Affair or not

[ohh]

My sisters husband has been messaging a lady saying she is beautiful and they have obviously been manipulated as elderly and the ‘ lady’ asked for money for a dress as in my body would look good in this.

He has paid so far £609 to her and they have in the past been friends. Not very close just knew each other sane circles etc.

aware she kissed him only.

I said he is having an affair or trying to.

sister said not

am I being unreasonable?

He's chatting to her, complimenting her, giving her hundreds of pounds and has kissed her? Is there any other definition of an affair?

She only found about by accident as in he was hiding it which made me suspicious

Yes, affairs usually are hidden

So he’s married, but is messaging another woman telling her that she’s beautiful, bought her a dress because her “body would look good in it”, kissed her, and is giving her money, and is hiding all of this?

Even if they aren’t having sex, it’s not really acceptable is it?

Definitely emotional affair, and entering ‘ full’ affair territory.

if nothing else, isn’t she angry that he’s given her £600! That alone would make me mad.

What’s the question, here? Is he having an affair.. is that the question?

on a sliding scale of ‘ she’s a person I’ve met’ being 0, to ‘ she’s my obsession, I need to bang her daily’ being 10, it sounds as though he’s at a 7. Hth.

Your sister needs to kick him to the kerb.

He's a sugar daddy to a woman that's not his wife.

That’s what I said . Think it’s worst being emotionally invested affair . I don’t think just because they may not of slept together it’s still classed as an affair

its either an invested friendship or at least emotional affair

It’s classed as an emotional affair with a gullibility factor and financial weirdness.

For what was he paying her so much money?

If it is not an affair he certainly wants it to be

no fool like an old fool

your sister knows she just doesn't want to accept what is happening

That’s what I said . Does not matter they have been to pages lack of respect

Seems totally fine.

How elderly is your sisters DH?

71 and she is 64

Major factor the woman he messaged is at my best guess 28

I know people don't like the question, but is there anything else going on in terms of behaviour changes? I only ask because my DMIL (sadly departed) had a sudden and out of character fling, although she was single tbf, she was in her late 60s and in retrospect, as she very rapidly developed aggressive mixed dementia / Alzheimers over the next few years, it was incredibly out of character as she was quite "proper" after retirement.

If this chap has form, then it might just be his character, but if it's really out of the blue, then some deeper digging might be in order, especially due to the financial aspect and the age of the recipient....

This is firmly 👏Not 👏Your 👏 Circus.

If your sister isn't testing ideas with you then you don't volunteer your views. Be a reflective sounding board, nothing more, or you'll fall out with your sister.

Mistress of darkness I think you might be on to something as he used to be so kind and loving to wife
very out of character apart from the sex issue as they are still doing this together. My sister used to say they had a very wild sex life . I wonder if this is the start of fad dementia

Is he taking any meds for Parkinson or other conditions(can’t remember which conditions)? There’s been reports that perfectly normal people have become sex addicts, gamblers etc as a result if these drugs, a real personality change.

Silver birch - heart medication candestartan.bisoprolol and spicing from memory

Apixiban

Drinks a lot as well