AIBU to feel upset he prioritised friends over seeing me?

[ThisHappyRubyBird]

So been seeing someone for two years ish. He cancelled seeing me yesterday and offered next Wednesday instead. AIBU to be upset . He had a busy week and won’t cancel his other plans with friends this weekend to see me

But is that what you want, a thrice-weekly arrangement to watch TV and have sex with a a man who sounds very routine-bound? It sounds mind-numbingly dull to me, but obviously your mileage may vary. I mean, do you really want to waste three nights of a week of your valuable time when you could be doing something fun?

That is a good point and probably part of the problem

It's not "two years ish" because you had another thread last week where you say it's been 18 months.

This man is a widower and you were moaning about the fact that his Facebook profile photo is of him and his late wife, and that he still has photos of him and his late wife around his house rather than of him with you. You wanted to know if this was normal.

I respectfully suggest that you part ways.

He's not into you, I'm afraid. If he was, he wouldn't behave like this.

Ahh there's the thing. Your both more mature...well he is

He's telling you where his priorities lie.

You cant control his actions, you cant demand he sees you, you cant make him want to see you more, you cant ask him to change his plans but you can take the information.

You aren't his priority.

Sorry but it doesn’t sound like he’s that bothered about you really. Personally I’d dump him and find someone who wants to see a bit more of you and put you first.

.

From your other answers to me this is a red flag. he seems to not be on the same page as you. I don't know if I could seriously date someone who is off to the pub with their friends multiple times a week instead of building a life and experiences with me. Especially if the relationship is still relatively new. It's of course okay to see mates but I'd not cancel on a partner for them especially given they see each other regularly and you don’t live together. Also not sure about your ages and future goals but would you want a marriage and children with someone that will priorise going to pub to drink instead of being there for you? If a man really is into you and ready, you will know. Don't waste your time is my opinion or have a very serious chat with him.

I'd be upset that he had plans with me and cancelled them to see his mates and I'd seriously be reconsidering the future of the relationship. Fair enough if he'd already had plans with his mates and I'd asked him to do something and he said "sorry love I've made plans with the boys, are you free this date to do something" but what your boyfriend has done wouldn't be ok with me.

Edited- Misread post. I wouldn't expect him to cancel on plans he made prior to me asking so yabu but yanbu to expect to see him more regularly and for him to make time for you, this wouldn't be enough for me after 2 years.

He is not into you.
You are not a priority.
You are wasting your time.
He will dump you the minute someone else comes along.
Wake up and move on.

He`s not that into you your a backup a step in until someone else comes along.

If he can’t make Saturday because he had a previous arrangement, that’s fine however it would be different if he cancelled your arrangement to go out with his mates (not for the first time).

i suspect 2 years isn’t enough time for him to get over losing his wife and to start another long term relationship…

up to you.

thank you food for thought

Drop the rope and make a life for yourself