how to handle requests about cat visiting times?!

[GreenLoafers]

For the last six years, whenever my friend has gone away I've looked in on her cats. It means popping in twice a day to put food down, refresh their water bowls and empty the litter trays.

It started off as a group effort with multiple friends sharing the task but everyone else has dropped off for various reasons so now its just me.

I don't mind too much.

My morning visits tend to happen anywhere between 6am and 9am depending on what else is going on in my life.
Yesterday, I went in at 6:15am. Today I went in at 8:50am.

When I text my friend an update today she was very grateful but asked whether I could please try and visit the cats at the same time each day. She was very polite about it.

To me it doesn't seem like it matters - when I go in earlier, the cats don't move off the bed so I assume they just amble down to get their food when they're ready.

I'm not sure how to handle this. In some ways I'm pretty pissed off about it and want to tell her to shove the cat visiting up her arse. But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

Sorry - this is a bit garbled.

How can the litter be too dirty with two litter changes a day?! Most cats crap maybe once a day and a couple wees. You often don't need to change the whole litter more than a couple times a week. If you flush the poo.

If she gets a professional cat sitter or a kennels next time, they are going to have their own do’s and don’ts, she’ll have to work around them.

Just go when you reasonably can. I’ve had many cats over the years. They’ll be fine.

I look after my daughter's cat when they're away. I go once a day, leave plenty of food and kibble, clean the litter tray have a quick chat then leave. She's super grateful. Your friend is ridiculous and cheeky.

I agree with both of you - cats like routine, are aware of times of day and would feel safer with regularly spaced visits. However you are her friend, not a servant, and you need to do what works for you.

Just My lovely little cat died recently but myself and a neighbour took turns looking after each others cats. It’s about a 30 second walk to her house, how far do you have to travel ? She should be giving you a gift each time, just a small token, what a CF. It’s about £10 a visit for a cat sitter where I live.

When I paid a cat sitter they came whenever suited them in the morning or afternoon. A litter tray won’t be too dirty. Alternatively she can put an autofeeder down if they need to be fed at a set time and you just pop in and top it up and then it opens at whatever time she wants feeding.

My mogs are happy to eat at any time, day or night. And the friendly one would welcome you regardless of time.

I appreciate some humans are more organised (your mate I mean). But you're free. And the alternative is expensive.

As long as they have clean water at all times they'll be fine.

Given how much you are saving her on professional cat sitting fees whilst you don’t expect a gift every time I think it’s the least she could do to show her appreciation. Have you ever asked her to look after your pets so you can go away, if not has she ever offered to return the favour.

This! Your friend is a CF.

Oh my life!!! Both my neighbours and another local friend will all willingly feed our two cats for us when we're away. No way do I expect similar times each day, as I'm so grateful to them for doing it for us! Apart from saving a fortune it causes far less stress to the cats 🐈, than a cattery does. My cats couldn't care less what time fresh supplies arrive as long as it does at some point. I always buy them lovely presents too .

She lives two doors away so not far to travel 😂

I pay a cat sitter £10 a visit and she comes at different times!

She has offered to come and sit with the dog several times

So, I asked her once to drop in on my dog at lunchtime when me and DH both had an unavoidable day in the office.

She agreed after regaling me with details of the meeting she'd have to cut short, the errand she'd have to postpone, and how she couldn't stay long because she had to get back to work at 1pm on the dot.

🙄🙄🙄

I wanted to just say "Thanks for making it work" and let her come to visit the dog.
DH hates feeling like anyone has done any favours for him/us, so cancelled a really important meeting to stay at home with the dog instead.

First post nails it. She is taking you for granted.

Ironically she'd probably appreciate you more if you put more boundaries in.

As often happens on here, the first post nails it.

I would be extremely grateful if a friend did this for me. I don't have any friends living close enough to me to do this, so I have always had to pay a cat sitter.

She's very cheeky @GreenLoafers You need to say what @ACynicalDad said, 'sorry friend, I can't promise what time I will get there on any given day. Maybe you should get a cat sitter...'

Also, we're talking about CATS here, the most chilled 'don't-give-a-shit' animal on the planet. Does she think her cats are standing there when you get there, hand on hip, head-tilted, with their hand pointing at the clock saying 'what time do you call this?!' The. Cats. Will. Not. CARE.

Also, there is no guarantee that the sitter will come the same time every day anyway. Our sitter comes twice a day when we're away, (morning and late afternoons) but she comes any time between 9am and 10am in the morning and then between 4pm and 5.30pm in the afternoon.

And you know what, that's fine!

She pays a cat sitter or she accepts that you will go in at whatever time works for you, it’s as simple as that.

I’d be telling her after this trip that you can’t do it any more, let her sort something else out instead.

In the main it actually does animals good to not do stuff at fixed times. So things in my house happen in an order, but not at exact times. When stuff always happens at X time that’s when animals start to get anxious.

I wouldn’t reply to the owners request.
We have a cat, he changes his timings randomly. I feed him @ the same times every day but he eats when he likes.
It’s a known fact that cats do change their routines. In the wild they change how & where they catch their food, the route they take, everything. Cats have to do this because the prey would learn what was happening & learn to avoid the cat, therefore it’s instinctive & they really don’t mind that things are a bit different! otherwise they’d be upset about some1 else coming into the house to tend to them?!

I would try to feed them at the same time each day and evening if you can.

If she's that concerned about the cats being fed at a specific time, she can train them to use an automatic feeder (available for both wet and dry food). That way you can continue to pop in when you're available.

She needs to realise that someone doing her a favour isn't the same as employing someone and that there has to be a bit of leeway. You're saving her huge amounts of money.

I agree with pp…….tell her that you need to fit the visits around other commitments but if she doesn’t agree to that then she can feel free to get a professional cat sitter which won’t be cheap.

But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

So many posters add this into a post.

Unless she's at your beck and call as you rely on her with daily/weekly help she's probably got more to lose than you if you're now the only one that will see to her cats.

If shes a real friend she'd understand, in fact shes got a bit of a cheek even asking you to go at a set time.

Freindship works both ways.

It is unreasonable of your friend to epect that. Even I don't expect that and my dog has strict restrictions on when he can be fed due to medication.

Jesus, if you’re happy to leave your pets home alone for a prolonged period, then them having breakfast at the same time every day doesn’t matter one iota 🙄

clearly routine doesn’t matter to them else you wouldn’t just leave them on their own would you? Ridiculous.

Agree - and you could add: alternatively, for future holidays, you could use a timed cat feeder and I could go in just once a day to refill it