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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we weren't in the wrong? A dog one.

6 replies

HolyHannah · 08/07/2026 23:02

This morning, friend and I took the dogs on a woodland walk (for reference, it was about 22° at the start and 24° by the time we were done, so not too hot but the sun was full on when not in the shade). We went to the cafe on the edge of the woodland for brunch afterwards, with the dogs.

The cafe welcomes dogs. It has a very small indoor section and a larger courtyard with 4 large umbrellas. One of the umbrellas was broken. So only 3/4 of the tables were in shade. There was an empty table in the shade and we went and sat at it with the dogs after ordering our brunch.

On the table next to us was a woman, with 2 dogs under her table. We didn't initially see the dogs, but quickly saw and heard them as we sat down. Both were growling, barking and snarling at our dogs. We settled our dogs under our table and ignored the ones next to us.

The woman was on the phone and said loudly "sorry Maureen I'll have to go, some dogs are upsetting my dogs, it's very stressful". Her companion came back to the table and the woman said to him "this is really stressful, those dogs (gesturing at our, sleeping, dogs) are bothering ours". The man then asked us to move. We declined, stating there were no other shaded tables for the dogs. They tutted and grumbled, until they eventually finished up and left.

WIBU not to leave?

To be clear, our dogs don't go near other dogs and remained lay down, under our table the entire time. It was merely their presence which bothered the other dogs.

OP posts:
PeachySmile2 · 08/07/2026 23:07

She should not take her dogs to a public place if the mere sight of another dog upsets them.

thereisnomeaning · 08/07/2026 23:10

No, if her dogs are reactive, then it's on her to manage them.

noctilucentcloud · 08/07/2026 23:12

In general if there's options I chose not to sit next to other dogs to give everyone more space. But in your case there wasn't that option because your pups needed shade. The other lady was in the wrong, if you have reactive dogs you don't take them to cafes / pubs etc. You get a takeaway, don't go or leave the dog/s at home!

HolyHannah · 08/07/2026 23:14

noctilucentcloud · 08/07/2026 23:12

In general if there's options I chose not to sit next to other dogs to give everyone more space. But in your case there wasn't that option because your pups needed shade. The other lady was in the wrong, if you have reactive dogs you don't take them to cafes / pubs etc. You get a takeaway, don't go or leave the dog/s at home!

Edited

Yes, if there had been an alternative shaded table, I'd have moved as soon as they were bothered.

OP posts:
VodkaAndSoda · 08/07/2026 23:15

YANBU

If there was an alternative table in the shade it probably would have been nice to move as they were there first, but really if someone takes their reactive dog to a dog-friendly cafe they’ve got to expect that other dogs might be there. It’s their problem, not yours.

Viviennemary · 08/07/2026 23:26

You did nothing wrong. Your dogs were minding their own business and doing nothing wrong. The woman and her dogs are the ones with a problem.

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