I just wanted to write this because I have no one to talk to
We have an adult son(20) he has ADHD and is immature for his age. There has been a long history of behaviour problems. He isn't working and spends his UC on cannabis. We do not tolerate cannabis in our home or property but he keeps sneaking it in and hiding it.
I can always smell it and I put it outside.
But he continues to bring hide it in his room. He often smokes it in his room in the middle of the night. He thinks he can hide the smell with his window open and then lies when we tell him. I've had to tell him to leave the garden at night a few times as he was sat smoking it. It's incredibly disrespectful and sneaky. It's a tiny garden, with close neighbours. Some have small children and windows are open due to hot weather. Sometimes he's pretended to leave and then just gone straight back and sat down again. I had to chase him away. Because of that he was shouting and disturbing our neighbours.
We've explained the fire risk and that the house insurance doesn't cover smoking but he doesn't care.
There have been a couple of incidents (about 6 months ago) where he called an ambulance saying he wanted to harm himself. My husband went with him to A+E the most recent time -waited 5 hours with him to see the mental health nurses. They spent about half an hour giving him advice. He then refused their recommendation to see the GP for some therapy etc.
He hasn't done anything like that since.
Tonight I've heard balloons in his room. I called him and spoke calmly to him (he's in the attic bedroom) and told him to take it away and leave the house for tonight. He got very angry and denied having it. He said why would I do that?! Stop accusing me and making me feel bad".
I heard it a second time and also heard heavy metal cannister thump on floor.
I again asked him to take it away. He came storming down the stairs, yelling very loud and aggressively shouting "prove I'm fking doing it then !", keep going on about it and see what fking happens! "
He then went back to his room and slammed the door. He's lying and being aggressive. When he gets angry it's frightening.
He's had nitrous oxide twice before. The first time, he wouldn't let me in the room, even though I could hear the balloons. I said I was coming into his room because I was concerned about his wellbeing.
He physically blocked me from going to his room. He was pushing against me and I had to retreat because I was scared of falling down the attic stairs. The second time I found 2 cannisters in his room when I was cleaning some orange juice off the carpet. Each time I've explained to him that it's been embarrassing having to take the cannisters to the council tip, for proper disposal. Yet he's done it again.
I've said don't bring them to the house, they are illegal and a fire risk.
We can't let him have a house key because of the risk to our property. We've tried leaving him before for short periods of time and he just abused the trust.
He is still talking loudly on phone and sleep is impossible.
I've been using a voice recorder when he starts shouting because it's horrible