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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Employers expecting you to give your life up

35 replies

3cats00 · 15/07/2026 11:34

I interviewed for a domiciliary care position, which I have previously done on a 0 hours contract. This one offers guaranteed hours which sounded good, but after interview I've found out they expect you to be available 7am-10pm 5 days a week to meet this.

As I say I've worked in the industry before and know how it works, but I was never expected to work 5 evenings per week. In my old company I agreed certain evenings, certain mornings and afternoons etc. And I could be called to do overtime but it wasn't compulsory.

It'll be split shifts with a gap in the afternoon. They've said care staff need to provide this essentially 75-hour availability window in order to get the guaranteed hours? I think I'm going to have to decline, it's not fair to my relationship and I have pets who need feeding/letting out in the afternoons, it's not fair on them either.

Would any other industry ask this? Maybe I'm being unreasonable but they're essentially asking care staff to give up any sort of flexibility or freedom.

OP posts:
Doingtheboxerbeat · 15/07/2026 13:33

This is precisely why I won't do this - you can't relax with a nice glass of wine after a hard day, because your time is not your own, but unlike an on-call surgeon, you will be doing this for minimum wage.
F that.

CypressMoon · 15/07/2026 13:35

It's ridiculous that they ask this wehen there is such a shortage of reliable, experienced care staff.

It might be worth saying due to family commitments, you can only do specified hours (and include one or two night shifts in that.) They can take it or leave it.

StormGazing · 15/07/2026 13:38

Jesus! No way! I’m lucky as I’ve had an academic career in research, that’s bad enough having to mark some evenings/conferences/ fitting in extra work for lectures but that’s very different to 75 hours every week - I’d rather stack shelves!

Friendlygingercat · 15/07/2026 13:43

I was once asked to do split shifts and absolutely declined. Thats 4 lots of commuting time (as opposed to two) and not offering me time off when its useful to me.

It might be different if you were living in and there was no travelling time involved. I can understand that live in nannies and carers may have to do this.

12234m · 15/07/2026 13:54

3cats00 · 15/07/2026 13:29

That's interesting, it may be the same, did you end up having to work a lot of full days?

No as I made my availability very clear but they still tried to push it. I know of some doing 7am-10pm but it's 2-3 hours off in the middle of the day. She became very ill.

Shinyandnew1 · 15/07/2026 13:58

That’s really crappy work hours. I would say I’m writing when I decline the job that split shifts allow no work life balance and you would be happy to work a mix of earlier or late shifts but having time off in the middle of the day does not work for you.

Hopefully if enough people are specific about why they decline, it will eventually sink in!

Platypusdiver · 15/07/2026 14:18

Dh as a chef used to do this when working at a hotel. He used to cycle home during the break and sleep. His head chef used to take a taxi home and drink! Weekends were expected too. In fact, he never got 2 consective days off.

Really explotative. Obviously the staff turnover was huge.

Musicaltheatremum · 15/07/2026 14:22

3cats00 · 15/07/2026 12:59

Thank you. I've declined the role, I can just see it being a nightmare having any sort of life outside of it. It's a shame really.

It is. And they wonder why staff leave. We need people like you but the whole care set up needs overhauling

DeftGoldHedgehog · 15/07/2026 14:23

MrsPinkSky · 15/07/2026 11:38

There are all sorts of jobs in different industries with crazy hours, but they suit some people well.

This doesn't suit you that's all.

This doesn't suit anyone at all other than someone extremely vulnerable absolutely desperate for work and wiling to do anything.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 15/07/2026 14:25

I would report them to the CQC. If this is what they expect of staff, how will those staff tend to the residents properly?

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