how to handle requests about cat visiting times?!

[GreenLoafers]

For the last six years, whenever my friend has gone away I've looked in on her cats. It means popping in twice a day to put food down, refresh their water bowls and empty the litter trays.

It started off as a group effort with multiple friends sharing the task but everyone else has dropped off for various reasons so now its just me.

I don't mind too much.

My morning visits tend to happen anywhere between 6am and 9am depending on what else is going on in my life.
Yesterday, I went in at 6:15am. Today I went in at 8:50am.

When I text my friend an update today she was very grateful but asked whether I could please try and visit the cats at the same time each day. She was very polite about it.

To me it doesn't seem like it matters - when I go in earlier, the cats don't move off the bed so I assume they just amble down to get their food when they're ready.

I'm not sure how to handle this. In some ways I'm pretty pissed off about it and want to tell her to shove the cat visiting up her arse. But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

Sorry - this is a bit garbled.

Like the cats are sitting there looking at their watches wondering what has happened. People, jesus. Loads of good suggestions here but basically say, I can carry on fitting it around my schedule o perhaps you should get a pro catfeeder round, understand if that's what you want to do.

This ^ It's ridiculous you are having to go in twice a day.

I do this for my NDN, but it's "in the evening" depending on what's happening in my life and only once a day and the cats have both wet and dry food. Do your friend's cats have some sort of special medical needs? If not, I think she's being unreasonable.

You could suggest she buy an automatic pet feeder if her cats really must be fed at set times, and you will go in once a day in the evening to refill it.

@GreenLoafers she needs The Cat Butler. They will come in twice a day for £15

@GreenLoafers Most nights my 2 cats are fed at 10pm and that's it until morning...unless I can't sleep, then they get treats/food when I stumble down the stairs, to stop them running upstairs and sitting on DH head!
That can be anything from 11.30pm too hot to sleep upstairs to 4.30 NDN son has a v loud car and we normally used to, before I seem to have become an insomniac wake up around 6.30-7.00am.

My cats give no shits. As long as they have food and clean litter trays they can be antisocial little buggers, or they can climb all over you, batting your face, begging for 1000% of your love and attention. 🙄

One thing I do know - they can't tell the time! Believe me, I've tried teaching mine. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Carry on with what you do - ignore your friend - and maybe suggest either a professional cat-sitter or a cattery for next time if she'd prefer.

😺

I’m a professional cat sitter and don’t offer set times! People can pay for once or twice a day and I fit them in around my other jobs and my dog walking - if they ask for AM and PM I’ll try and keep the visits as spaced out as possible but I never guarantee anything.

Would be the last favour I did her.

I would think even a professional wouldn’t commit to the exact same time every day, just a morning and evening/afternoon visit. Ours was a dog walker too so she did visits around her dog walking commitments.

I’d just say sorry you need to fit it around your other stuff and then next time say you’re unable to help. It doesn’t cost that much to get someone in to feed them and if she’s paying them then she can make the requests she wants to them.

If they did why doesn't the friend pay for set care or at least explain at the beginning

Yes totally unreasonable

You are a lovely friend to look after them. I understand why they need to fit around your life.

But I dont think your friend was unreasonable to ask that you go at the same time especially as it sounds like she was polite and does appreciate you. My cat would find the different times very stressful.

However, if you were looking after my cat and said "sorry, I can't guarantee I can go at the same time every day" then I'd just say "ok, thanks for doing it" and genuingely mean it.

One thing I do know - they can't tell the time! Believe me, I've tried teaching mine.

Maybe that's just yours? Cats are genuinely very good at discerning how much time has passed. Mine is so good she wakes me up a minute before my alarm goes off. Clocks going back/forward throws her off for a couple of days then she adjusts. (Not that I tried to teach her, I don't know how you could achieve that) But I agree with PP, they don't need to be fed at the same time rigidly, they wouldn't if they were catching prey to survive.

Considering OP's user friend has dodged doing any reciprocal animal care with the old "fake offer" tactic, it would be the last time I did this for her if it was me. So cheeky!

Just tell her the cats need to work around your timings, if she’s not happy she can book a cattery or an actual cat sitter.

tell her it’s no longer convenient and she is best advised to pay a professional cat sitter

2 weeks is far too long to ask a friend to do this. My NDN will feed my cats if I’m away for 2 nights, and me hers. Any more than that and we use a sitter. My cats go outside and I’d hate for a friend to have the responsibility if they got sick or went missing. My pet sitter has all the vets details should she need them. You are saving your friend a fortune.

The cats don't have any medical issues so no reason why they have to be fed at very particular times.

I think my friend has quite rigid feeding routines because her cats came from a hoarding situation which was very chaotic. So she's really tried to embed routine, predictability and stability in their lives, for example through set feeding times

Thanks for everyone's comments.

If a cat has to wait a couple of hours, so be it! It wont die of starvation

honestly, the CF!!!!

We are looking after DD's cat at the moment, though he is staying with us as that is easier than having to make a one hour round trip twice a day! I can assure you,they can't tell the time.

Even when he is at home with DD his breakfast time can vary depending on the day of the week, i.e. on a weekday he will be fed between 7 and 8 but at a weekend when she has a lie in it will be after 9.

We are retired so he usually gets fed when we get up at about 9am. He only starts to complain if one of us gets up to visit the bathroom once it is already light, thus raising his breakfast expectations, but then goes back to bed.

A professional catsitter won't accommodate that either if the cat has no specific needs! They have to be able to accommodate the cats that do have medication timings.

Can i just add, my cat sitter charges £13 a visit. Mention that to your friend

And sometimes they are feeding mulitple animals and juggling school drop off

I think you should just tell her that the feeding has to fit in with your schedule and it's not possible to do it at the same time every day.
You are doing her a huge favour and it should fit around your life. If it doesn't suit her or the cat she will have to get someone else to do it and probably pay for it too.

Do cats really get upset about routines? I have always imagined a cat as the most independent of animals. More than a dog and much more than a horse stabled and adjacent to a paddock.

Just say, "not really, I need to just fit the cats into my schedule when I can"
The implication being that you aren't working your schedule around the cats.

I pay 25 pounds per day for twice a day for fuss and feed for my cat.
I cannot dictate the time my cat sitter visits due to her other commitments.
I would say :you are sorry but you cant guarentee a fixed time for visits due to other commitments and if this doesn't work for her and her cats ,you wouldn't be offended if she wanted to can make alternative arrangements ,link her some cat sitters and their rates.