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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

update! Manager making creepy sexual comments

9 replies

BlackForrestCake · 18/07/2026 00:46

Hey!

I posted a thread recently and now can’t find it because I’ve name changed since. It was basically about how my manager was being sexually creepy with his ‘banter’ and I didn’t know what to do. Just thought I’d post an update in case anyone sees this or is still around

Basically, I’m leaving the job. I actually got offered a better job somewhere else so it worked out really well, but the sexual comments were getting too much so I think I would have left anyway tbh. I’m counting down the days until I leave now

It’s actually got worse from my initial OP. I can’t even bring myself to go into the specific details but it’s more sexually explicit than what I put in my OP. Today he even joked about being raped (didn’t joke about the rape itself but still terrible nonetheless. Me and one of the girls were joking about something which is low level annoying (think having to stand all the way home on the train, that sort of thing) and he started saying how I should pretend to be pregnant to get sympathy. I then said it’s fine I don’t actually mind, we’re just joking etc and then he took it a step further and said ‘actually wait you should say I just got raped and now I’m pregnant and then they’ll definitely feel sorry for you’.

I actually stood up for myself and basically said why would you think that’s ok to say? He just laughed and said he was only kidding and it was really uncomfortable after

When I initially posted I was actually worried I was just boring and didn’t have a sense of humour or was weird to feel uncomfortable with these types of jokes but I know now the issue isn’t me, it’s him.
Anyway, I’m leaving and I don’t give a shit anymore so I’m just letting it brush off me but I’ll definitely be bringing it up when I have a leaving meeting. After my initial post I took the advice to note down every comment he makes and the date and time etc

Anyway, sorry for the long and jumbled up post but just thought I’d post an update in case anyone is still around because a lot of people helped and gave advice on my initial thread so thanks so much again 😊
Just counting down the days until I leave and tbh I’m half considering just going to my doctor and requesting a sick note for stress for the meantime

OP posts:
GrimDamnFanjo · 18/07/2026 00:48

whats Rthe highest level you could report him to?

Mumofoneandone · 18/07/2026 00:54

Thank goodness you are leaving. I'd be tempted to put in your complaint and be signed off for your notice period!

BlackForrestCake · 18/07/2026 00:56

GrimDamnFanjo · 18/07/2026 00:48

whats Rthe highest level you could report him to?

Honestly I’m not sure but I’m looking into it because I’m definitely taking this further

tbh the last couple of weeks I’ve just been so preoccupied with my new job offer (it came completely out of the blue so a bit of a shock but a very very good one!!) and handing in my notice. I’m so glad to have got the new job offer, genuinely feels like someone above was looking out for me 🥲

I’ve got notes of the comments, times, dates, locations etc after the advice on my first post and I’m definitely taking it further x

OP posts:
firstofallimadelight · 18/07/2026 06:56

On your last day before you leave email your notes to the highest person you can and cc in hr and anyone else relevant. Be clear that’s why you are leaving and that you don’t want any one else to suffer.

UpDownAllAround1 · 18/07/2026 07:12

Make sure new employer has reference from current place then send the list of this sex pest to HR

Icecreamisthebest · 18/07/2026 07:17

Really pleased to see you are going to take it further. These scummy men need to be stopped

CoffeeBeansGalore · 18/07/2026 07:30

Can you suggest your colleague notes things as well? The more evidence the better.

Blueuggboots · 18/07/2026 07:35

Will you have an exit interview?

BlackForrestCake · 18/07/2026 13:30

Blueuggboots · 18/07/2026 07:35

Will you have an exit interview?

I think so but I’m not 100% sure, but if not I’m going to request one👍🏼 x

OP posts:
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