AIBU to feel hurt by DH speaking to me badly all weekend?

[Strugglingmumma88]

Had a family event today

Dh has spoken to me like something he picked up on his shoes all day. Well all weekend really. Nothing I have done has been good enough. I wasn't prepared to pack the car up early enough - fine but we both could have done it yesterday and neither of us did. I was running the kids to parties all afternoon and he had a nap in preparation for the football

Couldn't take a photo properly because the lighting was bad - also my fault even when I asked him to move

Haven't spent enough time with him all day - i was busy in the kitchen helping at the event

And then when we back to a relatives house after the party finally had 5 mins to sit down next to him but meant having to climb past people, he started making beeping noises like a lorry does when its moving - and he knows i'm really sensitive about my weight at the moment

Just had enough today

I had SO many years of this kind of shit. They don't improve, OP. Please start seriously considering what you want as this behaviour is not ok.

wtf!

Oh OP, you’ve picked very badly. Doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself forever. LTB! He truly sounds awful. I couldn’t or wouldn’t give him the time of day.

What you’re describing is emotional abuse. Is he abusive in other ways? Financially? Sexually? Physically?

He doesn't sound old enough to be married.

Please tell me you don't have children with this immature child.

Speak for yourself! I’m not a bitter, angry, old crone. I just know right from wrong and have standards.

@Strugglingmumma88 I’m sure you do to, so show him the door and do a wide berth beep beep as he’s leaving carrying his bulky suitcase.

I don’t understand why you’re staying with someone who clearly doesn’t even like you. He’s an arsehole.

I realise tone can sometimes be lost in text and it was a risk. At least you're fabulously earnest.

This is very disturbing and you are in a toxic dynamic. Perhaps this is all you know but healthy relationships aren’t like this at all. I’m sorry that you are experiencing this and sorry that you could think, for a moment, that this is acceptable or better than being on your own.

OP come on. He is an utter prick. Why are you even still with him? Please leave this disgusting shit-head as soon as possible.

I’d escort my husband to the door and lock it after him if he said that, tell him to go away and plan his single life and come back and tell me what he thinks of himself for saying that to me and why we should stay married?

he did it twice I wouldn’t give him a second chance.

op, good men do not speak to their wives like this. Ever, not once, not many times, not ever.

Op he’s an absolute c&&t and I don’t like that word but he is definitely one .. you’re too good for him op and you’re better than this.. how dare he compare you to your friends and say what he does how dare he.. get rid of him op I bet he’s no Brad Pitt start comparing him to someone else play his game and make him feel shit and when you’ve made him feel shit make him feel shit a little bit more then take the bastard for everything you can get and leave him a mess on the floor.. walk away with a big smile op there’s someone out there who will appreciate you

Woah… this isn’t so much a red flag as a huge red banner. I’m sorry @Strugglingmumma88, no one should be treated this way.

He's treating you with utter contempt. His behaviour is utterly hateful and disgusting. Your update is awful, OP.

It won't magically get better. He won't magically become a nice person. They never do.

Please leave. One short life, it's all we have.

That’s abusive.

So he naps whilst you run the kids around, complains like a toddler about the lighting, sits around while you hello out, then makes ride noises about his WIFE?! I bet he's overweight, balding and not too sharp mentally.

Goodness me, tell him that you imagine being with someone handsome and intelligent and not to be so boring.

U need to be away from this negative and cruel behaviour.

Oh dear God! Your update is even worse.

In the bloody bin with him! What a nasty little man he is.

He is still not talking to me - the peace is a tally quite nice

Not sure if its been a light bulb moment but I just feel done now. Its a horrible environment and I am fed up of having to walk around on egg shells be cause of anything I do or say eing wrong

I would never speak to someone the way he has spoken to me. Not even someone I don't like.

He makes comments about how I don't do enough around the house. I do most of the day to day chores.

I made one comment about how although he cooks dinner 2 - 3 times a week, its usually some veg abd something put it in the oven (which is am more than thankful) but he made a comment about how I am only good at the washing sometimes...so I said dinner was a small job. I'm not allowed to be upset over his comment as I sometimes let the washing basket get too high (according to his standards) but hes been sulking about what i said for weeks and throws it back at me in every argument.
Bearing in mind dinner 2-3 days a week is all he does. I do the dishwasher (loading/unloading), the washing (loading, hanging up and putting away) majority of school runs, all household admin (bills/appointments etc) and food shops

Life woukd be easier just me and the children and its taken me a long time to realise that. Feels like a light bulb has gone off today

Reading the first bit I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt (my DH was a grumpy twat yesterday but he was in pain, tired, and stressed with work) however reading the second bit about the thinner friends and my empathy and compassion for him has fizzled and died!! What a bellend!!!

So what’s your plan?

He is an absolute arsehole ... its not banter its disrespect at its highest .
Do you really need to stay with him why stay with someone like him who treats you that way.
He needs to get back under his rock what a creep he says that about your friends.
Solicitors...divorce...freedom from the cunt.

Read this back to yourself and ask why exactly you are settling for such low standards.

This is not what a loving happy relationship looks like.

Come on OP, you have answered you own question.

Freeeeeeedom or eggshells ?

OP, you don't need to explain what you do or don't do in terms of household chores to justify anything. Nobody should live in an environment where they are insulted and belittled. Plus although it is a minor point given the nastiness you are being subjected to but if anyone suggested my laundry basket was 'too full' my usual cheery disposition would be replaced by something rather unpleasant. How dare he? He's supposed to be your partner, not your boss. I think you are right that you will be better off if he is housed elsewhere. Can you make this so?

Leave. Fucking leave. We can all advise you on what’s best and how to. Please. Please, leave the cunt.