Take the job or not

[wtdwtdwtd]

Dh has worked for the same company for 10+ years. A couple years ago he was promoted to manager of a different division but after about a year that section of the company was closed down. He was moved to another area (kept his wage due to responsibilities but no supervising involved) he is unhappy in this role but his only other option is to go back to his original post which would likely mean a pay cut. He doesn’t want to be a manager in that area due to stress levels. The business is an hour from us he usually wfh one day a week it has flexible hours and he picks ds up from school 1-2 a week

He has been looking for a new job , he’s found one he likes but the site is 5 hours from us. It’s mostly wfh but he would be expected to go in for meetings/ team building and if there’s any onsite issues . That looks to be around 6 times a year but could be more. When he does go in it will be 2-5 days do he will have to stay over.

We have a disabled child who can’t go to childcare, I work part time and do most drop offs but dh does a couple. If he wasn’t there we would have to ask grandparents to get him who live an hour away. I have no flexibility in my work. I’m also disabled and mostly manage ok but if I’m struggling I can’t drive and rely on dh to do school runs. ( this has only happened once this year as my condition is largely under control) We could get transport for DS if it became an issue but I’m not keen.

i think this job will bring added stress to our already stressful situation but dh thinks being able to mostly work from home will be beneficial to us which will offset the stressful times.

yabu dh deserves his career
YANBU dh needs to turn this down

unless there is a guarantee it will remain a WFH role and there are limits on the contract as to how often he goes in it doesn’t sound tenable at all. His assumption is it won’t be more than 6 times a year…..and that could be every second month him leaving for a whole week and possibly more if there is issues? It really doesn’t sound as if it is doable with both you and your child have health issues as well.

Ooh that's tricky. WFH 95% of the time definitely sounds better assuming he has a dedicated space. It sounds risky, if grandparents can't do it, you're too ill to drive... I'd worry they've painted the site visits in the best light but reality is more.

Is the pay rise enough that you can afford help? It would need to be a large after-tax bump. Unless this role would be a really useful stepping stone to something fabulous.

The fact that he hasn't found anything closer leads me to think that his job might be a bit niche and there aren't many opportunities. It's that right? In which case he should take the job, even if he only does it for a couple of years it's still a stepping stone.
5 hours away it's massive but if he only has to go in once a month or every other month for a week or less then that means he's at home fast more than he is currently, so daily life will get easier except for those few occasions when he's not there, and you could look for help in those periods, eg taxis for the school run, and a home help person.

If he's not in a niche role then he needs to keep looking and find something closer. 5 hours away is too much.

Forgot to say pay is about 1k more a year so no real financial benefit once tax/ni and pension is taken off.

It’s fairly niche unfortunately there’s are companies about an hour from us (nothing closer) but nothing suitable/at his pay grade has come up

Who would pay for hotels when he needs to stay over ?

They would cover travel/hotel/food

Well I guess that means they will want to keep site visits low as well, but it’s still one heck of a drive.

I don’t think you can put a price on someone who is the main breadwinner being unhappy at work and wanting a change.

Would you be able to afford a taxi on the odd occasion you have needed DH's help for school run?

Long term, is the role closer to where grandparents are located? How far away is your job? Would moving closer to new role (or grandparents) be an option if things work out and job feels secure?

Taxi could work in an emergency but would be around £10 each way so not feasible regularly. My job is about 20 min from where we live . Both my job and grandparents are further away from dhs job

This is it. How unhappy is he? Because it’s a massive change if he’s a bit unhappy but can cope. So far I’ve tried to stay on the fence because I don’t want to tell him he can’t do it.