Changing a baby’s nappy on a food table

[Intsywintsyspider]

I was in a park today having a coffee from a food van. There are 6 large wooden tables close together and on one was a group of new mums.
I was shocked to see one of them whip out a changing mat and change her baby’s nappy at the table.
The park is undergoing redevelopment but there are 2 portaloos, one modern public toilet and of course grass.
Now, I know we’ve come a long way since the days where I used to breast feed my kids in the toilet when I was in public, but I felt this was unhygienic and unacceptable.
i spoke to the food van and they said there was not much they could do, but she comes regularly, but they’d make sure they’d wipe the table.
I’d like to have spoken to her directly but didn’t want to shame her.
AIBU - it’s up to the park keepers to deal with it.
YANBU - I should speak to her, if so, what would you have said

I would never have done this when DS was in nappies (which wasn't that long ago). Changing mat on the grass.

For me it wouldn't be because my back is absolutely knackered and we dont know if the benches are on grass or like my local parks on gravel or bark!

Good for you my back wouldn't allow it .

Good for me? I wasn't stealth bragging about not changing my baby's nappy on a table that people use to eat food on. It seems a pretty obvious a thing not to do 😅

If she was a new mum then we’re probably talking about a newborn here, in which case it really wouldn’t bother me. Newborns are pretty clean. Even if it was a dirty nappy, their poo doesn’t smell. It’s not like the toxic waste that comes out of a toddler. There’s a chance she finds it difficult sitting on the floor - I had an episiotomy and getting up and down was uncomfortable for a while. Maybe she had a c section? Or maybe she did it on the grass last time and someone’s dog came over and interfered? (It happens). I dunno, it’s not ideal but at the same time sometimes when we’re sleep deprived we make some poor decisions because we’re not thinking clearly. I’m glad you didn’t say anything because new mums can be quite fragile

Of course you should be minding your own business. New parents have enough to cope with without you. It will be years before this woman has time to have a coffee on her own and judge other people in the park.

The world is burning, there are wars everywhere, children are being separated from their parents and deported, racism is on the rise, a sex offender leads one of our global allies and we say nothing about it. But carry on worrying about someone taking care of their baby in a slightly different way to how you'd prefer.

Extinguishing the global fires, one wee at the time.

Brought to you by MN.

Well it would, it's just etiquette and the likely availability of better options/places to change them that would hold most people back in a restaurant.

If it's an outside setting, on the ground most people would also want a blanket under the changing mat, on a seat/chair isnt a trick that many people can pull off. A table sounds sensible.

I highly suspect that a restaurant owner/manager would disagree that it would be fine to change a baby on a table in a restaurant.

How bloody massive are the picnic tables that they can fit an Alsatian and a picnic on and still have room for three people to eat at?

Yeah that's what I said - etiquette. Plus any good place has a changing facility

It's not just a matter of etiquette, it's hygiene.

A little bit, but we are discussing baby being changed on changing mat on a table

Were we? Lol.

Yes I am aware that's what we are discussing. I stand by my view that it's an issue of hygiene to change a baby (even on a changing mat) on a restaurant table. I find it slightly bizarre that that's even up for debate tbh.

Still comes under etiquette whether we are addressing hygiene issues or not.

You've totally lost me now but for clarity I would agree that changing a baby's nappy on a table intended for people to eat on is both poor etiquette and unhygienic.

Clearly you understand, but let's not discuss this further

I really don't! I genuinely can't work out whether you agree with me or not but yes let's leave it there 👍🏻

A tough one. She used a changing mat on an outside table (that is exposed to wildlife and the elements). I think that is ok, but it depends if they were picnic tables that never get cleaned, or tables that get packed up by the establishment they belong to,
In any case, no on wants to see a baby get their nappy changed when they are eating.
There should be a special level of hell for parents who do this in indoor spaces.

If they were on a mat then they were not on the table?

was the mat floating mid air?

Honestly, no one apart from the parents appreciates the sight of a poo smeared bum or wee.

It’s common courtesy to keep that off the table.

Voted you are unreasonable because you're unreasonable- not because I think it's the park keepers job to deal with.

Oh come on, of course not. Indoors smells would be unbearable. And also, indoors, it's quite unlikely that you'd get wild animals pissing on the tables, birds shitting on them, and them not getting cleaned at all. Indoor tables are CLEAN. Outdoor tables are ALREADY dirty.

A baby on a mat.. does no harm.

I would and have had a problem with a dog being sat on a picnic table sharing its owner’s food. I chose not to comment but did think I may not eat food from a picnic table again.

Baby was on a mat. I am sure other worse things have been there.
You also don't know if she had a c-section making bending over into the grass painful.
Or she could have a baby that hates the changing table.
Bottom line is, worse things have been on that table and you don't know that person's circumstances. Bigger and worse things are happening in the world