To ask for inspiring stories from people who’ve changed their lives?

[DIYdiv]

Late 40s and I feel like for the past few years, every day is the same old routine.

Been working in the same industry forever. I’m no good at it, and am exhausted by the huge anxiety I get when face to face with clients, expected to be an “expert” in what I do etc.

Don’t earn as much as I could and money is definitely not everything but I envy my peers who go on lots of lovely trips/holidays/treat their families/buy lovely clothes all the time. We have one holiday a year we cat barely afford.

My kids are brilliant but my marriage feels more like a co-parenting situation.

I cringe to say it but I dream of being an actor - although I have absolutely zero experience. It’s something I wish I’d pursued at school. To wake up every day to do a job I love, relishing the challenges because I felt I could rise to them and getting a sense of achievement would be amazing. And to earn decent money for it, a bonus. Right now, I feel I hide in my work.

So please inspire me with tales of taking the plunge to make a huge change.

And please, just kindness on this thread - I want to be uplifted!

My advice is that anyone can make a radical change, but it needs to be a well planned one. Don't expect it to happen in a few weeks or months. It needs to be approached as an investment in your future and therefore we'll prepared.

If you are serious about acting then take an evening class or join a local theatre group. I do not think it’s a serious career path even if you have talent. I know quite a few young people who did acting degrees but have had to give up and do something else because there is simply not enough work.

If there any way you can use your existing skill to do something else? Are you a lawyer or other professional? There must be other jobs out there?

Someone I know worked in the Civil Service for decades. Not very high up, middle manager. When she was 48 her husband left and she got divorced. At 50, once her daughter had left Uni, she sold her house and bought a pokey little one bed flat. She used the rest of the money from her house sale to pay for flying training, and is now a first officer flying all across Europe. She can't park her car properly, but apparently can fly a passenger plane . . .

Being an actor is hard, full of disappointments and can be soul destroying. You have to have a very thick skin because constant rejection is absolutely brutal. But when you are working it is absolutely wonderful, just as you say.

If you really want to give it a go take some lessons. Start with a local adults class if you can find one- some youth theatres have an adult class. Then maybe look at an access course, there are a couple in London. If you really want to do it a 3 year drama school course is advisable. Yes, some actors haven't been to drama school but it gives the best chance of success.

Ironically I was an actor and changed my life around by giving up. The relief of not having to constantly chase work was immense. I moved 250 miles away and started a holiday business. I miss the applause and using my brain though!

I advice is to remember that your job doesn't have to be whether you find meaning in your life.

You can absolutely pursue acting because you love it, or because it makes you feel fulfilled, without holding on to the idea it has to be your career.

Thanks all.

I know acting is a completely unstable career. And despite what I said about wanting to earn more money, I really would prefer to do something I love.

Also, I’ve been freelance for many years - I’m on a long term contract not but there was a time when I did lots of short term ones and went from job to job -I know lots of people really fear that sort of unpredictability but I loved it! I loved the spontaneity of not knowing where the next job was coming from. I do accept, however, that I might not have enjoyed it so much if we didn’t have my husband’s salary to fall back on.

But, yes, as a PP said, it could be something I do as a hobby, it doesn’t have to be a job.

I did a 180 at 41. Bout of breast cancer and peri-menopause knocked my head out of shape. I needed a push to change my life.
so I retrained as a carpenter (took three years and many rejections), am divorcing my husband, about to move cities with four children for a fresh start. Have a wonderfully supportive bf. Started lifting heavy and have abs for the first time in my life (although my arse has left the party. )

Im 46 this year and excited for the future.

so it is possible, but hard work, to change it.

I’d say becoming a actor as a career with no experience at your age is very unrealistic. That said you could join local theatre groups just for a hobby and see how it goes or set up your own drama production after taking lessons. It’s not to late in that respect but you need to take the bull by the horns and do it now.

Did Brenda Blethyn not start acting at 40?

Can I ask why you’ve not done it before now, OP? Not as in trying to get into a drama school as a school leaver, but less all-or-nothing stuff like getting involved in am dram, improv, working as an extra, taking evening acting classes?

It’s just that people are always telling me they’d love to be a writer, but they’ve never had time (and it regularly shows up on threads about fantasy careers on here) — but in fact you don’t need much time or equipment or qualifications. Pretty much everyone writes their first book while working FT and with the usual commitments, and most writers maintain another job, anyway. There’s literally nothing stopping someone who wants to write from writing, if they have a notebook and ten minutes a few times a week.

What is it that has stopped you doing some acting in some form? Is this a pipe dream?

Firstly from an outsider’s perspective it sounds like you’re winning at life. You’re in a steady job, good relationship and thriving children.
for the most part you have what most people are striving for.
I suppose I’m saying that as a woman also in her late 40s who blamed all my issues on my partner and we split up our family and it was definitely too much of a nuclear option.

for you, that’s great you’re into drama, I’m sure there must be several amateur dramatic groups around you who would welcome new members. That could be a really brilliant and fulfilling thing to get into.

for me I’ve taken up running which is not anything I was ever interested in, and it’s so great belonging to a club.

