Friends kids are hard work

[Sunflowerpower52]

Its really difficult, and I feel bad about it, their kids are just hard work.

Anyone else have this? How do you deal with it.

Ages 9 and 7, very spoilt no boundaries, never listen when its a very important instruction, tantrums and screaming matches, they hit their mother, they storm off and shout at her, break stuff, their is no bedtime routine they stay up until whenever. If you have them for an hour they wreck your house, demand to eat everything you have or ask to go else where to Mc Donalds, they say they are bored when they don't get their own way. It makes it hard sometimes to want to be around them. I once took them out for 2 hours they made me daughter cry by leaving her constantly and running off, stressing us both out in a public place as I didnt want to loose them, and then demanded I take them to McDonald's and get them something from the gift shop!

Just don’t see them?

Just don’t offer to look after them? Ask to see your friend for an adult coffee instead of play dates.

The answer is to stop spending time with them.

Also talk to your friend about them hitting her, this needs to be tackled.

Sounds perfectly normal to me. I don't have kids, and everyone else's kids are hard work to me.

Have you tried not taking them out or having them? Works wonders for me.

Just avoid. Life is too short. See your friend without them.

Just don't spend time with them. Not worth it.

Don’t take them out or spend time with them?

OP why didin't you just say not to it all then, no one is forcing these children on to you

Obviously you don’t see them.

You know you do have a choice who you spend time with?

Yeah ive ended friendships because of this its not even the kids that are annoying its the lack of parenting that is either meet your friend at non kid places or end the friendship

I wouldn't be friends with someone who has children then raises them badly like that. It's such a disservice to the unfortunate children, who don't deserve shit parents.

So I would stop getting in touch, definitely wouldn't offer to babysit the children, and tell her exactly why if she starts asking.

Only the parent has the power to make things change in this situation, not you.

I would never agree to look after them if they acted like that and I would be very honest why. “Unfortunately, I can’t trust that they will follow my instructions and my DD gets upset when they run away from her so I can’t babysit.” They sound like permissive parents so it will be hard work to bring the kids back from this.

I generally don’t love other people’s kids. They’re hard work and mostly annoying. I don’t agree with the way other people parent sometimes so I have to bite my tongue. I realise that others most likely feel like that about my kids though.

This. I think other parents can have different rules but I would be saying to the children that while they are in my home they follow our rules. If they can't do that then they are not welcome. I would arrange public playdates where their parent is also present to supervise and run after their own unruly children.

How to deal with it? Don't have anything to do with them. Stop looking after them, stop having play dates, no outings with them. Only meet your friend for adult time when the kids are elsewhere. Zero tolerance of bad behaviour. If your friend notices, tell her why.

Did you take them to McDonald’s and the gift shop ?
Just don’t see them or if you do then take them home as soon as they start to act out. My own children annoy me sometimes so other peoples’ would be torture in these circumstances. Why didn’t you tell her what they do when they’re with you? My son had a friend in P1 who kicked at me when I was putting them both in the car. Needless to say it was the last time I ever took him out. He’s still an arrogant little shit.

My friend's kids were a bit like this so l used to meet up when they were all at school - kept the friendship without the hassle. They are better now they are a bit older but l still spend as little time as possible with them.

I dont take my friends children anywhere. If it was an exceptional circumstance eg attend a funeral or hospital appointment i might but would definitely be unusual.

If our kids get on we tske them out places together. For friends with kids at different ages or interests to mine we meet without kids.

Stop seeing these kids. Listen if your friend needs to vent about them.

Don’t make your daughter spend time with horrible people who upset her. Why on earth would you? You’re being worryingly passive by tolerating their behaviour when it’s affecting your child.

I voted YABU as you should not subject your own DD to this behaviour .They sound rude ,entitled and spoilt!