Does anyone have experience of Othello Syndrome?

[Desdemona2]

I’m in the process of leaving my partner, and I’ve found this whilst Googling. It fits his behaviour exactly. He is delusionally jealous and convinced I have cheated on him.

I am still planning to leave but wondering if anyone’s lived through similar?

It really doesn’t matter if this a medical issue or just a presentation of extreme jealousy and control, the outcome is the same:

You are in danger
You need to leave and,
Don’t even try to save him from himself.

At the end of the day, syndrome or not, Othello ended up killing his wife.

Yes, I know. It’s very unsettling and I don’t feel very safe. Some of the things he says are just unhinged.

How soon can you leave ? Does he know you are planning to?

My exdp was the same.
I had no idea of the danger I was in.

He totally lost it when he realised I was leaving and destroyed my house.
He smashed everything in the kitchen.
Ripped up, slashed and damaged all .y clothes.
The poured paint all over them and my bedroom.

We had 4 dc so he knew this would really impact them.

The police ended up being involved.
They issued a warrant for his arrest. Eventually he was stopped. When they took his laptop and phone, they showed he had tracked me for years. He had 100s of photos of me. Most i wasn't aware of.

Please, please be careful and don't underestimate your partner.

Take care. X

Thank you. Most of the time he holds it together but I have seen him absolutely lose it, and I’m worried he will do so again.

What happened next for you? Did he get custody?

Othello syndrome is a psychological disorder characterized by delusional and obsessive jealousy. Most likely it won't get better.

You need to leave and you need to be safe.

Yes, I know. I am. But we have children so it’s highly unlikely that I’ll never see him again.

I think he needs serious, intensive psychiatric help. It’s a shame because he does have some good qualities, and obviously I didn’t conceive hoping to be a single mum. But his behaviour is just not normal and he can’t see it at all.

OP, have you thought that he might be cheating himself and he's accusing you of what he is guilty of himself or that he might be suffering a form of psychosis?

I mean, none of it matters, you need to leave him safely. But trying to diagnose him won't help you at all. And he will never be able to see how absurd his accusations are.

I think you need to ring your local branch of Women's Aid (search for "women's aid Lincoln", for example) and ask them to help you form a safety plan for leaving him. Leaving is statistically the most dangerous time anyway, but in your case I would imagine the risk is even more acute. Make sure you disclose everything to them so that they can form an accurate professional judgement and follow their advice carefully, even if it includes things like police involvement which you would rather avoid. The safety if you and your children is paramount.

I think both are possible. I don’t have evidence of actual cheating but I know he’s downloaded sex apps before during the relationship. I’ve often thought that the way he attacks me is deflection. He doesn’t have time for an actual affair but I think prostitutes and/or hook ups are possible.

He’s going through a stressful time, which I think has triggered this. Last week he was briefly convinced he had cancer, then suddenly I was cheating. I think he spirals.

You’re right that it doesn’t matter, ultimately, though.

Yes but you need a life on your own him only being the children's father.

He got a 2 years suspended sentence as he had no previous convictions. He was ordered to pay me compensation/costs for the damaged goods.

He gave up work and has never worked since. Never paid a penny in maintenance...

Hi, I’ve a a partner with jealousy problems exactly like this (Othellos syndrom) can you tell me things your partner would do?