how to handle requests about cat visiting times?!

[GreenLoafers]

For the last six years, whenever my friend has gone away I've looked in on her cats. It means popping in twice a day to put food down, refresh their water bowls and empty the litter trays.

It started off as a group effort with multiple friends sharing the task but everyone else has dropped off for various reasons so now its just me.

I don't mind too much.

My morning visits tend to happen anywhere between 6am and 9am depending on what else is going on in my life.
Yesterday, I went in at 6:15am. Today I went in at 8:50am.

When I text my friend an update today she was very grateful but asked whether I could please try and visit the cats at the same time each day. She was very polite about it.

To me it doesn't seem like it matters - when I go in earlier, the cats don't move off the bed so I assume they just amble down to get their food when they're ready.

I'm not sure how to handle this. In some ways I'm pretty pissed off about it and want to tell her to shove the cat visiting up her arse. But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

Sorry - this is a bit garbled.

I'd just say that, sorry, you have to fit it around other commitments, but that if it is that important, she may like to find a professional cat sitter for future trips.

I can see that they would like the routine, but I have to fit the visits in as and when I can. I wouldn't be offended if you needed to get someone else to do it in future? Otherwise happy to carry on as I am xx

Just say something like ‘sorry I’m not able to commit to a set time as I have to fit it in around my own plans for the day, hope that’s ok, if not feel free to get a cat sitter to come in instead as I’m sure they’ll come at the same time for you’

cheeky mare. You’re saving her an absolute fortune! She should be bloody grateful. I have friends who come in and feed my cats while I’m away and firstly I would NEVER expect them to do 2 visits a day. One is plenty and secondly I expect it to be fit around their busy lives. Not around my pets. She’s a proper CF

Another entitled pet owner. Who knew?

Tell her you’ll try but can’t always guarantee, that’ll keep her happy and you can just do whatever time suits you.

How does she know what times you’re there?

I'm not sure how to handle this. In some ways I'm pretty pissed off about it and want to tell her to shove the cat visiting up her arse. But, in another way, she's very polite about it and I don't want to risk losing a friend.

Then be polite back.

Tell her to please shove the cat visiting up her arse and end with 'thank you'.

A two hour window is fine, the main worry is the cat litter being too dirty and them going elsewhere, if that isn't in danger of happening, then carry on as you are. I cat sit and people are just grateful of the £350 saved. Just say that you'll try your best, but it might not be possible. Then, next time, she either accepts the t&Cs or pays out.

I would say "I fit the visit in around my own schedule. If you want more specific conditions being met, feel free to employ a catsitter at your own expense. I have been doing this for you for years without any form of compensation for my time and effort, I'm struggling with feeling used now."

SIX years. And she's never paid you or reciprocated? Wow.

That's a ridiculous request.

You've been her pet sitter for 6 years. You're doing her a big favor and saving her money but it's not good enough, well, she can find someone else then.

WTF - even my professional cat sitter won't guarantee visits in a small time window (only AM or PM).

As @FromRwithL said, how does she know when you are going there?

Dear friend,
I appreciate your concern about the timings, unfortunately due to other commitments I would be unable to stick to a rigid schedule, therefore I have booked a cat sitter to take over from me until you return from your holidays as they can arrive at a set time each day.
I've told them you'll sort the bill out when you return.
Hope you're enjoying your holiday.
Love,
Green Loafers

i feed my cats between 6 and 7 am, when my lovely neighbour feeds them it usually between 8 and 9, my cats deal with it and I am grateful that they get fed.

just explain that it is this way or she will have to find someone and pay them

Agree we pay a cat sitter and it’s just an AM & PM visit times depend on the other clients they have so they fit in the most cost effect route which means it can change daily!

How will the cats know what time you’re in?! Last time I checked with mine they couldn’t tell the time.

Oh mine absolutely can! Always turns up at breakfast time and supper time when the wet food goes down. If we’re late he lets us know and doesn’t shut up until we’ve complied with his demands.

Cheeky so and so.
I'd say "I need to visit when I can fit it in so I can't do the same time every day or I wouldn't be able to do it at all. I understand if you need to ask someone else/ make other arrangements."

And next time she asks I'll say sorry, I can't commit to it, it's too much for me.

What is she like generally as a friend? Sone people seem to think others are lucky to be allowed to serve them.

Sounds like I’m in the minority but I don’t think she’s that unfair in her request, she’s not telling you what time she wants you to go and I’m guessing it’s so that the cats don’t go more than 12 hours or whatever without food. But if the cats don’t care and are not super hungry then it seems pointless and you’re not unreasonable to say no.

When you say group effort do you mean mutual favours and she does something back to help you out? Or are you just saving her lots of money with nothing in return?

I would tell her that when you can, you will come at the same time, but the cats are having to fit around your day. Tell her you won't be offended if she asks someone else to do it instead.

She knows when I've been in because she gets a notification from her door bell or her door lock. I think. I don't know. Some kind of smart thing.

I also send her an update and photo just after I've been in.

She hasn't paid me, but brings me back a gift now and then.

Generally, we get on well. She's okay as a friend. We have some shared interests which we sometimes do together.

We're not particularly close friends but I'm not really one for close friends.

I use a professional cat sitter to feed mine, but a set time is never agreed, it's morning or evening. Family also help out on occasions and again, I never expect them to stick to an exact time.

I think your friend is being cheeky , you are doing this a favour, unpaid. If what you are doing doesn't work for her, she needs to find someone else. If that means she falls out with you, she isn't a true friend.

I would just say this is the last time as you have lots of other commitments so can't do this at a specific time. She should pay someone properly if she wants a job done.

When you say group effort do you mean mutual favours and she does something back to help you out? Or are you just saving her lots of money with nothing in return?

By group effort, I mean she asked each individually and then created a WhatsApp group so three of us could arrange looking in on her cats while she was away on holiday for two weeks.
One of the women kept forgetting to visit the cats at all and got a new boyfriend which kept her busy most weekends.
The other woman had a baby so took herself out of the running.
So that just left me.

That WhatsApp group still exists and we occasionally ask each other for other favours - some cat related, others not.

I like this. Thank you.

I know others have suggested similar.

Its cheeky. Twice a day for one person is a big ask. Just say sorry you can't guarantee times because of work and other commitments.