So disappointed with ex partner during contact time, but should not be surprised at all really

[Redruby2020]

So we all know it’s the World Cup, and there are many things I could say about my ex partner, so in another way just part of his behaviour. So he had our DS 3 weekends a month, so plenty of time to swan around and do what he wants. Regardless that a weekend is still a weekend so I know it’s not the same as during the week, but that’s me making excuses really. Which i shouldn’t.
So I have learnt that lastnight for example with the big match on, DS’s dad left him with their friends next door as he is friends with their child, and they had stayed up to watch the match, and exP went to pub to see first half it seems, not sure if longer. Has done it for other match/s too, and I would not be surprised on other occasions too.
I don’t get why he just can’t stay with our DS. If it’s once in a while I guess some might say it’s not the end of the world. But when that is your time and you don’t do much else, do you see what I mean.
I also don’t excuse with the reason others give of not being able to control what happens during exes contact unless safeguarding issue etc etc.
I would want to know he has not drank loads either as there has been a history there. Though he has improved a bit I think.

It doesn't sound like massive issue?

I know I thought others might say that, there is alot of back history though. And so many issues. And weekends really affect our DS, as in even before he was having sleep issues, the Monday mornings. Sundays can be a challenge and stressful to get him moving and get ready for bed etc.
He has been up really late, then obviously slept in a bit, but I don’t know from the weekdays and current issues that I posted about already. And school etc, then he goes there it’s messed up plus they share the bed as dad is in a small shared place, although during my sons sleep difficulties he has had to come in with me some of the time, and it was best to get him to sleep, but creates more issues. No his dad’s arrangement will never change I can say that much.
So although some said before that weekends aren’t a big deal, they really are in to the mix it messes things up.

I am so fed up really with lots of other things going on, having to deal with Monday can’t get son up then doing everything to get him out the door and make it look good and still get him to school on time. It’s stressful

Well you had a child with this man so really what were you expecting?

The match started at 10. Would your DC not be in bed at that time?

Helpful, really helpful.

That’s poor op. Why couldn’t he just watch it at home? I presume you don’t know these neighbours either. I wouldn’t be happy with that at all. How old is ds?

How old is DS? How long has this contact arrangement been in place? Is DS generally happy at his dad’s?

Usually yes well especially at home they would be. But generally not when there at the weekends. It sounds like the family had a tv out front etc.

Informal arrangement since 2021

I mean i understand that it would be like me leaving him with people j know in mg time. DS is 8 seems the other kids or kid who lives there must have been up too.
I feel the same why couldn’t he just stay home and watch it, this is what he is like.

Expected comments like that, it’s sad though you expect them to be different towards the child.
But no don’t worry to who made that comment I was in an abusive relationship, otherwise I would never of had a child with him.

Then I’m hearing it sounds like ExP came around the second half, then something about cake that he ate or they gave him, and he wanted DS to take plate and that he was getting washing out, and DS didn’t want to take the plate and Exp dropped it then blamed DS for it dropping can’t make it out exactly.
Things like this worry me as I think of what Ex used to be like. And I’m thinking is this when he came back at the end of the night.

I’ve just said to him earlier this evening please if you want to do this just leave him with me

I asked Exp about plate he said what plate but with him he will go around things.

i did say to DS how did the plate break and he was saying it like he wanted him to take it and he wouldn’t and makes it sound like he dropped it like on purpose I really don’t know without being there.
Because then DS was saying Exp was behind him and then the plate dropped and hit his foot but I can’t see anything. He said they were going up the step, so I said did his dad trip or something otherwise not getting it, how it broke then and if he was carrying it indoors despite asking DS to carry it. And DS just said I don’t know.

But he had been more upset about girls at the party who he said were not very nice to him etc, then j said well did you tell your dad was he there, he’s saying no he went from the afternoon 🤦‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ Exp saying no he was home.
But then that he dropped him to the party and went back after to pick him up.
But I’m like yeah, but I’m hearing you went after the football or inbetween. Not being clear.

Then it has all bothered my sons sleep who has only ended up going to sleep at 11pm 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
in the past no matter what had gone on or not, he slept as usual like 8 something. It was the Monday struggle that was a problem!

What age is your son?

8