I love this - good for you ❤️

Acting is a career for the children of rich people. You have to be able to afford to have no work on, to take low paid roles and have an unstable income. There is plenty of work but you can’t just “become” an actor in your 40s without connections.

What you could do is look at being an extra. This is a lot easier to get into.

Being an extra isn't acting. There is literally no crossover between the two at all. Apart from appearing on a screen.

There really isn't 'plenty of work' for actors. Most successful working actors I know, ie they haven't had to give up and retrain, they have a decent agent, only work 2 or 3 times a year. If it's a nice telly job they can stretch the money out until the next one. If it's theatre then they absolutely can't.

I’m going to sound ridiculously, unrealistically picky but… I did try an acting class a few years ago. It took so much courage for me to try it - but I felt so deflated afterwards. It was very OTT musical theatre-esque. I’m not a huge fan of theatre acting - I love the realism of screen acting. It’s quite hard to find a specific class for that. And I know, I know, my chances of becoming an actor are sooooo slim. But just to give it a go and maybe find something I might be good at would be so fulfilling.

Actor you say? I have so many examples of out of work actors before my eyes, that it makes me wonder how any parent can support a child in their wish to become an actor. Many, many actors work as simulated patients - the embarrassment of it, especially for men during rectal examinations - I often wonder if they imagined it will be like this at their drama studies course?

Well, in that case, if it’s only screen acting that interests you, I’d suggest contacting local art schools or FE colleges or universities with film departments to see if students want actors for visual arts projects. Or just look for different acting classes and be specific about what you’re looking for. (Stage acting doesn’t have to be musical theatre emoting, either. ) Or sign up for extras work.

But it’s obviously easier to get involved in theatre.

ETA there’s a longstanding amateur but serious Shakespeare society local to me, which does two productions a year and has had some excellent directors pass through. One of my neighbours had always dreamed of acting, but never had the opportunities, and joined after he retired from his job as a security guard. He’s played Duncan and Polonius.

So as I said, it really only works as a career choice if you have family money.

Extra work is the compromise and far more realistic than the Op.

@DIYdiv is it acting as a career or is it that you want to find something you can be passionate about? For me, it's definitely the latter. I really feel that I am missing that thing - I really envy people who have something that they are passionate about.

I've always taken the best career option and I've kind of enjoyed it, but I'm not passionate about it and looking at early retirement -and I've never found anything that I'm really passionate about so I certainly couldn't translate it into a job

I know someone who tried running a clothes advisory business because she said that was her passion and she lost a lot of money very quickly! I definitely don't want to do that!

So if you want to get into acting because you need a passion, I would think there are a lot of opportunities that way, but you'd probably have to put time and money and effort into training and not make career money.

From the outside any career can look good

There's no reason why not. I mean the secretary in the West Wing didn't she start her career at 40 or 50 or something? That's a long time ago though.

The ones I know who’ve done it (my dad, not an actor, has been a mock patient a few times, through a friend of mine who used to be manager of the local university’s medical school, so I’ve run into a few) take it seriously as a paying gig, as they do the workplace training videos, extras work or local radio jingle voiceovers. I mean, they make most of their income from temping, retail, bar work etc, so a paying acting gig isn’t to be sneezed at.

Just like many of the writers I know beaver away at writing novels that may not find a publisher or if they do, not sell many copies, because they love it.

Yes, I think it’s that - I want to feel excited and passionate about something.

Thanks to all who gave advice - but back to my original question, does anyone have stories of changing their life? Does not have to be acting related!

I moved from a professional career into my passion gardening in my late 40s. I retrained, started my own business and now have exactly the life I dreamed of.

The rewards hugely outweigh the negatives for me but certainly financially I'm much worse off as I suspect you will be OP.

I had to downsize to do it and where I live now there are many people who did similar to follow a passion and turn it into a way to fund their life, so it is absolutely possible.

What I would say is that doing something like acting or starting your own small business isn't a lifestyle - it is a life. If you are happy to put in the hours (lots), knock on the doors (many) study (three years in my case), do work that isn't 100% your choice for people you might not like (sometimes) and to be living hand to mouth certainly at the outset, then give it a go.

You will need to be very committed and have a lot of luck in acting I think. Is there something else you can do alongside it to give you security whilst you build your new life? I cut grass for two years whilst studying but that was fine, I was outside, in my element and it got me where I was determined to be. Happy days.

I always recommend a book that was recommended on MN years ago. I read it in 2013 and I still reread it every couple of years. How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. You don't necessarily need to take the plunge but rather plan what you need to do and when you need to do it. Since reading it I have become more financially responsible, realised what makes me happy rather than what I think should make me happy, got the house in order, experienced a LOT that I wanted to, got much better at prioritizing - as the title says I am happy 😊

This sounds wonderful