AIBU to speak to nursery about my 3yo comments about food?

[StPeterPort]

I don’t know how to deal with this - it’s the first time I’m facing something like this in parenthood and I need some advice. I really don’t want to mess this up!

My DD3 said the other day to my DH, something about how eating too much food will make her fat. He didn’t react much as didn’t want to make a big thing of it, he told me and we made a point of discussing around her / with her how food makes us healthy and strong etc.

We don’t talk about being fat or slim at home, don’t talk about eating too much food… I have a big appetite too, my husband and I eat lots of food, we both love food, but have never had to worry about our weight, so eating food = “fat” is just absolutely not something we’d have ever said as it’s not something we’ve ever thought about.

This evening, she asked me for carrots. She loves carrots and all veggies. I gave her a bowl of chopped carrots and she picked one up, put it down and said “eating lots of food will make me fat”

I was so taken aback… calmly asked what she meant. Didn’t know what to say. I asked her who told her that but she just cried - she was very tired as it was after nursery. In the bath, I calmly asked her what she thinks “fat” means but she didn’t answer.

AIBU to talk to her nursery? I wonder whether someone is commenting on the amount she eats - she has a great appetite which we’ve never negatively commented on (like I said we never would, we both have big appetites too!!).

I am really concerned as I don’t want her to start having any issues - especially as young as 3 years old.

I think you can ask - if it's preschool they definitely cover food types so might have been discussing it. With my kids I say that their bodies need different things, so we need protein for our muscles to be strong and carbohydrates for energy and vitamins to help our bodies stop the germs etc.. I would just say to her that if people eat more food than their body needs then the body stores that extra energy as fat, but that she eats just the right amount and she listens to her body so she will keep growing and keep having lots of energy for running around which is perfect!

I wonder if they’ve done something around healthy eating? And someone has said something rather clumsy around unhealthy food? I’d definitely have a quick chat and see if you can gain anymore info and hopefully they will amend their language next time.

Well you can ask. I would suspect it’s more likely to have come from another child who doesn’t really know what they’re saying than one of the adults at nursery but I may be wrong.

Absolutely talk to the nursery. You don't need to go in all guns blazing demanding to know what horrible person suggested she was fat, but it's really important that they know that your child picked up that fat was bad. For all you know it could have been a kid who's overheard their parent talking about weight loss.

True it could be another child. I’ll speak with them tomorrow to flag it so at least it’s on their radar and continue positive conversations about food!