to just feel utter despair sometimes about the state of things for our kids?

[toolioo]

Incoming rant but I am feeling fed up that we are constantly inundated with media debates about social media, Roblox, harmful content, the manosphere, vaping, gaming addiction,, record levelsof obesity etc, and if you really dig into it, the list is so overwhelmingly long. While it's absolutely right that we engage with these issues, does anyone else just sit back and think how the fuck did we get here? We had the ultimate opportunity to harness our own creations and elevate humanity, but we've compromised it so bloody badly that it feels like a point of no return. How bleak is the future looking? I feel like we are being laughed at by the people in power (and I'm referring to the people profiting off of our experimentation, not our absolutely useless govt). It genuinely makes me question the ethics of bringing another child into this world right now. How on earth did we get here

I was just watching a programme set in 1990 and all the football hooliganism and violence and rioting with poll tax being the catalyst. There is always stuff, it's not uniquely awful now.

Environmental destruction is uniquely awful. That isthe first thing on my list

My first thought was the 1990 recession as well. All the graduate jobs disappeared overnight, negative equity etc. it was a pretty bleak time then.

Not trying to downgrade how you feel, but life goes round in cycles, and there’s always good and bad stuff going on.

Imagine being born 1900. WW1 hits when you're a teenager. You survived. The twenties were great, then, just as you began to feel settled, WW2 hits like a train and everything you know vanishes overnight. The world doesn't get back to anything like normality until you're well into your 50s. And just as things are starting to pick up, music, fashion, the economy, technology; you're health starts to fail. An entire life of almost getting there, but never quite making it.

People have always gone through cycles. This one is bad. Will get a lot worse. I dont think we've even begun to see the worst. An entire generation of children have had their lives ruined. If you're in your 20s, you likely will never own a home or have children. You will live in a digital prison. Your parents allowed you to become addicted to phones and social media, you're like the "beautiful ones" in Universe 25. As a society, we are at the end stage of that experiment.

@ThePeppyOpalScroller My Grandmother was born in 1901 and what you have written is exactly how her life was. She had people die she loved in both World Wars, her husband in the second

Exactly. There have always been horrible things to contend with - just read Charles Dickens about child poverty and exploitation! Or before medical science and antibiotics, when many children didn't make it to their 5th birthday.

We just have different problems now.

But I do agree (being old) that the modern world is incredibly challenging for children and parents in terms of what children are exposed to via the internet and other media. I'm just glad I was young when I was young, and that my children grew up before social media etc etc.

Every generation has its problems, we’re not experiencing Victorian poverty, our sons aren’t destined for the trenches but yes, we have huge issues, many related to the online world.

But your job as a parent is to help them navigate that stuff.

Teach them money mngt, digital awareness, and good nutrition. Model decent values. Support their mental & physical health. Help them get that first job. Build their confidence and self worth. Give them basic skills like cooking on a budget.

My ds hasn't "had his life ruined". He doesn't "live in a digital prison" and he doesn't bother at all with social media. Both my nieces (mid 20s) have just bought their own homes.

Economies go in cycles but there is always opportunity.

My great aunt was born in 1900 and that was exactly her life. Never had her own kids but I remember her very fondly. I wasn’t able to have children myself, devastated for a long time but now starting to feel like maybe it’s not such a bad thing.

You’re right, there are lots of problems but it was ever thus. When my grandmother was born Europe was being consumed by fascism and was on the cusp of world war. She was born in what was effectively a slum had no obvious or clear route to climbing the social ladder. Children (including her sister) were killed by what are now preventable and treatable diseases.

Everything works in cycles and in many respects now is the best time ever to be alive.

The one big difference of course is climate change which is a civilisation ending issue and in relation to which we are absolutely fucked, because it’s gone beyond the point of no return, and nothing effective is being done to mitigate or manage the impact.

Exactly this! Life has always been hard, there’s always been heavy challenges to navigate, your job as a parent (or functioning member of society) is to help them work round or through those challenges the best you can, and life goes on regardless.

Totally agree, my teens aren't addicted to their phones, are active, intelligent and well rounded, understand money management and are already saving for driving, housing etc, and of course I'll help when the time comes.

