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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want more idea what my 18-year-old is doing?

2 replies

Wofflewaffle · 14/06/2026 19:06

AIBU to want to know what my 18 yr old is up to?

i don’t mean ‘up to’ in a bad way, i just mean generally 🤷‍♀️ like who he is with, what he’s doing, where he goes?

18yr old DS, at uni (though not really enjoying it - we aren’t in the UK so it’s a bit different here), has a lovely girlfriend, a part time summer job, generally quite pleasant and nice when he’s home though mostly he’s in his room / the shower when he’s here.

i realised recently that we haven’t had a proper conversation for months. I work full time - 42 hours and mostly out of the house, he’s out most evenings, I go to bed before he gets in usually. About 2 months ago we did speak about him changing courses, but it hasn’t got any further than that I think.

He doesn’t drink much, too expensive and fattening. I am 99% sure that he’s vaping, and smoking a bit of dope with his friends. He has always been very sociable, lots friends living locally (also at home) and others are back for summer so he’s out pretty much every night.

I don’t know if it’s mum-spider-senses that something is going on… or just that I miss him 🤷‍♀️ it’s daft really, when I was at uni I didn’t speak to my parents for weeks at a time, and they had no idea what I was up to (just as well as they would not have approved 😱).

i think I might need to make an appointment to speak with him! Is this normal?

OP posts:
itsanamething · 14/06/2026 19:07

Very normal. As you've said yourself you went weeks without speaking to your own parents.

Prunellaprim · 14/06/2026 19:53

Normal. I wouldn't phrase it as an appointment but how about texting him something like:

" Hey do you fancy going to (insert something he likes) with me? My treat. Let me know when would work for you."

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