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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being stalked ?

13 replies

connecsheon · 28/06/2026 14:03

Police wouldn’t help when I called 101 and just referred it to my officer in charge of my case despite this being new evidence.

My ex abuser has been released from bail under investigation. The police did not inform me and he moved into a property 5 mins from where I live.
He has admitted to my son was watching us whilst on bail to “catch a glimpse”. He says he waited down junctions for me that he knew o would have to pass by. He is a trained sniper. He repeated to me something I said INSIDE my own house that he would not have any idea about unless there is some kind of device monitoring me. He took the TV and then gave it back to my son which was odd behaviour.

He uses the excuse that he has a friend near my house and that is why I will see him about. He described things accurately that he has seen at my house. Namely a man coming to my house and what he brought. He admitted he saw him but he knew other things too, about other visitors.

He is having me followed as I had an incident the other day where I sensed a man following me in a car and parked and moved the minute I did and edited and watched me. I did a test and the movement was linked to when I turned my ignition on. He could not see me but his ignition went on and he quickly turned his car round to follow me but I outsmarted him and he knew that I had noticed him following me.

He is using the authorities to investigate me for and has made counter allegations against me and he admitted that it is punishment and retaliation. He wants my house and has put in an application with land registry as he wants control and to prevent me living with a partner and he said he wants me to lose everything and end up on my own with nothing.

i have an IDVA who is the only person who has helped me. The police are obviously trying to no further action him despite me providing video and audio of death threats and knife threats and stalking threats.

I have become suicidal and am having trauma therapy but he is using another police force to investigate me both to get me arrested and to use TOLATA to get my property. He has a good job and high salary. I have a lot of trauma and can barely function. So he is able to get great advice from a solicitor who advised him to make counter allegations. He is so powerful I think the officer in charge of my case got terminated. Unsure of it was to do with ex 2 suicide attempts that could be reversed.

There is so much to explain and I can’t but suffice to say the police are leaving me to a dangerous individual who is intent on destroying me to the extent he is getting me followed. I’m not sure why he is getting others to follow me. I have seen this man who follows me before. My IDVA checked the number plate and his car was not taxed or MOT and went into a traveller camp. when I showed that I noticed he was following me.

Any advice anyone could give me would be so appreciated. I am obviously so distressed I feel like I’m going to be another Domestic violence statistic. He is just using the courts and police to abuse me. can’t believe how he is turning it around on me and is managing to do this to me. Especially since my police force have done nothing for me despite being the ones that encouraged me to make statements after I was deemed at high risk of serious harm and homicide following a dash report. The Sergeant said as he couldn’t get to me or my son he started to bully them! They said intimidated by him. They haven’t even taken most of my evidence the stuff I gave has not even been reviewed as everyone was off sick and I have a new OIC. I will be heard fur the fifth time at a MARAC meeting and have had a safe room put in my house.

He told me he went to his MP about me. He got a promotion at work and He told me to wait to hear from the police as they are secretly investigating me and looking at my bank statements. He said I will hear from his solicitor too as he wants a beneficial interest in my house.

I can’t quite believe this is happening to me.

OP posts:
Justanopinionnothingmore · 28/06/2026 14:05

Please get in touch with paladin. They are meant to be teally good with stalking and advice. Just google them.

connecsheon · 28/06/2026 14:07

I will I’ve not heard of them. Thank you.

OP posts:
whippersnapper55 · 28/06/2026 17:58

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, do you have adequate locks and a ring doorbell? Save any footage you can and keep on pushing your investigating officer, make sure you document every interaction with a follow up email so there's a paper trail.

Paladin are excellent for advice on stalking and harassment. You can also contact National Stalking helpline -

www.suzylamplugh.org/pages/category/national-stalking-helpline

NotAWurstToIt · 28/06/2026 18:13

OP sorry to hear this is happening to you. Others have given good advice.
If you are concerned that he may have hidden tracking devices in your home please ask your police force / liaison officer if they have access to digital sniffer dogs or if they can ask another force to support who has one. These dogs have been used in domestic abuse and coercive control situations to find hidden digital devices.

MyWeddingDress2026 · 28/06/2026 18:16

Call 101 and ask for a complaint to be raised. Send details to your MP.

tripleginandtonic · 28/06/2026 18:19

MyWeddingDress2026 · 28/06/2026 18:16

Call 101 and ask for a complaint to be raised. Send details to your MP.

This.

Reggiebo · 28/06/2026 18:24

Please look up Gracie's law. Sadly she didn't survive.

Am I being stalked ?
roseymoira · 28/06/2026 18:39

No advice sorry, this is horrific and outrageous.

connecsheon · 29/06/2026 09:51

thank you for the advice. My IDVA and I have both asked fur police to look for a tracker and any devices in my home. They just ignore me and don’t answer. I called 101 and the officer refused to send response officer to deal with the new occurrences.

I am calling the stalking helplines today.

It is very hard dealing with CPTSD and advocate for myself.

OP posts:
MyWeddingDress2026 · 29/06/2026 19:45

connecsheon · 29/06/2026 09:51

thank you for the advice. My IDVA and I have both asked fur police to look for a tracker and any devices in my home. They just ignore me and don’t answer. I called 101 and the officer refused to send response officer to deal with the new occurrences.

I am calling the stalking helplines today.

It is very hard dealing with CPTSD and advocate for myself.

Did you raise a complaint when you called 101?

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 29/06/2026 20:09

@connecsheon I am really sorry for everything you are going through OP & too not be supported by the Police is unacceptable. Can you make contact with @jessphillipsmp Jess Phillips MP, she served as Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Safeguarding and Violence Against Women and Girls from July 2024 to May 2026. Reach out to her office highlighting the seriousness of your situation & ask for her help. You really need someone in power to advocate on your behalf

Notimefor · 30/06/2026 06:56

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 29/06/2026 20:09

@connecsheon I am really sorry for everything you are going through OP & too not be supported by the Police is unacceptable. Can you make contact with @jessphillipsmp Jess Phillips MP, she served as Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Safeguarding and Violence Against Women and Girls from July 2024 to May 2026. Reach out to her office highlighting the seriousness of your situation & ask for her help. You really need someone in power to advocate on your behalf

This is good advice

connecsheon · 30/06/2026 12:56

I am having a nervous breakdown and I will have to get my daughter to contact her office for me. I appreciate your advice.
I have heard from the police now. but I am so broken I can’t function at all.

OP posts:
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