Every generation has it's challenges, I'm raising strong, independent girls, who once upon a time wouldn't have been allowed their own bank account. We have a responsibility as parents to raise the next generation, if parents decide that technology is a replacement for human interaction with their children things will obviously go wrong - luckily I think those parents are a minority, most of us are doing the best for our children. This includes teaching resilience, responsibility, understanding disappointment, helping with confidence, general life skills...

No previous generation will have the extreme weather that we’re set to have with all the impacts on food, water, security, migration. That’s what worries me for my kids.

Life for children is, in general, better than it’s ever been.

(I’m not poking fun at your concerns, I promise, but it did make me laugh that you think Roblox and vaping are modern horrors.)

Agree with the others - things have never been better than they are now. We are very lucky.

The economy could be doing better but hopefully it will.

Children are not so much "exposed to the internet" as explicitly given exposure by their parents. People seem to think there's a smug difference between 3 hours of Miss Rachel and 3 hours of Tiktok.
I have been teaching for nearly 30 years. I have taught in inner London schools and leafy suburban schools. Much of the problem now for children appears to be parental attitudes and entitlement. There have always been parents who struggled with feeding their child a healthy diet or managing their behaviour and the loss of children's centres and Sure Start type schemes really exacerbated that. But now there is a whole swathe of parents, more so than ever before, who seem to think they are raising little demi gods and the children can pretty much do what they want, from very young ages. Children rule the roost and parents enable it, clearing the path in front of them by refusing to say no, manage behaviour, enforce boundaries.
50 years ago, of course there were many, many issues but there was collective responsibility towards raising a child then. Now, who'd dare? Not sure who's scarier - the kids who don't give a shit, or their parents who think that's ok.

A lot of the things you’ve listed are within our control. My DD at the age of 9 has no access to Roblox for example and she’s certainly not allowed to stuff unhealthy food down her throat to the point of obesity. Loads of kids don’t vape just like loads didn’t smoke before vaping. You can educate regarding harmful online content and keeping yourself healthy. Many schools do a great job at getting these messages out. As others have mentioned there have always been challenges to navigate (several a lot worse than what you have listed), it’s not new or unusual, just different.

I feel like we are being laughed at by the people in power (and I'm referring to the people profiting off of our experimentation, not our absolutely useless govt)

Who are these mysterious, unnamed people in power you refer to?

This sounds very much like conspiracy theory thinking OP. You would probably feel happier if you stayed away from algorithms feeding you conspiracy material.

I also fear for the future but think the OP's take on it is part of the problem. Blaming big corporates or the government is just an excuse for shit parenting. Nobody holds a gun to your head. You and you alone are responsible for what your child is exposed to. Big corporations only make money because people buy from them. We need a revolution in parenting, not a revolution in those in power. We need to stop pointing the finger at others, we're just passing the bucket. Time to start looking at ourselves and how we parent.

I think the biggest threat is shit parenting, sense of entitlement and the constant mindset that is everyone else’s fault but there own

in my varied friendship circle which ranges from single parent on min wage to CEO 95% of the kids are doing well

It’s so easy to blame “other” people for your failings as a parent. Children are not being parented anymore. So many parents think and want someone else to do the work. Not enough people are taking RESPONSIBILITY for their own children!!!

I worry about climate change too but other generations have had equally bad/worse weather due things like volcanic eruptions or the 'mini ice age' in the 17/18 hundreds.

My main worry atm is AI - bad for jobs and the environment.

Yes, exactly. Stop catastrophising and put your energy to good use.

Have a read of Humankind by Rutger Bregman may help you see a more positive outlook OP

I agree with this - it IS a difference which humans are going to pretty powerless to combat.

For years scientists have been warning us that there would come a 'tipping point' when the earth warms (or rather, the oceans, which regulate the earth's climate) by a few crucial degrees and the change will be irreversible. That point may have been reached.

And it doesn't matter even if all of us in the developed world started riding our bikes because China and less developed countries with huge populations are giving up their bikes in favour of the luxury lifestyles we've all enjoyed for several generations. I don't think wagging our privileged fingers at them will help.