AIBU to feel upset by comments about being a one-child family?

[Greengingham]

Someone recently said that having just one child means you’re not a “proper family”. I know people say things without thinking sometimes, but it really hit a nerve.

I have one DS age 7 (partly by choice, because of neurodiversity and post natal depression), and I sometimes already worry about whether he’s missing out by not having a sibling. I’ve had those little moments of guilt wondering if I should have given him a brother or sister, even though I know there are lots of reasons families look different.

But the idea that our family somehow isn’t a real one, because there’s only one child really upset me.
My child is loved, supported and cherished. We spend time together, make memories and he has a family who would do anything for him.
Surely a family is about love, security and belonging - not the number of children in it?

I know only children can have happy, fulfilled childhoods, but I’d love to hear from other parents of only children. Have you ever had comments like this, and did it bother you?

We had so many comments like this when our only DS was younger. From friends, workmates and strangers! It happened so often-maybe I’m seen as a soft touch or too nice but I’m not sure why people felt compelled to comment on our family size or ask why we stopped at one. We were out for dinner with close friends and they brought up that only children were selfish I think on three occasions-WTF? I stopped meeting up with them after that as it was so upsetting.
I mulled over the comments for far too long and it really affected the first 5 or 6 years of my DS’s childhood as in I felt sad and guilty.
Now he is 16 we haven’t had a comment for years and he is so happy to be an only. As am I!
My only advice is people are dicks and you can really only control your reaction to these comments. Don’t let them in like I did. Enjoy your small, perfectly formed family!

I think the half arsed and ill informed opinion of one person isn’t worth a crock of shit.

It's a silly thing to say

I have 4 children OP and people don’t like that either. I say fuck the lot of them wherever they sit on the snotty judgy pants scale 🖕🏻.

I’m three years in to having more than one and JUST started to not regret it everyday!

Wtf that is so messed up. I have two and want more (probably wont happen) but never would I think this.

Ok …

It depends how you are defining a proper family. If it is one where eveyone loves and supports each other and enjoys spending time together, then we with our only child are more of a 'proper' family than my two child family growing up!
Maybe they regret having that second child and have to console themselves with being a 'proper family'.

Ignore ignorant people. I’m an only, my mother was an only and I have an only too. It’s ridiculous how biased people are.

Ask her if she’s saying yours is improper!