Anyone else in same boat? Living with an AH?

[Travelfairy]

To just start doing nice stuff for myself?

We are just back from holiday, he complained his way through it and except for when we had dinner he had his air pods in and got irritated if me or kids asked him anything.

Previous holiday was similar and at home he is similar. Today he has falsely accused me of breaking an item of his (its not actually even broken) but nevertheless I didn't go near it and then of changing the combination lock on the safe because he couldnt remember it. (I dont even know how to do that!)
Anyway I am sitting in the garden. One kid at a sleepover, one upstairs on a call with friends. I cant LTB just yet so I jusy decided next best thing is to be nice to myself. I am sitting in the garden with a lovely fresh salad I made and a glass of wine. I have literally never done this before without him but I am sick to the back teeth of him!
He is going away for 2 weeks with work on Wednesday and I can't bloody wait! Not really AIBU. Just posting for traffic x

The only BU bit is staying with him, as you already know! Enjoy your salad and wine.

You don't say who the arsehole is but mine was my ex husband and it was the reason I divorced him.

I'm sorry but all the fresh salads and wines in the world won't make that a happy home to raise your children in.

Either divorce or if he's your partner, leaving him sounds like the only way forward.

Nope as if I didn't like him we wouldn't be together whats the point in being miserable

Guys I am a carer for my youngest child. I dont have the means to leave. We are not in immediate danger. I was just looking if anyone in same boat. Ill try the divorce thread even though not at that stage yet

My husband

Guys I am a carer for my youngest child.

How much longer are you likely to be a carer?

If your husband left you tomorrow, you'd be single and a carer.

Til she is 18 i guess but she'll always need extra support

So you're going to remain in an awful marriage until then?

How is this going to help any of you?

It’s not an awful marriage if you stop hoping it’s better. When you accept how it is, and organise your life around the needs of you and your DC, it gets much easier. Stop trying to make him be a nice husband. Accept he’s a room mate and can look after himself while you look after you and the DC.

💐💐 I'm single and honestly I don't miss being with an AH.
Enjoy your 2 weeks break and maybe get into a new routine whilst he's gone and continue once he's home.

And as for the other posters, isn't a poster allowed to come on here to just moan sometimes. She doesn't want people telling her what she should be doing, she just wants a bit of kindness.

She hasn't asked for advice about her marriage..
It's not your business and she doesn't need to be interigated on something she hasn't asked for advice on which is why she should leave her marriage.

She just wants to find time for herself and maybe she will see things differently once she's had breathing time by herself.

And my questions to the OP aren't your business either.

Yet here you are 🤷‍♂️

Thank you x

Thank you, the initial few replies actually made me feel even worse...if that's possible 😞

Very, very similar situation here and my time in the garden reading in the evenings is what's keeping me sane this summer. You will eventually find the right time to dis-entangle yourself but for now, looking after yourself in small ways will help❤️

Some people just don't have the emotional capacity to be nice and consider how they are putting things to others that are probably not in a great head space right now.

That's on them not on you ! You never asked them for an opinion on your marriage!!!

Ignore them and keep your peace! 🥰

It takes nothing to Be Kind!!

And here YOU are....

Sorry to hear this Elaine66. I wonder is there a thread for this awkward stage..

Thank you Cockerpoomom x
My marriage is in a bad place definitely but I'm just trying to survive til I can do something about it