Been with partner over 14 years ( not married) and have a son of 9 years. His family are very much and always have lived in each others pockets always need to know what’s going on, have a family WhatsApp group whereas I’m closed to my mum and dad but don’t see a lot of my brother/ SIL/ nieces due to shift patterns. I have always have an awkward relationship with his mum which escalated when our son was born. She interfered from the start turned up at the hospital, turned up at stupid o’clock at our house when we’d asked for family time off our own and kicked off when she got told by myself, kicked over her sisters not being invited to sons christening even though it was a small do at our house mainly friends, name calling, mentioning of my weight after son was born, the list goes on. Got severe post natal depression after my son and still taking the same medication 9 years later. The cherry on top of the cake was at my son’s 3rd birthday celebration at her mums house when she said I needed to have another baby and if I didn’t I was selfish.
Spoke to my partner regarding all this but he never really stuck up for me, more protected his mums feelings than mine. I got pregnant not long after sons 3rd birthday and felt I couldn’t go through with it as thought all this would happen again with his mums interfering so had an abortion which I now regret and wish I’d stood up for myself and kept the baby. Partner wasn’t and still isn’t much support, always seems to be his family and their feelings put first.
If it’s one of their birthdays and there’s a meal, everything has to be dropped even if we have plans for him to go. Looking for advise how to go forward with this as feel nothing will change