I’ve name changed for this as I’m embarrassed but it’s eating me up and I have no one else to share with. I have been using medically prescribed cannabis for the last 3 months and it’s made a huge impact on my life.I have adhd and PMDD and also endometriosis. I’ve been on every anti-depressant you can think of and pain killers. Every single thing came with some sort of a side a side effect.
I had a great career in HR but my conditions just messed it all up for me. I would keep myself up all night making sure I’m ready for the next day. Convince my self that everyone hates me and that I’m crap at my job. Everyone could tell me I was doing amazing and I just thought they were lying. This is how I am in every single role whether retail or corporate. I will make myself so ill that I have to go off sick or create some false illusion so that I have to leave.
I’ve now kind of came to understand that I have my limits and I know what I can and can’t do and what works for me and what doesn’t. I feel like I’m burdened by this lie because I’m worried about how others might perceive me or if the doctors blame my problems on cannabis use. How the hell do I explain to people that this is the only thing that makes me feel normal? I’m able to get on with things not feel depressed all the time not be in pain and be able to play with my children and actually enjoy it.
My oldest brother died when I was young he was on drugs at the time (cocaine) from a freak accident. So my whole family has this huge stigma around drugs.
I feel like I’m living one big fat lie and I don’t need to be out and proud about it but is it something I should be sharing with close family?