I'm interested in hearing from people who've actually been through this, because I'm really not sure what the right approach is.
My daughter is 16 and over the past year or so she's gained a noticeable amount of weight. She's confident, has a lovely group of friends, enjoys going out, wears whatever she wants and doesn't seem at all self-conscious. In many ways I'm really pleased she has such self-confidence about herself.
My concern isn't about her not fitting some sort of ideal image. It's more that she seems to have become much less healthy generally. She used to be fairly active but now most of her free time is spent on her phone or watching TV. The difference in her fitness is noticeable, she avoids anything involving exercise, and if left to her own devices would happily live on snacks, takeaways, iced coffees etc etc.
The problem is that the minute I suggest cooking something healthier, going for a walk together or doing anything active, she assumes I'm making a comment about her weight. I usually back off because I don't want to create an unhealthy relationship with food or her feel like she's been criticised.
On one hand, at 16 she's old enough to make many of her own choices, but she's still my child and I have that responsibility. I'm really torn between respecting her autonomy and confidence, and wondering whether I'm avoiding a difficult conversation because I don't want the fallout.
I'm interested in hearing from people who've been on either side of this.
If you're a parent and you've been in the situation and said something, how did they react, and looking back would you do anything differently?
And if you were an overweight but confident teenager if your parents hadn't said anything, do you wish they had, or if they did, did you wish they'd left it alone?
I'd appreciate thoughtful replies rather than point-scoring. I know weight is a sensitive topic, and I'm genuinely trying to find the best way to support her without damaging her confidence.