AIBU in thinking 'what's wrong with everyone just signing a card?'?

52 replies

Floogal · 21/06/2026 15:02

Another whip round thread. My manager is turning 40 soon. 2 of the supervisors are organising a card for everyone to sign, alongside the dreaded whip round. They have even emailed and WhatsApped their bank details so people can contribute (alongside cash donations). FFS, what is wrong with people just signing a card? I'm always grateful for birthday and Xmas cards and that is good enough quite frankly!!! I can understand gifts if someone is retiring, but birthdays is a bit much.
For one thing there is a big income disparity at work (as other workplaces) and it is wrong to pressure people to donate. Also, I hate the sucking up.
The worst part is, I have worked on other places with even more extreme whip round cultures.

OP posts:

scalt · 04/07/2026 16:38

I thought the birthday girl or boy handed round sweets to everyone else; at least in the workplaces I’ve been in.

But yes, whip rounds annoy me.

Icanhearthebreeze7895 · 04/07/2026 17:07

Minasama · 04/07/2026 15:43

I totally agree, I am back
working in a UK environment after many years of being in international teams and it is doing my head in. I’ve been asked to contribute to Matt’s wedding present (never heard of the guy) and we were asked to give our personal phone numbers as part of a recent fitness challenge (have these people not heard of GDPR?) It just to wouldn’t even occur to me to share my personal phone number with a large group of colleagues. I used the work one…
The chat for this thing was ludicrous, I’d get 180 messages over the weekend, full of pictures of people with their other halves.
It’s lovely really but most of the rest of the world has a much clearer delineation between professional and personal and I’m finding it quite hard work tbh!! I’m aware I sound like an old miseryguts… most recently I worked for a French company and I had no idea about anyone’s personal life. It was good because it reduced the number of things I needed to remember!

Edited

I so agree with this. I’ve worked abroad in French speaking offices, and found the strict boundary between work and home a bit unfriendly initially, but I soon came to appreciate it very much and now find the blending of the two rather unprofessional.

I think in the UK, where the working day is long and the holidays are less frequent, you are encouraged to mix your social life and work life, because you don’t have enough time to develop strong social connections outside of office hours, especially when you are commuting long distances.

That’s rather a digression from the topic of this thread but I think if someone wants a colleague’s birthday celebrated at work then arrange to take the person out for lunch fhs, but it’s not the collective responsibility of the company to contribute.

It’s a bit different if someone key like a cleaner or receptionist on a modest wage is retiring after 30 years! Even then the management should take the lead and individual employees should be asked to contribute if they want to!

Btw, I worked in one office in the States where everyone was supposed to be “in one big family” mainly because we all worked a lot of unpaid overtime and the “family” narrative was pushed to suppress any rebellion!

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