Enough candles and petitions. What are we actually going to DO?

[getoutofmyhead]

I know there have been threads. I'm sorry to add another one. But I cannot for the life of me move past this. Three boys. Not sentenced. After repeated, evidenced rape of little girls. Walk free because their future matters more than girls? This is what this country, the world thinks girls and women are worth. I signed the petitions. But I am loosing sleep over it and wondering: is that it? Is that all we've got? All the rage, the raw emotion, surely we can use this to better ecient that a petition who will be forgotten in a few days.
I refuse and we should all refuse.

Women, our ancestors, have chained ourselves to railings, we have made noise so loud it could not be ignored. We have done it before and we can do it again, right?

Tell me what you're willing to do. Tell me what's already being organised. Because we cannot let this happen continuously. We cannot let this just pass.
What do we do? As a mother of daughters, I am dying inside and I want to take all this hate and turn it into something for our daughters and their future in this country.

Please let not be this another Sarah Everard moment. where we all light candles, cry together, and then watch it fade while nothing changes.

Please someone tell me is there hope for collective actions. We as women have been too reasonable for far too long.

I agree, I came on to see if somehow that review had been completed already!

You would think a big voice like Mumsnet could try and do something seeing as they deal with mostly women and children. Where's their campaign?

We have to star making parents accountable if heir child commits a crime under 16.
When James Bulger was murdered by two 10 year olds I always thought that the parents should have been in the dock too.

There's no way that crime wasn't committed without it having something to do with the home life and the parenting.

I love this and totally agree. But what would we actually want them to do? What would stop it being just another hashtag?

Absolutely this. And I have been very quiet politics wise l my adult life. I’m 50 now with an 18 year old daughter going into the world and it’s frightening.

This appeal result could be the straw that breaks this old camels back and I’m ready to march hopefully with many more of you. Granted it could still be pissing in the wind but like you say OP, we need the noise.

No, not yet. It will be some weeks.

As a mother is terrifying, I hear you. Mine are little and it haunt me at night, its a dread that never leave and no way to live.

But another march? is that all we got? because as you say, we may as well piss in the wind. March dont go anywhere.

Build more secure flats so women and children who want to escape violence behind closed doors can.
Breaking the cycle that this behaviour is accepted from males.

Schools?
The majority of issues at schools are caused by shitty parenting - I sit on PX Panels and believe me the kids we are seeing do NOT have stable or even half decent parenting
I have no idea what else you want schools to do

Men tolerate this behaviour from men.

Men, good men, need to be part of the solution.

I can get a pair of Burdizzo elastrators! So you hold them down, and I'll apply the rings.

Me too. Unfortunately many people don’t. Personally I think it’s better for everyone if we have a more balanced and healthy society but then we’re called bleeding hearts and do-gooders. But it’s about trying to stop it before it happens as well as punishing those responsible for committing crimes.

Make it legal for women to use pepper spray

We do need the noise and we need to change the message sent out about what is acceptable in society. Because if we keep minimising abusive behaviour against women and girls then it ultimately makes it seem socially acceptable.

This is the strongest outrage I can remember and it will alert judges and the CPS that women are finally saying enough is enough forcefully enough to be heard.

I had to google it as I had no clue. Ten years in prison for owning pepper spray. While three boys hold a child at knifepoint and walk out of court with a £26 fine.
I can't.
And yes, I catch myself thinking women should just carry protection, lets all be black belt in martial art, stay safe and locked away. We've been told to modify our behaviour our entire lives and thats enough.
Why are we so still facing all of this?

Have you posted on the correct thread?

I think we forget about one important thing here - these kids did it for fame and glory, to publish it online for others to watch. When will this social media ban for kids be introduced? Why nothing is being done to address this, just delay, delay, delay...

DD carries deep heat "for her sore shoulder"

Women coming together brought about the clarity in the Supreme Court ruling on sex based toilets etc. I like to think I played a teeny weeny part in that movement. Mumsnet played a big part in that too, it was and still is pretty much the only website that allows open discussion on womens rights.

I think the sentences for the rapists are only being reviewed because so many of us signed the petition on line, thanks to seeing it on Mumsnet.

It’s not just under 16s though is it?

And once they turn 16?

Plus the update from Australia on their ban isn’t going as well as they hoped, as predictably as the teenagers guessed.

I used to carry a particularly effective, deadly oven cleaning spray.....

Violent crime peaked in 1995. Maybe parenting has got better then, if it's down to "sloppy parenting".

Media hysteria about it has certainly got a lot worse though.

Sadly though all that’s happening now is that all toilets/ changing rooms are becoming unisex so it’s not actually helped the situation if anything yes made it worse!

In this case we do need to wait for the court of appeal.

However the reality is that people don’t want to hear the answers. Because the majority of them lie in parenting. And people don’t want to change the way they parent.

We shouldn’t be advocating bringing back the cane or other such corporal punishments, but we do need to reverse this trend where children now hold all the power and authority is a null concept.

And the absolute truth is that the majority of parenting in this country is done by women.. The same women who we’re looking to protect.

We need to start owning the fact that this so called “gentle parenting” is basically cop out parenting. “Use gentle hands; no we must be nice; don’t do that darling.” Parents marching into school demanding that their little darling is in the right, and how dare you take away his smartphone.

Smartphones in general need to be banned for under 18’s IMO. No child needs a smartphone. Children don’t need to be on social media, in fact it needs to be banned. I’d actually go so far as to say that social media in general is harmful to all of society and its eradication would not be a bad thing.

And then we need to look at the wider reality. Neurodiversity. Because neurodiversity has become out of control and we need to ask why. Because there has to be a reason.

This level of so called ADHD and autism absolutely did not exist 20 years ago, now every parent is looking for a diagnosis. And while some of that is going to be real, and while back in our day there will have been children who we can now look back at and say that absolutely they were ND, it definitely didn’t happen on this level. So we have to ask, is it genuinely the case that more children are neurodiverse now? And if so, what has changed to cause it? Or, and nobody is going to want to admit to this, is it actually the case that lack of parenting, lack of decent boundaries and discipline have led to a number of children who are simply unable to regulate because they’ve never been parented. Children who are in fact naughty children and have never had discipline.

I suspect the answer is somewhere in the middle, i.e there is the increase which needs to be looked at, but there will also be the children who have been allowed to be labelled because it’s easier to abdicate responsibility then as a parent.

And then we need to hold the parents to account for the behaviour of their children.

Women are definitely victims here. But women are also 50% complicit in shaping the children responsible for those behaviours.

and that's why Jess Phillips resigned...well, one of the reasons. She has come out and said that the Prime Minister has all he requires to set a ban going with the big Social Media company's but he's dragging his feet for some reason.