how to handle requests about cat visiting times?!

[GreenLoafers]

For the last six years, whenever my friend has gone away I've looked in on her cats. It means popping in twice a day to put food down, refresh their water bowls and empty the litter trays.

It started off as a group effort with multiple friends sharing the task but everyone else has dropped off for various reasons so now its just me.

I don't mind too much.

My morning visits tend to happen anywhere between 6am and 9am depending on what else is going on in my life.
Yesterday, I went in at 6:15am. Today I went in at 8:50am.

When I text my friend an update today she was very grateful but asked whether I could please try and visit the cats at the same time each day. She was very polite about it.

To me it doesn't seem like it matters - when I go in earlier, the cats don't move off the bed so I assume they just amble down to get their food when they're ready.

I'm not sure how to handle this. In some ways I'm pretty pissed off about it and want to tell her to shove the cat visiting up her arse. But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

Sorry - this is a bit garbled.

She’s cat-shit crazy ! And a CF 🤬

When I am away, my two (fat) cats have automatic kibble dispensers that go off twice a day. My friend comes in around the same time every afternoon, as her schedule allows, and gives them wet food, scoops litter, washes their dishes and spends some time visiting them. She usually sends me a photo of them. She brings in the mail. If she sees anything that needs to be done, she takes care of it. I pay her $25 a day and feel like I'm the one who benefits the most! We have been friends for many years, but I would never expect her to do all that for nothing.

I've got cats and as long as they get their morning feed it doesn't need to be at same time each day. You are doing her a massive favour , so suit yourself

Say no I'm fitting in a favour round other commitments next time pay a sitter ..cf

Gosh, what a demanding person! She's lucky you're still agreeing to do this for her for free, and I don't believe for a moment that the cats honestly care what time you visit, so long as they're getting food and fresh water every day. Expecting you to stick to a rigid schedule just because she prefers it is extremely cheeky. I'd definitely send her the message (politely) that you can't commit to precise timings. I have a feeling that the precise timing won't so important, after all, once she realises she'll have to find someone else to do it if she wants it done by the clock.

That’s really cheeky. I feed my neighbour’s cat when they go away and vice versa. No way would I ask them to come at a specific time and they’re only next door!

Our cat gets his evening meal bang on 6.30, and by God he will let you know it's 6.30 if you're not there in his cupboard then. Breakfast depends on the day - on work days it's usually before 7, weekends later.

When we're away and either our neighbour or MIL pops in, they just leave down some extra dry food and come when they can - he won't starve, no matter how much he makes out he is a poor starving kitty. I do prefer someone to come twice a day, partly because the cat is used to company and being able to go out and will probably be a bit lonely/bored, but again, I'm sure he woudl be fine.

We absolutely always bring a gift, I can't believe anyone wouldn't. We were away for just one night in March and I gave our neighbour a decent bottle of wine and a big Easter egg (I will look after his cats too if he's away, so it works out fine).

I pay £35/day for a sitter and can’t even get him to come at the same time each day. When I’m relying on a favour from a neighbour I’m just grateful that they come at all.

Completely unreasonable of her to request that.
You can't live your life around a cat. When I feed my own cat I don't even feed it at set times - he gets wet food roughly first thing in morning, tea time and bedtime with biscuits, but I don't stress about it. I don't rush home to ensure he's eaten if I'm out a bit longer than usual, or sometimes I get up at different times in a morning, or if I'm out of the evening. He's alright, he knows he can go and catch a mouse if he's starving.

The neighbour who very kindly occasionally feeds my cat does it to her own schedule, and I always impress upon her that any time she can manage is perfect. As a side note, I wish this neighbour would accept the gifts I give her for doing it! I always leave a bottle of wine and a tenner on the side for her but she never takes it. She has a heart of gold.

I think 'no' and maybe a laughing-face emoji should cover it.

YANBU. Perhaps you could suggest that she gets one of those timed pet feeders for the cats's morning feed so that they have their food at the same time each day and then you just pop in at whatever time you can to check on them and give them a bit of a fuss (and do their litter tray if they have one?). You could refill/reset it when you're in there doing the evening feed. Then the kitties can have their routine without you having to organise your morning around them.

This is a great excuse to bow out if you want to.

“you’re right Jane, consistency is important for the cats but unfortunately I’m just not able to commit to that with everything I’m balancing so best all round I bow out now. I’ve heard Alex had a good experience using agency x”

You are saving her an small fortune to be honest so I think it's a bit cheeky to be asking you to come at the same time each day. I'm pretty sure the cats couldn't give a toss. So wtaf? Is it so she can be there at a convenient time to watch you on camera maybe?
Anyway I'd be saying no, this has to work around my schedule sorry. If that does not suit you then you''ll need to ask someone else or put them in a cat kennel. But say it in a polite way. I'm a bit direct.

My cat sitter doesn't come at a set time each day!

Obviously your call to make OP but this is the feeling I think you need to channel - "I'm doing you a big favour but that's apparently that's still not quite good enough"

Tbh I'd reply and say something like. "I can see this is important to you so best you get a professional cat sitter from now on so you get exactly the service you require" And don't relent! She is a Cheeky mare!

This is a lovely polite post that lands - do this !

To be fair, we do stick to a feeding routine, mine are fed at the same times everyday, and one of the cats knows when its his feed time. However, I wouldn't impose this on anyone feeding my cats as a favour, the cats are fine if they are fed a couple of hours later than normal..

We have cats and due to working shifts they never get fed at set times, they get fed between 5-8am and 3-7pm. They have biscuits and water all day.
Your friend is being ridiculous, they won’t starve!

Absolute cheek of her! She's getting free cat sitting duties TWICE A DAY and she's complaining?! I have a cat and I am lucky enough to have my parents pop over when I'm away to feed him and change his litter, I wouldn't dream of telling them when to go in!

Tell her if she wants them feeding at the same time everyday she needs to buy a cat feeder, this would suit you because you would then only have to visit once a day to reset it.

I pet sit, I do Am & Pm visits, only ones who have an actual time slot are ones who need medication at set times. Never had an issue in 15 years doing it this way.

Well maybe you should ask her if she can look after your pets for a weekend and go away then!
Does she do anything for you in return @GreenLoafers or is it a one way street?
I think you should respond with one of the great replies other posters have given and next time she posts on the group chat I wouldn’t answer or say you are unavailable!

I meant why is the timing of Op's feeding the cats only a problem now.

She's completely out of order! I recently found myself cat sitting, I was caught unexpectedly....
The owner somehow convinced herself she was doing me a favour - & paid me the princely sum of £4 a visit. It was a 20 mile round trip!
I didn't enjoy the commitment, fretting about the poor thing being hungry/lonely/thirsty/bored/hot & still remain confused about the whole thing.

I won't be agreeing to it again, for anyone - doesn't sound like you're getting anything out of this. Time to change the narrative.

I pay someone to come in and feed my cat when I'm away, and even they don't come at the same time each day. There's a window, and they arrive when they can in that time around whatever other animals they are visiting to feed that morning.