goes back to work in a couple of days and I’m nervous about being home with the both of them. My toddler is a lovely little boy but very clingy and jealous of baby.

It is so hard going back to the newborn days and I forgot how tough they were.

Can anyone reassure me that this feeling is normal or should I be in the bubble still at 3 weeks pp.

Definitely normal to feel overwhelmed. It is hard work!! I have a 6 month old and a 2.5 year old and those early weeks were full on, much easier now.

Do you have any friends or family around to support? Take any support you can! My baby lived in the sling for about 3 months - my back was in pieces

Hello
Of course YANBU. Its a tough time. Do you have anyone (friend/relative) who could perhaps take your 3 year old for even a couple of hours ? What about nursery for him?

Thank you, I thought it was normal but my brain needing some reassurance. My biggest worry is them needing me at the same time or what if baby wakes for a feed at the same time my toddler wakes for the day! My head is spiralling but I know I need to give myself some time to adjust!

He attends nursery but is off for 8 weeks during the summer. We do have in laws and my parents that could help out here and there x

Totally normal. I've a 15 month old and a 3 month old. It's so hard but you are doing great. I had a traumatic emergancy csrction 15 months before my now 15 month old was born, lost my twins that week. Stillbirth and nicu death hence why i had my next two babies so close. I totally get it. You didnt make the wrong decision. Its just so hard juggling both. When one finally sleeps, the other is screaming. But the rewards are huge and you will see the light. Dont be so hard on yourself. Give it time. You are still very early postpartum and csections are no joke.

Yanbu, it's really hard! You will find your rhythm. Do you have a basket of activities your toddler can do while you feed the baby? That was a tip I learned on here and worked well for me. Special sticker book, a few toy animals, a hand puppet (!) and an apple/some raisins went in mine and it worked well. I also used to do hide and seek whereby I would hide 10-20 toys around the room that I was feeding in and he'd find them during a feed. My advice in the immediate term is always have the going out bag packed so the moment it feels overwhelming you can get out and get some fresh air, make sure you have a comfortable carrier, don't be afraid of using the the TV here and there and make sure to drink lots of water! In no time at all you'll have found your rhythm and things will feel lighter.

Gosh op it’s SO hard. When I had my youngest I remember someone said to me- If they both need you go to the one in danger or something like that… so it was basically always the toddler. The baby can cry as long as it’s safe but the toddlers needs are usually more “urgent”. It does get easier! I’d arrange to go out on your first day solo just so you have to get out- jrs 100% easier parenting outside of the house!xx