AIBU to feel sad about being one-and-done as my son grows up?

[HeatherAndHoney]

I’m feeling unexpectedly emotional about my DS finishing Key Stage 1 and moving up to Key Stage 2.

He’s my only child, and for a variety of reasons (including my mental health), I’ve always been firmly one-and-done.
The thing is, I’m completely happy with that decision. I love my son more than anything, but I genuinely cannot think of anything I would want less than having another baby. I had a very difficult time after he was born and became so mentally unwell that I almost didn’t survive it. The idea of going through pregnancy, birth and the baby stage again fills me with dread rather than longing. I’m not broody and never have been since having him.
Yet whenever someone announces they’re expecting their second child, I feel a little pang of sadness. It doesn’t happen when people announce their first baby, only their second. I’m always genuinely happy for them, but I’m left wondering why I feel sad.

Most recently, someone I know has announced she’s expecting her second child at 45. I’m 37, and although I have absolutely no desire for another child, I found myself feeling emotional about it. Not jealous exactly, because I don’t want what she has. More a sadness that I don’t feel the way many people seem to feel about having more children.

I almost wish I wanted another child, even though I know I don’t. It feels like having a second child is often seen as the “normal” next step, and sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me for not wanting that. At the same time, I know emotionally, practically and financially another child would not be the right choice for me.

I’m wondering if what I’m actually feeling is grief that certain stages of my son’s childhood are ending. As he leaves KS1, I’m very aware that this is the last time I’ll experience these milestones. There won’t be another first day in Reception and no new little school uniform.

Has anyone else who is happily one-and-done experienced this? Did you feel sad about not having another child despite being completely certain you didn’t actually want one?

I feel very similar, he will be the only one now I’ve divorced and I don’t actually want another but I completely recognise what you describe

OP honestly I could have written your post and feel exactly the same (same age boy too).

If I makes you feel any better I have twins and I feel like this - every stage is so intense with two; and it goes so quickly and you only experience it once - well, twice, but at the same time. There’s no younger child coming up behind them where I would be able to slow down and enjoy it more. Silly thing to feel sad about I guess, I’m beyond grateful for them!!

Focus on the joy you have now .

don’t agonise about it soon being over.

just live in the moment - relishing and treasuring every moment.

none of us know what’s around the corner.

worrying about next year or what could have been is an absolute waste of energy and brain power.

live for now and don’t waste your energy on contemplating others journeys. Some people’s lives entail multiple children - yours entails your beautiful son .

be thankful , be grateful for all you have and live, love and laugh as much as possible.

We were one and done (not by choice but had accepted it) and were finding our way as a tight knit three. Then I had a very unexpected, surprise baby as my son turned 9, and it's been wonderful. For us, the age gap works and they adore each other.

For various reasons I absolutely dreaded the idea of being pregnant again, and did find it very difficult. But it's been an entirely different postpartum experience with a very different baby.